My brother was/is that person who is always in trouble. He’s a dick to everyone and he acted out all the time in school. He bullied other kids, made teacher’s lives hell, got suspended multiple times and he got arrested a bunch once he was in high school. He’s still getting arrested now too.
I (16m) was always a couple of grades behind him and always ended up with the same teachers. Those teachers judged me before they even met me. All it took was them knowing they were getting Will’s brother and that was all they needed to decide I was a troublemaker too. It gets to the point where meeting a new (to me) teacher is something I dread because I know they’ll hate me on sight.
My brother never cared and he’d just laugh at me being treated like a criminal because of him. My parents wouldn’t do anything about it. Even when one particular teacher who hated Will, who had been terrorized by Will, terrorized me in return. He failed basically everything I did. He refused to give me the same help as others in my class. And he ignored me for fun stuff. In general he was the biggest hard ass and even if I was as right as other kids he’d find something to correct in an answer I gave. And he always picked on me for the stuff we didn’t know yet and would shame me for it.
My grades have suffered because of it. At the end of 10th grade we got a couple of new teachers who took over from older ones and we’ll have them. So far they’re the only teachers who don’t give me shit and I worry about that when they get to know other teachers more and get told shit about me. Because me and my brother get talked about by the teachers during lunch and outside of school hours.
It took a note from the school basically saying my grades are meh for my parents to take notice and I already resent the hell out of my brother and hope he gets locked up forever. And I feel so let down by my parents. They failed to care. Now they try to lecture me on my grades and I told them they ignored when I tried stuff to them so they should blame themselves and not me since they ignored my calls for them for help. They say it’s not fair and I shouldn’t have expected them to know about all this or to work miracles for me.
But they expect me to not be resentful of everything. While I think I basically got the short end of everything for being my brother’s younger brother.
AITA?
Comments
NTA
Your parents certainly are, though.
My cousin’s and one of my older brothers were known for being stupid and poorly behaved.
Guess who was absolutely adored because she wasn’t anything like them? Me! It wasn’t just gender, my female cousin was 1 grade above me and all the teachers hated her. We were in a class together, they all knew we were related
You have the opportunity to make a different first impression if you want to do so.
I’m not sure what you expect your brother or parents to do to fix his reputation at a school he no longer attends.
Report the teacher that’s objectively punishing you disproportionately. You have options here. Did you tell your parents a teacher was terrorizing you?
NTA, OP, That’s awful how they treated you just because of your bro… But hang in there, remember everyone’s got their own shit going on, yeah? Your smarts’ll shine through.
Your parents suck, but the biggest assholes here are your teachers.
NTA. it’s completely understandable to feel resentful. you’re being punished for things you didn’t do, and your parents didn’t stand up for you when you needed them most. that’s not your fault. you deserve to be seen as your person, not just your brother’s shadow
NTA. Wild how your parents managed to raise both a school menace and a scapegoat, then act surprised you’re pissed about it.
Can you go to another school that your brother doesn’t go to?
Sit your folks down and give them an honest talk. Their failures are causing you real harm to your future but it’s not too late if they support you fully now (let’s be honest, they should have done this as your folks, but the reality is there is no test or licence to pass to be a parent…as long as you know how to breed is all it takes). Be firm. Tell them you need their support now to help you for your future. Don’t be aggressive or rude. Be open and say this is impacting you. If that doesn’t shine a light on it, your options become more difficult to work through this. If you have the confidence, go see the principal yourself and plead your case. But do it without anger as hard as it is. Be factual. Be calm. But have passion in your voice that signals a desire to want to succeed and work hard. Good luck.
NTA, the adults in your life are though. Best advice I can offer is keep plugging along then at 18 disappear on them. Make sure you have your important documents like birth certificate and such.
Yes you are the A.
Imagine getting the bad kid, thinking the next brother is going to be just as bad to find out he is the opposite personality. People hate my brother, but then find out we are nothing alike. Saying your brother’s actions of the past is the reason of your poor grades is just finger pointing. How about doing the work and learning it than blaming others.
You deserved better teachers. NTA. I’m so sorry. Your parents should have listened to you.
In two years, you will be free to move far, far away. Finish school and do the best you can, then make a new start. The past will be behind you so every day going forward will be what you decide to make it. Do not live in the past and do.not.make.excuses when things don’t go your way. Life is not always fair, but you have the same chances as most of us get in life.
NTA
Different scenario, but it could be an option. When I was 17 I hated my school. Stuck with kids I didn’t like and felt dread with the thought of going back to that school the next year. Pushed hard with my mom that I’d drop out before going back there for my last year. Agreed to go to a new school, still sucked cause it’s school, but I made the most of it and didn’t dread the same way.
What reason do you have to go if the school isn’t helping you?
Your brother sucked the energy out of your parent’s, so I understand the resentment. That doesn’t excuse your parent’s though and I’m appalled at your teachers. I’m a teacher and have NEVER assumed the sibling of a troublemaker must also be a troublemaker. I’m so sorry you’re surrounded by such ignorance.
I’d love to tell you to try and work it out with your parents, but the fact that they dismiss your cries for help and take no blame when you called them out tells me it won’t help.
I do recommend reaching out to your school counselor. They may be able to help with the AH teachers’ situation. I’m rooting for you kiddo.
Nta
NTA… it’s really messed up those teachers judged you harshly just because your bro was a pain in their ass. I get why you’re bitter, but taking it out on him and parents won’t fix the problem. Maybe try talking to those instructors and explain how their unfairness affected you? That might open some doors…
You are allowed to ask your teacher’s teacher’s for a 1-1 (or you + teacher + principal) meeting, in which you apologize for the trauma they suffered because of your brother, and to ask them to treat you as your own person. Point out that you already suffer living with your brother at home; being treated as if you behave the way your brother did simply perpetuates the cycle of abuse.