I’m 25(F) Anastasia and I got married to the love of my life 28(M) Elijah 3 years ago, he’s usually very stern and serious around other people and has a really hard time opening up. Elijah had been in the same friend group as my sister in highschool but it was a huge group and they did not interact much which I’m aware of as she would only go hangout with 3-4 people at the time, My sister(29F) became very conservative after highschool for no particular reason, and when I got engaged was constantly arguing with me on how inconsiderate I was to get married before her, though I won’t hate her as it was a family tradition for the eldest to get married first but I really wanted to marry Elijah.
My sister throughout childhood has always berated me for being into my looks, I can understand that as I used to apply some makeup every morning before highschool and loved clothes and shopping, but it came to blows when I finished highschool with a 4.0 gpa and she accused me of hi seducing a teacher for that, this has been a recurring theme in my life but I can see her view as she perceives me as shallow. little context Elijah and I met at a fundraiser from his company and by that point him and my sister were not in touch at all and I did not know him, he was quite serious but amazing, he did not care I loved partying and even did summers as an aerial dancer, he used to bring me large bouquets and takeout every night for the first month of our relationship and when he proposed my sister kept insisting that he get a prenup, which I wouldn’t have cared about as I understood he owned a pretty rich company whilst I was working in sales and then my side fun jobs, Elijah told her to fuck off which caused a fight between me and him and later resolved.
Anyways, this year She got engaged to a guy Nico(38M) they have a 9 year age gap but I think it doesn’t matter as she’s 29 Nico like her is also very conservative and whenever I post stories of me and Elijah going to clubs which we often do together My sister always says she would not disrespect Nico like that ever, like whatever. Nico and I have only met in passing a few times he’s decent looking but too old for me and Elijah is very stern and quiet around other people so he never comments on Nico. I usually get into fights quick especially when Nico discusses the role of a woman, purity culture and how I didn’t invest in my marriage as I partied, Elijah usually says a few words to shut the argument and We both don’t pay mind to it at home.
TWO weeks ago was the engagement party for my sister and Nico, I’m a bridesmaid and my sister began rattling a list of what to do, she told me to dye my hair which has been light naturally blonde since I was a kid and I loved it, She told me to not stand in any pictures during the wedding and when I questioned it she said I knew I was pretty and that’s the only thing about me, I got angry and said I won’t be your bridesmaid, however after consolation from our parents I reluctantly agreed except to her bizarre conditions. The following days I was mostly at her and Nico’s apartment helping her finalize details and such, Nico didn’t have much opinions as he thought it was girlish and childish but wtv, I must’ve mentioned that Elijah was out of country on a business trip and the shocker came 8 days ago when Nico came to my house uninvited, I was still cordial and offered water and stuff and then Nico said he wanted to invite me to his bachelor trip I was confused and asked if he meant Elijah but he said “No, you should come since you’re such a party girl, you’d like my friends they like girls like you”. this floored me, it was so absurd I told him I’m married to Elijah who I love and am more than just a party girl or entertainer and for him to say that in a demeaning manner is horrible. I told him to leave and then I left my sister a voicemail telling her everything and she didn’t reply to anything, I called Elijah after casually telling him what Nico said and Elijah didn’t say much but the next night he was home even though the trip was for 3 more days, Elijah said he doesn’t want me going to the wedding which even I considered.
4 days ago at a family potluck with a few people only I went so I could see my sister and get a reply or anything, the minute I entered everyone looked at me weird and my sister began shouting, my mother said that inviting Nico to the house and wearing slutty clothes to seduce him was horrible. Obliviously I was puzzled I said he was not invited and yes I roamed around in a long t shirt and underwear but when I saw him I put on shorts which is beside the point, I told them what Nico had said and they all said I was in the wrong for seducing him and how he’s an almost 40 year old guy and he would know better. After this I came home to Elijah who got really angry and the next day without my knowledge he texted me that he was getting drinks after work which was fine but 4 hours in I got a frantic call from my sister about how Elijah was punching Nico at a bar as apparently Nico had a picture of me changing probably when I thought no one was watching when I helped my sister as a bridesmaid, this disturbed me a lot and made me very uneasy, Elijah basically said no way in hell we’re going to the wedding and my entire family thinks I ruined the wedding and seduced Nico because I was clearly trying to suggest stuff…Now I’m questioning if i was unknowingly? AITA?
