We were in our parents’ place. I had just pressed play in the Boy and the Heron, the Japanese anime that won the Oscar, and my brother came to the living room and said he wanted to watch it too. I always watch foreign movies and anything else in the original language, so when he noticed it was in Japanese with English subtitles, he asked me to change the language to English. I told him I would not, that’s how I’d rather watch it (and I was watching it before he even came to the room).
He reminded me he’s dyslexic (which I know) and has trouble reading the subtitles. So I said he could watch it in English some other time or in his phone somewhere else. He was very upset about this and stormed out of the room and even got our mother involved (she came to find me later and asked me why I was making trouble).
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We were at our parents’ place. I had just pressed play in the Boy and the Heron, the Japanese anime that won the Oscar, and my brother came to the living room and say he wanted to watch it too. I always watch foreign movies and anything else in the original language, so when he noticed it was in Japanese with English subtitles, he asked me to change the language to English. I told him I would not, that’s how I’d rather watch it (and I was watching it before he even came to the room).
He reminded me he’s dyslexic (which I know) and has trouble reading the subtitles. So I said he could watch it in English some other time or in his phone somewhere else. He was very upset about this and stormed out of the room and even got our mother involved (she came to find me later and asked me why I was making trouble).
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Action that should be judged: I refused to change language in a movie I was watching after my brother, who is dyslexic, said he wouldn’t be able to read the subtitles. Why this can make me the asshole: it seemed to him and also to our mother that it was a minor thing and that my refusal was a lack of empathy towards his condition
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
Especially with that case. I find it incredibly distracting and jarring when the subtitles don’t match the english so I have a really hard time watching dubbed anime.
That said – the living room is communal so you maybe should have moved to a private space to watch something that couldn’t be communal enjoyed.
I think it would depend on why you were at your parents. Is this a family holiday, where the point is group activities? Then you probably should have included him.
Normal day, and there was no significance to this particular movie viewing? Then you’re not at fault for wanting to continue your activity in your preferred fashion.
You don’t give your ages but this behavior seems young. Your brother has a disability and you could have accommodated it. That doesn’t mean you have to watch dubs for the rest of your life. You just could have been a bigger person this time. YTA
YTA this is a wonderful film to watch with family and the English dub is excellent and got a ton of praise. You’re missing out on some great voice acting if you’re only watching Ghibli subbed. It’s well worth multiple watches with multiple casts. Your brother probably just wanted to connect and spend time with you
NAH
Movies dubbed into a different language never hit the same. I prefer subtitles and native language as well. I’m also dyslexic! It takes a lot of practice and we all learn at different speeds and different ways.
NTA, you were watching it with subtitles – I agree, the dubbed versions suck and are so distracting. He can watch it at another time. OR you could have selected a completely different movie to watch and then watch the Japanese one at a later time.
NTA. I wouldnt watch the movie at all if i had to watch it dubbed.
Well the solution is easy, judgement not so obvious.
In the future, play the movie on two devices simultaneously. Your subtitled version on the main screen. His dubbed version with earbuds/headphones so he can hear the dubbed English. If it’s just the two of you watching, you can use earbuds, too. This works for mulit-language situations, too.
Now on to the past:
INFO: This is a pretty nuanced question. Brother can’t read subtitles, so his ask was reasonable. But was your decision fair?
You could have shared the experience with your brother by changing to English, but your enjoyment of the movie in its original form was more important to you.
Does the make you TA?
We at Reddit don’t walk in your shoes. We can’t know how often you bend to his needs due to his dyslexia. It would be easy to choose either side here, but we could easily be wrong, because we don’t know what it’s like at your house, what your relationship is like.
There’s a part of me that wants you to choose sharing the experience and not rejecting him, but you probably know what’s right more than we do.
On one hand, these little acts of generosity could hugely enhance your longterm relationship with your brother. In hindsight, these are moments he might never forget, either to be cherished or signs that you weren’t altogether close growing up.
But if he’s entitled and doesn’t appreciate all you do for him, then you would be playing into that entitlement, rather than making a memory.
Do my comments point you to an answer?
NTA.
I think TVs in living rooms are like plane seats. If you get the window seat, you’re ‘the owner’ of the window – you decide when to close it and open etc. If you get to the TV room and someone is already there and watching something, you don’t demand them to change the channel (or in this case, the language) to something of your liking – just like you can choose whatever you watch if you get there first. You can ask, of course, like your brother did. But the other person can deny it.
(Extra AH points for the brother to go crying to his mommy over something so trivial)
NTA – it wasn’t a communal watch, you tried to watch something and you brother spontaneously decided to join…
And then ran off to mommy because his interruption of your watch didn’t go his way.
Your brother is the AH.
You’re not required to change the subtitles but it would be a nice thing to do and maybe your brother just wanted to spend time with you by doing something you both can enjoy. One day you will miss the opportunities you had to hang out together. And the dub version of the boy and heron isn’t that bad.
NTA. You were already watching it when he came in, it’s not like you forced him to sit through subtitles knowing he’d struggle. He can watch it dubbed on his own later. It’s not fair to ask you to change how you prefer to experience a film you were already in the middle of
lol classic sibling drama. guess mom’s still the referee huh?
NTA as it was him who came there while you were watching it
The compromise of seeing it dubbed another time seemed fair
If you don’t share things with your brother then both of your lives are diminished. You only have one family. Would you not make a sacrifice so your brother can live as well? Soft YTA.
Oof. I mean no one can force you to be kind. You have every right to be ableist jerk. But know ur burning bridges. I think it’s such a nice thing for family to want to sit and enjoy things with you but if you wanna be alone be alone.
Remember to never complain when ur on an island alone tho. You burned all those bridges.
I can’t pay attention with subtitles, but could you watch simultaneously on your phone or a laptop or something? Or with headphones or
I am joining the minority. YTA. There is no reason you couldn’t turn on the dub. Try not being a selfish prick with your brother.
I don’t see the issue, cant you stop yourself from reading?
NTA my mum is dyslexic and she also watches all international movies in dub, it drives me batty.
So you know what I do? I just don’t watch it with her lol.
We can watch the movies on our own time and talk about it later. It’s not that deep.
It’s not the end of the world
YTA… like it was gonna hurt to watch the friggin thing in English. Jeez.
Cripes….
yeah, like he crashed the party and then wanted to change the playlist lol
YTA
Why even bother with a family holiday if you don’t care about each other enough to watch something in a way everybody can follow?
NTA. Dubbed soundtracks are notoriously awful, and you were already watching it when he asked.
NTA it is actually ok to want to finish a movie in language youn started or have preference for original sound. If it was planned communal watching it would be different, but this was not.
You do not have to watch movies in secrecy or stop watching them how you like it.
You should just offer to watch it again with your brother in English because Robert Pattinson does a hell of a job with his voice acting in it as the Heron.
NTA!
I am dyslexic and you know what? He is going to have to learn to read at some point or never drive. The car behind him will not care that he can’t instantly read street signs so watching the anime in Japanese with subtitles will help him in the long run!
In fact, I have dyslexic kids and you know what I did? I forced them to watch sailor moon in Japanese with subtitles in elementary school. At first they paused a lot, but over tile reading speed really got up there!
Subs > Dubs
NTA
YTA you waited until you are on a family trip to watch a film on the living room TV that only you want to watch.
I agree with the mum, why are you causing trouble?
両親の家に行ったって事やろ？自分ちじゃねーのに識字障害持っとるヤツにマウント取るんじゃねーよ、ボケが。YTA。
You weren’t making trouble, your AH brother was.
NTA.