My brother is a year younger than me and honestly, he’s brilliant. He’s one of the best sports medicine physical therapists on the west coast—truly gifted at healing. Unfortunately, he’s also his own worst enemy. Despite his talent, he’s notorious for missing work, often skipping 30-40% of his scheduled shifts. He gets chance after chance but can’t seem to hold down a job.
Why? YouTube.
I’m not exaggerating when I say his entire life revolves around YouTube. He eats, showers, drives, and even sleeps with YouTube playing. I haven’t seen him without a screen playing a video in over two years. He had a meltdown when his phone broke and he couldn’t access YouTube for a few hours. He left Christmas early just so he could go home and watch it alone. It’s become a full-blown addiction.
Now, this didn’t really affect me directly until recently. He’s always sent me shorts here and there—fine, whatever—but lately he’s started sending me full-length YouTube videos ranging anywhere from 30 minutes to over 3 hours. He insists they’re “life-changing” and really important for me to watch.
Here’s the thing: I don’t have time. I maybe watch 20 minutes of YouTube a week, max. I’m a full-time working professional, active in my community, raising two kids, co-parenting with my ex, volunteering at their schools, attending all their activities—and still somehow squeeze in cycling, golf, gym, and a social life.
So I confronted him! I told him that I just can’t watch 3-hour YouTube videos and that he should stop sending them to me. I figured that’d be the end of it—but now he’s upset, and my whole family is giving me crap about it. I’m getting texts and calls accusing me of being dismissive and unsupportive. They say it wouldn’t kill me to just watch the videos to make him feel heard.
Everyone is making it out like I’m being unreasonable here! But honestly, I feel like I’m being gaslit. I love my brother, but I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect a grown man with a full life to sit through hours of videos just because someone else is obsessed with them.
AITA?
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My brother is a year younger than me and honestly, he’s brilliant. He’s one of the best sports medicine physical therapists on the west coast—truly gifted at healing. Unfortunately, he’s also his own worst enemy. Despite his talent, he’s notorious for missing work, often skipping 30-40% of his scheduled shifts. He gets chance after chance but can’t seem to hold down a job.
Why? YouTube.
I’m not exaggerating when I say his entire life revolves around YouTube. He eats, showers, drives, and even sleeps with YouTube playing. I haven’t seen him without a screen playing a video in over two years. He had a meltdown when his phone broke and he couldn’t access YouTube for a few hours. He left Christmas early just so he could go home and watch it alone. It’s become a full-blown addiction.
Now, this didn’t really affect me directly until recently. He’s always sent me shorts here and there—fine, whatever—but lately he’s started sending me full-length YouTube videos ranging anywhere from 30 minutes to over 3 hours. He insists they’re “life-changing” and really important for me to watch.
Here’s the thing: I don’t have time. I maybe watch 20 minutes of YouTube a week, max. I’m a full-time working professional, active in my community, raising two kids, co-parenting with my ex, volunteering at their schools, attending all their activities—and still somehow squeeze in cycling, golf, gym, and a social life.
So I confronted him! I told him that I just can’t watch 3-hour YouTube videos and that he should stop sending them to me. I figured that’d be the end of it—but now he’s upset, and my whole family is giving me crap about it. I’m getting texts and calls accusing me of being dismissive and unsupportive. They say it wouldn’t kill me to just watch the videos to make him feel heard.
Everyone is making it out like I’m being unreasonable here! But honestly, I feel like I’m being gaslit. I love my brother, but I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect a grown man with a full life to sit through hours of videos just because someone else is obsessed with them.
AITA?
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> I told my brother not to send me long YouTube videos any longer. My family said I’m dismissing him and he’s not being heard because I won’t watch his three hour long YouTube videos that he sends me.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Tell him that when he makes his own video you will watch
Then he’s really not a gifted dr. Lol if you have to have an intervention about watching YouTube then you’re not a stable person
INFO: how did you “confront” him? that seems like a really weird thing for people to get so upset about unless you were overly rude about it
NTA. People have different lives. Maybe you could offer an alternative. Please only send me 1 video per month. If I have time I will watch it. Tbh you don’t have to watch it. Sometime just being opening to receiving is more than enough.
NTA
And you’re TOTALLY being gaslit, IMO.