Comments
Wow! If what your saying is true….that Nico guy is very weird and your sister is too. I woud not go to the wedding. Doesnt seem like you did anything wrong. Those are the type of family members i wouldnt talk to or interact with and probably block on socials indefinetly.
Kid learn to use paragraphs. Wait you got married at 22 Arranged marriage?
Your sister is a shithead. Your life moves on your timeline not hers. End of discussion. You got married first? Oh well boo hoo. I dont know why people even entertain this nonsense. Should have told her to kiss your ass.
NTA. Your sister sounds jealous and utterly insufferable.
“Plus, they say I cant right! Thats obliviously untrue as you can see!”
YTA for this post alone. The rest… probably YTA.
Nta your family is trash. It’s not your fault your family is trash it happens. Friends are family you pick. Cut them all off and go live your happily ever after with your badass husband.
nah you ain’t the AH your sister and her stupid fiancé are to blame too bad your family isn’t supporting you otherwise hats off to Elijah
Whoa, learn to use paragraphs and spaces.
Tell your sister that I also got accidentally seduced. Man, you and Robert Palmer…
Can’t give you any opinion on the problem. Mainly because I couldn’t read through all of your extraneous bs to find out what the “problem” is.
Mostly it reads like a set-up: you’re so pretty, you’re so out-going, sister’s rich classmate fell madly in love with you. Blah, blah, blah.
NTA but you will be if you attend this wedding. I don’t normally tell people to do what their husbands tell them to do, but yours is completely right, this Nico guy is bad and your sister is insane with jealousy, and your parents are on their side not yours.
I’m proud of your husband for believing you about everything, not blaming you, and coming home to protect you. Now is one of those times where you have to decide where your loyalty lies, is it with your horrible family or your husband?
How does he say you invited him over? If you had texted or called him, that info would surely be accessible so he could show it as proof. If you dont have cameras, ask if a neighbor does, maybe their camera caught something. But none of this is your fault. If he found you appealing for just being yourself, that’s doesn’t make you at fault, and a man is supposed to exercise self control, especially if he is committed to someone else. Find out if you can legally get hold of whatever phone, text, or social media records there are of communications between you two. Have him say exactly when and how you supposedly invited him, and if he insists he deleted them because they were filthy, get those records of the dates and time and prove that there was no such invitation from you.
Yet another fanfiction about the pretty, wonderful sister who has it all and is such a good person with such a supportive partner being maligned and beleaguered by her lesser, more jealous sister for no reason. This trope is old.
Your sister is an idiot don’t go to the wedding. You have a husband and your own life to leave. I would tell all of them to kiss my behind but thats just me.
Paragraphs
I like Elijah
I do not like the rest of your family, give them a wide berth for the rest of your life
NTA
Paragraphs….holy fuk
Make a police report. Taking pictures of you half naked without your consent is a crime. Cut off your toxic family.
NTAH 100%
It’s best to drop out of the wedding and go low contact with your delusional/bully of a sister.
Is the rest of your family as conservative as your sister or do they really believe that you were purposefully seducing an almost middle aged man?
Record and save all texts and phone calls, and in person conversations from this guy b and your sister from now on, as well as their supporters, so you can prove or disprove when needed.
This reminds me of a story. There was once a guy called paragraph and he died. The end.
That’s one fucked up story. I think I would avoid your sister and her husband for a long time. NTA.
Let me guess… your family is part of a fundamentalist religion or cult.
YTA. For forcing us and your creative writing teacher to read this. Next time just ask Chat GPT to come up with something. At least it will be readable.
You should not see these people again let alone for the wedding. This is horrible.
Cut your family off permanently
I’m just here to say, you got a man that don’t play about you girl. I love that for you.
This seems very evangelical or Mormon coded.NTA if all this is true.
NTA. WTF your family are delulu and Nico is a pervert and a creep.
Your sister is pathetic.
Definitely do not go to the wedding.
Tell your extended family exactly why.
Go LC with your family: that sounds toxic.
Ps to add. Your husband is awesome