So I ( 17f) have three siblings, when my mother got pregnant with my oldest sibling, my parents were literally homeless. They preceded over the next seven years to have the my older sister, me and my little sister. They never escaped poverty. They’ve never worked and rely on government payments which are very low. My siblings and I were not allowed to go to school, we were ” homeschooled ” which just means we were taught the absolute minimum. We learnt to read ( my little sister couldn’t read until she was 13) we learnt to write and we learnt to do basic maths. I didn’t get to interact with people so I never had a single friend, I also have a speech impediment that was never addressed and I hope to one day get speech therapy for. My dad says his biggest regret is not having more kids. We were homeless for nearly a year when I was 15-16, then we moved into a mobile home which we rent. Now I am nearly 18 years old and I am expected to get a job ( I’ve worked before but it’s different as an adult) I’m expected to pay for everything, and the idea is that I should leave home as soon as possible. I feel like I didn’t get a fair chance and today I told my mother outright that she was stupid and that her and my father were to poor and thick to buy condoms and that I deserved better and didn’t ask to be here. AITA?
AITA For saying calling my mother stupid for having kids?
r/AITAH
Comments
Your NTAsome people don’t see a bad situation and make it worse.
Not wrong for being angry. Just get out and never look back.
Learned. And it’s just math not maths. Sorry your parents are idiots. Start going to the library and see if there’s any educational opportunities available for you. Learning on your own is awesome
Name calling is always an AH move. You are entitled to your opinion, but shouting it at your mother during a fight is not a great idea.
You absolutely deserved better than your described childhood. I’m not making excuses, but extreme poverty is very hard/impossible to break out of. I feel for all of you.
NTA. Like the old saying goes, “life’s not fair.”
They most likely had kids to increase their assistance. Now that you are 18, the assistance for you has ended. Your parents are incredibly selfish and did you a great disservice. There is help available to you but you will need to research to find it. Look for outreach programs. A local church may be able to help you find resources too. You can break the cycle but it will take work on your part. Best of luck to you.
I think you are absolutely right about your parents being stupid. Because they are. They have deprived you of many opportunities. Living on benefits should be for those who, because of circumstances beyond their control, cannot support themselves. Not for the lazy. Sorry, but your parents sound lazy too. Some people need support, but not ablebodied people who have the chance of working. Ok, enough of the rant. I do not want to sound like some rightwinger bashing the poor, because I am more of a leftie.
Go and ask your local council about services you could be eligible for. Your lack of schooling can be remedied, I believe. I do not live in the UK, so my knowledge is lacking on that. (Did live there ar one time for a while, but it was a long time ago.) Like someone suggested, go to the library. They usually know a lot about education resources. And ask them to recommended reading materials to increase you general or special knowledge. See if there are trade schools you could go to. As soon as you earn enough, get out and live your life. I suggest you stay in touch, no need to burn any bridges, especially with your siblings, as one day they may need your help to get out of the cycle of ignorance your parents are so keen to stay on. You sound quite smart, so go and do whatever you can to better yourself. Do not dwell on the negative, focus on what you can achieve and keep your eyes on the prize.
NSPCC Helpline:
You can contact the NSPCC Helpline at 0808 800 5000 or [email protected] to report concerns and get advice.
Local Authority:
Contact your local council’s children’s social care team if you are worried about a child’s safety.
Police:
If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
Childline:
For children and young people needing to talk to someone urgently, Childline is available online or at 0800 1111.
The further education could mean a vocational school;
Here’s a breakdown:
Apprenticeships:
These combine work experience with formal training, usually leading to an NVQ or other qualification. They are available for various trades like electrician, plumber, carpenter, and more.
NVQs (National Vocational Qualifications):
These are work-based qualifications that assess your competence in a specific job role.
T Levels:
These are relatively new, two-year technical qualifications that include a substantial industry placement.
Where to find vocational training:
FE Colleges:
Many colleges offer a wide range of vocational courses, including apprenticeships and other training programs. Cardiff and Vale College (CAVC) is an example of a large FE college with extensive vocational training options.
Training Providers:
Organizations like TradesAcademy.UK provide specialized training in specific trades.
Industry Bodies:
Organizations like the Institute of the Motor Industry may also offer training or guidance on specific trades.
Government-Funded Programs:
Some vocational training programs are funded by the government, making them free or low-cost.
Get more info on Wikipedia ”Category:Vocational education in the United Kingdom”
Sounds like your parents are taking child benefits as a living way…. literally pack your bags and flip a bird and walk away…. when I was 18-19 years old on social pay in Denmark I got birth control paid by the public…. as I said “you rather wanna pay for a child/person 18 years or give me birth control” they provided me birth control without even lifting an eyebrow after I argument that way….
I am so happy to see that you are Aware of the life circumstances you have, and that you are trying to fight it.
Also, sad to see that parents are so lazy, selfish and self centered and that they are ready to ruin their kids’ lives just so they wouldn’t have to change anything.
NTA for saying that to your mom. You would be TA if she even a bit tried to give you better life, failed, and then you say something like this. But from what I can see, your parents never gave anything but bare minimum to you and your sisters.
You are still very young, and already very smart. Please, take care of yourself. Nowadays you don’t need a degree, just a set of skills. You have so many things available for you to learn, everything is on the internet nowadays. Only if you want, you can learn and become a polyglot, or a programmer, or a digital marketer such as media buyer, or a graphic designer. Without college, you can’t be a doctor, but who cares, you can still make the best out of your life with just a bit of willpower, discipline and internet access. And you still have so much time!!!
I am really cheering for you to take the next year or two and learn more, focus more and restart your life in a way that you deserve, and in a way your parents were never capable of giving you!!!
NTA – your parents should have never gotten kids. No school is bad. It sucks that it is legal.
Move out and don’t look back. You might try to educate yourself and get your diploma.
Report them to CPS. If you’re in the UK and officials aren’t happy with your level of education, they can prosecute your parents for child neglect. NTA
NTA you’re right. They are stupid