You have every right to spend your time how you choose, just like your brother does. If he wants to spend hours a day on YouTube, that’s his prerogative. But he doesn’t have any right to expect you to do the same. Yes, those videos might be life-changing for him, but maybe not for you.
You might want to ask your family why they’re all siding with him, rather than taking your busy schedule into account. Why is he not being “heard,” but your wishes aren’t important?
NTA. What kind of videos is he watching? You aren’t your brother’s keeper.
NTA. It’s not unreasonable for you to want to spent your free time your way.
And if it was heroin should you jam a needle in your arm to make him feel heard?
Enabling addicts comes in many shapes and it sounds like you decided for good reasons no to enable your brother. NTA
How is this? The problem just say no. If your family complains tell them to watch him and go about your day why can’t people use words to express what they’re thinking. Say no say you have a life and that you’re not interested in YouTube and then please stop sending the videos. Have you said you videos? Delete them and go about your day. If he gets mad send him back a video saying I don’t watch videos and he’ll understand.
Nta, but use your words and mean it
NTA. When I first read the question, I thought he was creating videos and I was going to be like “you should at least watch a couple.” But, you are under no obligation to watch every single solitary video people send you. You may get nothing else done all day.
Tell him you watched one and can’t believe he wastes his life on such insipid crap.
No no no no no NTA. I HAVE A FRIEND WHO SENDS ME CRAZY FOUR HOUR LONG CONSPIRACY THEORY YOUTUBE VIDEOS AND INSISTS I WATCH THEM!!!! Like I’m literally in a hospital right now, I have nothing but time, but I still don’t have the time to watch that crap
NTA, but have you considered confronting him again in a YouTube video? You could start your own channel, Messages to My Brother. This week, it’s “I don’t have time to watch the videos you send me.” A few more suggestions: “Why going to work is important,” “Here’s what we all did after you left the Christmas Party,” “YouTube is for Home, Podcasts are for Driving,” and “My Top Ten Cycling Tips for Beginners” (you already have the channel, so why not?).
NTA
People have their own lives. Maybe you can ask him what he needs from you specifically. Is it advice on any elements of the videos in particular. Tell him you don’t have time to watch all the videos in full but happy to help him here and there if he’s specific about what he’s looking for.
NTA you are being gaslit. Why does your brother need to be “heard”? It’s not even his content! I first thought your brother was creating content on YouTube and that’s why he was spending so much time on it and sending so many videos to you but NOPE he’s just an addict.
NTA.
>Despite his talent, he’s notorious for missing work, often skipping 30-40% of his scheduled shifts.
That’s not genius. That’s arrogance. A “gifted healer” actually shows up to their appointments with the patients they’re supposed to be healing. It’s ridiculous of your family to insist that you should follow in his footsteps. With two kids and a marriage to maintain, you can’t afford to lose your job like he can.
NTA. You need to have a serious conversation with your family about his addiction. Come armed with studies to back you up. If this guy can’t hold a job because he can’t put his phone down, that’s a major problem. Not only will his finances suffer, but is he interested in finding a partner? Starting a family? All those things that require a steady job and a lot of attention? This is beyond a hobby or killing free time. Also point out that these videos aren’t changing his life, so how effective are they?
YTA for whatever the hell this nonsensical fantasy is. Troll harder
Just lie about watching them or tell your family you don’t have time for that crap
Your brother needs an intervention and professional help. In the meantime, ignore the videos he sends you. Don’t even acknowledge them. Just ignore them and move on.
NTA but I don’t understand the point of confronting him, just ignore them when he sends them.
Nta. Your poor brother has an addiction problem that is affecting all areas of his life and your family are enabling it. He needs professional help before he becomes permanently unemployable and ends up a burden on everyone.
I think your brother is 🎥projecting a bit…
If you’re happy, busy, and fulfilled, you don’t need your life changed.
Maybe he’s the unhappy, addicted one?
NTA
Ntah- you are entitled to your own life.
This sounds like a chat gpt story.
NTA
How are you being “unsupportive” they’re not his videos, just random ones he’s trying to force you to watch.
Your family should back you on this, because it sounds like he has serious issues, and if they don’t do something about it then it won’t be long before he loses his job.
‘The best’ anything don’t neglect their patients/customers that much … so maybe ‘the worst’ is a more fitting title.
Start sending him videos on YT addiction … bet he stops real quick.
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YTA, fuck off AI.