It’s been a crazy week with my sister and her 4 boys staying with me, my wife and our son in our 3 bedroom apartment.
This sister is the oldest of us nine kids and I’m the oldest boy. After me is another sister who is staying at my parents with her pair of wild boys. After that is the rest of my 6 brothers. One of which is getting married in a few days.
This is necessary information because in our family, the girls are treated like royalty. Growing up as the oldest boy in the family, I had a lot of responsibility on my shoulders and now that we are older, my parents and siblings all have grown to rely on me and my wife for a lot.
My wife even noted that my mom treats her more like a daughter than she does to my sisters in the sense that they are treated as princesses and don’t know how to do anything. I absolutely can’t stand it and do not let it slide when I’m there but they just ask me instead anyway.
My sisters don’t really parent their own sons very well. Especially now that theyre here with “free babysitters” as they call it. They even joke that they’re here to be “daughter’s, not mom’s”. Thankfully, the one that is staying with me has the more older and better behaved kids but my other sister… they are the most ill mannered kids I’ve ever seen.
Two nights ago, my sister was having a hard night with her 5 month old and slept in the morning. Which was fine. My wife got the rest of the kids settled for breakfast while I slept in because I had only gotten back hours before from my night shift.
My wife put on a cartoon and left for work. I was woken up by the 5 year old screaming “I pooped! Mooom! I’m pooping!! Mommy, I did a poop!” I waited for 10 minutes before getting up and telling my sister who was awake on her phone not sleeping. She just grunted and was like “can you wipe his butt?”
I blinked at her. 1st of all, I believe a 5 year old should be capable of wiping his own butt… but 2nd I AM NOT WIPING YOUR CHILDS BUTT. So I just said “hell no” and went back to bed.
My mom and sisters are pissed with me now. My mom told me that I need to be more nicer to my sister and that she needs help. My sister said I’m being an asshole.
So reddit, AITA?
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It’s been a crazy week with my sister and her 4 boys staying with me, my wife and our son in our 3 bedroom apartment.
This sister is the oldest of us nine kids and I’m the oldest boy. After me is another sister who is staying at my parents with her pair of wild boys. After that is the rest of my 6 brothers. One of which is getting married in a few days.
This is necessary information because in our family, the girls are treated like royalty. Growing up as the oldest boy in the family, I had a lot of responsibility on my shoulders and now that we are older, my parents and siblings all have grown to rely on me and my wife for a lot.
My wife even noted that my mom treats her more like a daughter than she does to my sisters in the sense that they are treated as princesses and don’t know how to do anything. I absolutely can’t stand it and do not let it slide when I’m there but they just ask me instead anyway.
My sisters don’t really parent their own sons very well. Especially now that theyre here with “free babysitters” as they call it. They even joke that they’re here to be “daughter’s, not mom’s”. Thankfully, the one that is staying with me has the more older and better behaved kids but my other sister… they are the most ill mannered kids I’ve ever seen.
Two nights ago, my sister was having a hard night with her 5 month old and slept in the morning. Which was fine. My wife got the rest of the kids settled for breakfast while I slept in because I had only gotten back hours before from my night shift.
My wife put on a cartoon and left for work. I was woken up by the 5 year old screaming “I pooped! Mooom! I’m pooping!! Mommy, I did a poop!” I waited for 10 minutes before getting up and telling my sister who was awake on her phone not sleeping. She just grunted and was like “can you wipe his butt?”
I blinked at her. 1st of all, I believe a 5 year old should be capable of wiping his own butt… but 2nd I AM NOT WIPING YOUR CHILDS BUTT. So I just said “hell no” and went back to bed.
My mom and sisters are pissed with me now. My mom told me that I need to be more nicer to my sister and that she needs help. My sister said I’m being an asshole.
So reddit, AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Not wiping his butt
2. I don’t know what it’s like to have 4 kids… so maybe I’m being insensitive
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Another post about wiping someone else’s child’s poopy butt… no, you’re NTA any more than the person who refused to wipe the 9 year old neighbor kid.
AH
So she’s a guest at your place.
You were sleeping, having gotten holme from night shif not long before.
SHe lets her kids scream in YOUR house, while YOU are sleeping.
And can’t be bothered to wipe the butt of her own child….
NTA
Obviously
NTA. I don’t know about a five year old being capable of completely independent toileting, but if he is accustomed to being helped, as it seems, it’s his mom’s responsibility to help, not yours. Unless there were an emergency, she is their mother. She needs to either do it herself or have a plan with you that you agree to in advance. Eg: could you please look after the boys until 10 am, when I will then be up and fully present for all of them, and help with your son, too, and make lunch for everyone?
Your wife leaving five kids with just a cartoon in while you and your sister slept in also seems like a disaster in the making.
Your problem seems to be with who your sisters are as people, and how your parents treated them growing up. Now in the present, all you can do is expect your sisters to ask reasonable things if you and no further. Set some limits for what you can and will do for them, and be as kind as you are able without sacrifing your peace.
.NTAH.
If her 5 year old son can’t wipe by him self at this point it borderline parental neglect and if your mother is condoning this then she needs to take her rose colored glasses off.
Stand your ground on this one, don’t let them make it about you not helping, make it about her not raising her child. That’s the point there trying to cover up by blaming you. It’s narcissistic
If I were you I would move my family far away from your parents. It’s certainly not fair that you and your wife are the go to people for everything your parents need.
NTA. Your sisters shouldn’t have become parents, and worse case scenario, eventually someone down the road is going to call child services on them.
You are a saint!
nta
NTA. I say it is time to full cut contact.
[removed]
NTA
> us nine kids
Gee, I wonder where your sister got her shitty ideas towards parenting.
> My mom told me that I need to be more nicer to my sister and that she needs help.
Parents who choose to have a stupid number of kids don’t get to complain about needing help.
NTA. No one should be forced to wipe someone else’s kids butt. It’s not a big deal but the Mom is right there doing nothing. That’s her job
And a 5 yr old can definitely take the first go at it but you can’t trust those little monsters to do a good job every time quite yet.
NTA. Your sister does need help. Help
To grow the eff up.
Hell no! Only would do that for a child that is the fruit of my loins.
NTA – not your child, your sister was free and available. I hope, however, the kid did get assistance from your sister? And I presume if there was literally no-one else around you would help?
NTA. She can get up and wipe her own kid’s butt.
Your sister is on her phone instead of taking care of her son. You are not the asshole for not cleaning your nephew’s butt hole. Not your circus, not your little monkey.
Since he is 5, he will be starting school soon. There will be problems if he is not completely toilet trained.
nta she can wipe his butt herself
NTA. If your sisters are home to be daughters not mothers, they can stay with their mom. Grandma can wipe the kids butt. And at 5 the kid is in school or going to school no one is wiping his butt there.
NTA I could see this in a 2 year old but 5? Just when is he going to learn?
NTA but your mom and sisters sure are
NTA! F that noise. Send them all to your mother’s. Princess my ass.
Terrible mother. NTA (you, not her. She is a big gaping one.)