So i’ve been going to this gym near my apartment for like 6 months now. I mind my business, wear my headphones, don’t talk to anyone. But this one girl – who i’ve seen around but never really spoken to – came up to me last week while i was stretching and said something like “you should tone it down, not everyone wants to compete with that.” I was like “what?” and she goes “you get so much attention in here and it makes it hard for the rest of us.”
And i was just… stunned. Like i’m literally wearing a hoodie and biker shorts, hair in a bun. I’m not walking around in a sports bra and booty shorts (not that it would matter if i was). I just laughed a little and said “that’s not my fault” and she got this look on her face like i insulted her whole family.
Since then i’ve noticed a few other girls giving me dirty looks or whispering and i’m wondering if she said something. Now i’m questioning if maybe i should have said it differently or handled it better.
AITA for not coddling her insecurity?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team.
So i’ve been going to this gym near my apartment for like 6 months now. I mind my business, wear my headphones, don’t talk to anyone. But this one girl – who i’ve seen around but never really spoken to – came up to me last week while i was stretching and said something like “you should tone it down, not everyone wants to compete with that.” I was like “what?” and she goes “you get so much attention in here and it makes it hard for the rest of us.”
And i was just… stunned. Like i’m literally wearing a hoodie and biker shorts, hair in a bun. I’m not walking around in a sports bra and booty shorts (not that it would matter if i was). I just laughed a little and said “that’s not my fault” and she got this look on her face like i insulted her whole family.
Since then i’ve noticed a few other girls giving me dirty looks or whispering and i’m wondering if she said something. Now i’m questioning if maybe i should have said it differently or handled it better.
AITA for not coddling her insecurity?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told another girl at the gym that it’s not my fault after she made a comment about me getting too mcuh attention. I didn’t sugarcoat it or try to comfort her feelings, i just stated it how i saw it, that’s it. And why i might be the asshole, i guess bc i didn’t try to be empathetic toward whatever insecurity she was dealing with.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
> not everyone wants to compete with that
“So don’t.”
NTA – You should be an inspiration, not a threat.
NTA
you literally can’t control who stares…
Do your workout and ignore the haters
They are just insecure and going to the gym for the wrong reasons
NTA. You’re minding your own business. She should, too.
INFO: Are you assuming that the woman who spoke to you did it because you’re so attractive? You say “I mind my business, wear my headphones, don’t talk to anyone,” so why are you noticing anyone whispering and assuming it’s about you?
Lol its a gym not a night club. If she wants attention she’s in the wrong place. Nta.
So this girl is saying she goes to the gym to get ogled. ALLRIGHT GUYS, you heard her. Women at the gym want to be stared at! (/s)
NTA – why is a gym some sort of “hunting ground” for that girl anyway? A gym for working out
She thinks is a club and a place to meet people lol…
YTA for making up stories to attract dms from thirsty guys who click on your profile and realize you have an OF account.
NTA. Nobody should be going to the gym with the mindset of “let me get some attention.” Your head is in the right place. Ignore the haters
NTA. What is with grown women acting like they’re in a high school drama. It’s a friggin gym!
People shouldn’t hate you because you’re beautiful! Can’t they see how you suffer?
YTA for this made up story. You’re not actually the Main Character.
Ask these ladies for their recommendations for your workout attire.
I must be going to the wrong gym, cuz I have never seen this kind of interaction when I go – yet it’s the only kind of interaction other gym-goers seem to post about. NTA. She should be focusing on her own body. That’s literally what the gym is for.
INFO: did this really happen or are you just another OF “model” disguising a made up story as a way to get more traffic to your page?
Check her page if u don’t believe me. Why does a 30min old account need to link to an insta?
Is this the shit women have to deal with other women? Lmao. Petty as bs.
NTA. I don’t look at females at the gym. I throw my earphones in and zone into my workout. Ain’t nobody gonna accuse me of perving over some gym “look at me” type. I think most dudes have seen enough “reaction” videos of women calling dudes out for looking in their general direction to just keep their eyes to themselves. Maybe I’m wrong. That woman doesnt seem to realize that the gym isn’t the place to look for validation.
Wow. I would have burst out laughing. I’m sorry but what? I’d have to ask her what she’s competing in and if there’s a prize. And ask her if she could please tone it up because you hate the attention and you’d appreciate it if she could get these guys to stop staring at you.
You said you were minding your own business. So why do you care?
NTA. Tell those slackers to try harder.
Nope, she got what she came for.
Make a custom hoodie that says “GET A LIFE” in big letters on the back.