My aunt (27 f) has a 5 year old yorkie. When she moved in with me (17 f) and my mother, she brought her son and her yorkie along with her. She said in light hearted banter that since she had her son she hasn’t really been giving her dog (scruffy) much attention. So naturally, being a loner, and sort of keeping to myself, I had a lot of time and attention to give to Scruffy. We bonded, she felt like my own dog. I feed her, i walk her, i make sure she’s groomed.
Today I come home from school and she didn’t run to me like usual, so I look around for about five minutes and start to get anxious since she’s not coming to my calls. My mother, aunt and cousin come home from somewhere, and I ask if they’ve seen her since this morning, and they said she ran out of the house when they left. I asked why nobody went after her, and they said they called her but she continued to run away. And then my aunt proceeded to say that if she comes back she comes back, if she doesn’t oh well.
I said if that’s her opinion on something she’s meant to care for, then she doesn’t deserve a pet. And she shouldn’t have ever got her if she cares that little. Now they’re making me out to be disrespectful.
AITA?
Edit: Out of slight fear family will see this. I will be blurring out the dog’s name.
Other things to mention: Scruffy has no collar. She has a blue collar that is ten times too big for her, with no tag. She can easily slip her collar (as she’s done plenty of times lol) So if someone finds her they have no way of knowing where she came from. That’s where a lot of my anxiety comes from. She knows her way home since she’s run out before, but this is the longest she’s been out. I’m worried sick. We live in a nice neighborhood, but Scruffy is an obviously expensive and well taken care of dog. She’s also very friendly. I don’t doubt someone would take her in, assuming she was a stray or maybe abandoned. I will update if she comes home, but I’m honestly so shaken with anger and anxiety I don’t have much energy to add anything else.
Update: I appreciate all the kind words (and not so kind words regarding my aunt lol). Scruffy is back. It felt like I could finally breathe hearing her claws on the hardwood floors. Thank you all for your support and allowing me to vent, and also confirming that i’m not crazy. haha.
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My aunt (27 f) has a 5 year old yorkie. When she moved in with me (17 f) and my mother, she brought her son and her yorkie along with her. She said in light hearted banter that since she had her son she hasn’t really been giving her dog (amor) much attention. So naturally, being a loner, and sort of keeping to myself, I had a lot of time and attention to give to Amor. We bonded, she felt like my own dog. I feed her, i walk her, i make sure she’s groomed.
Today I come home from school and she didn’t run to me like usual, so I look around for about five minutes and start to get anxious since she’s not coming to my calls. My mother, aunt and cousin come home from somewhere, and I ask if they’ve seen her since this morning, and they said she ran out of the house when they left. I asked why nobody went after her, and they said they called her but she continued to run away. And then my aunt proceeded to say that if she comes back she comes back, if she doesn’t oh well.
I said if that’s her opinion on something she’s meant to care for, then she doesn’t deserve a pet. And she shouldn’t have ever got her if she cares that little. Now they’re making me out to be disrespectful.
AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I can understand that what I said was rude. And because Amor is not my dog I don’t have as much say as to what happens to her, despite how much I take care of her.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Wow.
NTA. You sound like the most responsible person in the house. it’s a shame the way some people treat their pets. Hope Amor comes home.
NTA I would have done the same. I hope you find Amor soon
I bet they gave her away or “dropped” her somewhere. Keep checking with your local animal control.
NTA. The few times my dog ran out of the house (and it’s been years since she’s done this) nothing else happened until we re-acquired her. If my pet were out of the house, I’d be out of my mind with worry until they were back.
YTA, but you’re not wrong.
Your aunt clearly doesn’t care too much about the dog so ask her if you can have it. Though you’ve definitely soured the relationship.
Apologize and ask her if she would let you have ownership of the dog, assuming you have the means.
NTA, for sure.
seems like you are more responsible and mature than your aunt. She truly shouldn’t have a pet. If she ever Plans to adopt a new one I would even go that far to inform local shelters about what she did…
so sad for the yorkie, what a luck that he has you at least…
NTA. Sounds like your aunt’s being pretty neglectful with Amor/Scruffy, and I get why you’d be upset. Her saying “if she comes back, she comes back” is cold, and you’re just pointing out she shouldn’t have a pet if she doesn’t care.
Calling you disrespectful seems a bit harsh, you were just being honest. Maybe next time try talking to her more calmly, but you’re not wrong here.
PS: Is that really the pet’s name? Just saying, does she not even care enough to give it a proper name? ‘Amor’ means ‘love’ in a few Romance languages, you know.
PPS You changed it again, I guess you aren’t using the real name.
No wonder your aunt is a single mom.
Absolutely NTA. You called your aunt out good and proper, and any animal enthusiast would agree with you 100% Some people don’t deserve the love of a good dog or cat, and your aunt is one of them. Dogs and cats are a life-time (their life-time, not ours) commitment, and if you’re not prepared for that, DON’T BUY A PET, get a stuffed plushie.
Nope, fuck your aunt.
I’m not saying do it, but things would have certainly gotten physical and I would have probably been arrested.
NTA
I hope you find YOUR DOG.
I wouldnt speak to your aunt again.
Not even a question. Your Aunt does NOT deserve ANY pet, and while yes, an adorable well groomed yorkie will likely be rescued and/or taken in, the fact remains that she would be terrified and missing her people. I’m sorry, I’m sure your Aunt has redeeming qualities, but people with so little regard for animal life disgust me.
NTA I wouldn’t apologize for speaking the truth.
You are absolutely NTA, and it’s a miracle she’s kept her son alive this long. Calling her out for being an irresponsible pet owner is not disrespectful, it’s honorable. Don’t let them get to you.
Go outside and call for the Yorkie. Bring a crinkly bag of treats. Make lots of noise. If it starts to get dark and she’s not home, leave out some dirty laundry for her to find. She might nest in it until morning.
Call every local shelter, reach out to neighbors and groups like NextDoor and Facebook. Is she microchipped? That will also help bring her home.
I’m glad Scruffy is back. If you have a few extra dollars or can talk the “adults” into it a microchip is a great help for Scruffy’s future adventures
At this point he sounds like your dog and she just doesn’t care. You weren’t disrespectful for stating your valid opinion, NTA.