This is a throw away account I’m male 50’s and my coworker “Claudia” is in her 60’s. This started about 6 weeks ago and ended a few days ago.
I work in a cubicle maze and have little to no privacy when it comes to my comings and goings. We have a central bathroom to get to it we have to walk basically from one end of the maze to the other. Claudia works in the middle part of the maze and she monitors everything and everyone. I went to the bathroom one day and when I exited, Claudia was in the hallway outside where both bathrooms are.
She was just standing there and I walked back to my cube and returned to work. Later on in the same day I had to use the bathroom again and the exact same thing happened, when I exited Claudia was outside of the bathroom standing in the hallway. I didn’t say anything and returned to work. She did this again for a full week.
I went to my supervisor and described what was going on and she looked at me and says “How far do you want to take this because we have discussed this behavior with Claudia before and we are going to need proof that’s she doing this”. My supervisor coordinated some recording for 3 weeks and the camera footage clearly showed that Claudia was deliberately following me to the bathroom. The footage also showed that Claudia was not going to the bathroom herself, just following me to the bathroom and standing outside until I came out.
HR got involved and when confronted with her past behavior of following other people to the bathroom, and the new footage, Claudia had no rational explanation for her actions. Claudia was reprimanded to the point of almost being fired and she was placed on probation for 6 full months. Also she has to work with a Counselor to get some clarity of why she does not understand that following adults to bathrooms for no valid reason is unacceptable.
Now she’s very mad and openly hostile to everyone because almost everyone in the department knows exactly what happened. So am I the asshole?
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This is a throw away account I’m male 50’s and my coworker “Claudia” is in her 60’s. This started about 6 weeks ago and ended a few days ago.
I work in a cubicle maze and have little to no privacy when it comes to my comings and goings. We have a central bathroom to get to it we have to walk basically from one end of the maze to the other. Claudia works in the middle part of the maze and she monitors everything and everyone. I went to the bathroom one day and when I exited, Claudia was in the hallway outside where both bathrooms are.
She was just standing there and I walked back to my cube and returned to work. Later on in the same day I had to use the bathroom again and the exact same thing happened, when I exited Claudia was outside of the bathroom standing in the hallway. I didn’t say anything and returned to work. She did this again for a full week.
I went to my supervisor and described what was going on and she looked at me and says “How far do you want to take this because we have discussed this behavior with Claudia before and we are going to need proof that’s she doing this”. My supervisor coordinated some recording for 3 weeks and the camera footage clearly showed that Claudia was deliberately following me to the bathroom. The footage also showed that Claudia was not going to the bathroom herself, just following me to the bathroom and standing outside until I came out.
HR got involved and when confronted with her past behavior of following other people to the bathroom, and the new footage, Claudia had no rational explanation for her actions. Claudia was reprimanded to the point of almost being fired and she was placed on probation for 6 full months. Also she has to work with a Counselor to get some clarity of why she does not understand that following adults to bathrooms for no valid reason is unacceptable.
Now she’s very mad and openly hostile to everyone because almost everyone in the department knows exactly what happened. So am I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I went to my boss about a coworker following me to the bathroom HR got incvolved
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. She created the problem by — essentially — harassing you. You were right to report it.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
>I went to my boss about a coworker following me to the bathroom HR got incvolved
Yeah, no – you’re going to have to do better than that. Please explain exactly why you think there’s anything at all even potentially ethically suspect about your actions.
Unless there’s missing INFO here, there’s no ethical dilemma at all.
NTA and this is some creepy behavior from her. I’m shocked she wasn’t fired.
If she’s lashing out at everyone about it it’s not your fault. I’m sure if she keeps it up she will be out of a job. It’s her behavior that caused the drama, not you speaking up about rightfully being uncomfortable.
You know you’re NTA
What was the point of this post?
Claudia behaving inappropriately, you discussed with HR, found out others thought so too, Claudia was reprimanded.
?
This is pretty self – explanatory — I think you already know you’re NTA. She was harassing you, and you have the right to report.
Every single person in this story is on your side except for the person making everyone uncomfortable. Why are you even posting here?
Why are you asking this? It’s obviously a problem.
NTA
She’s a creep that got caught and is mad at that. Think about this, you went to the bathroom that one time for what ever time period it was, BUT she spent that same time just lurking, and she does it with others and you would assume she needs to use the rest room herself; how much time is she wasting (and not “acceptable wasting” but CREEP LEVEL stuff)
NTA. Actions have consequences.
For some reason it’s creepier that she’s in her 60’s… and are all the people that she follows to the bathroom men? Or does she follow women too? I would confront her and tell her that her attitude will be reciprocated.
YTA for wasting my time with this post.
NTA. If you followed Claudia to the bathroom every time would she be comfortable? It isn’t normal and she needs whatever she is going through.
NTA, that’s weird and she should have to fix this behavior. If she’s retaliating for her own weirdness she’ll just be fired, and everyone will be more comfortable.
wasting everyone’s time with this thread.
NTA- She has a problem and had been warned about it in the past. You are just the latest one to call her out on her bathroom stalking. She only has herself to blame.