I’m 26F married to a 31M. We got married this year. We both get along with each other’s families. His side is very close and always together; mine is more quiet and keeps to ourselves.
I grew up watching my older sister (she’s 7 years older) handle her in-laws. She got along with them but didn’t go over all the time or one-on-one. That always felt normal to me.
I like my MIL a lot. In the summer I’d even hang at their place until my husband got off work.
Now it’s football season. The last two Sundays my family had plans (one was a welcome-home + baby-girl reveal for my sister). He didn’t want to go. He also hasn’t been to my parents’ house since early August. Today i let him know that my parent were inviting us over tomorrow, he complained and said omg again another sunday why do they always do it on a sunday (my dads home on sundays & so is he lol). I brushed it off.
Today he said we’d go to his parents later. He took a nap, woke up at 8 p.m., and said “let’s go.” I’m a middle school teacher and was lesson planning. I didn’t feel like going that late.
He blew up. He said I had to come, that it was disrespectful because his parents just got back from a week-long trip. Then he said he’d divorce me if I didn’t go. I still said no. He left and told me to pack my stuff.
Am i the asshole should i have just gone and saved everything or is he crazy?
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I’m 26F married to a 31M. We got married this year. We both get along with each other’s families. His side is very close and always together; mine is more quiet and keeps to ourselves.
I grew up watching my older sister (she’s 7 years older) handle her in-laws. She got along with them but didn’t go over all the time or one-on-one. That always felt normal to me.
I like my MIL a lot. In the summer I’d even hang at their place until my husband got off work.
Now it’s football season. The last two Sundays my family had plans (one was a welcome-home + baby-girl reveal for my sister). He didn’t want to go. He also hasn’t been to my parents’ house since early August. Today i let him know that my parent were inviting us over tomorrow, he complained and said omg again another sunday why do they always do it on a sunday (my dads home on sundays & so is he lol). I brushed it off.
Today he said we’d go to his parents later. He took a nap, woke up at 8 p.m., and said “let’s go.” I’m a middle school teacher and was lesson planning. I didn’t feel like going that late.
He blew up. He said I had to come, that it was disrespectful because his parents just got back from a week-long trip. Then he said he’d divorce me if I didn’t go. I still said no. He left and told me to pack my stuff.
Am i the asshole should i have just gone and saved everything or is he crazy?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I didnt go to my in laws house i refused which caused a huge fight between me and my husband. 2. I just refused to go to my in laws house after they got back from a trip, i refused and my husband said he was gonna divorce me and i still didnt go
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, and he sounds manipulative. This is only going to escalate.
His reaction seems rather extreme. Especially since the task you were tackling was work related. O.o
NTA.
You are not obligated to visit anyone’s house when you don’t feel up to it, especially late at night after a full day of work. Your husband’s reaction is extreme and controlling, threatening divorce and telling you to pack your stuff over a reasonable boundary is not acceptable. Setting limits on your own time does not make you disrespectful and his response is the problem here.
NTA but he certainly is, personally I’d be gone by the time he got back. Let him get away once and he’ll always use that threat against you.
Nta. Okay peace dude I’ll file I don’t need to threatened with divorce because I won’t obey.
NTA, an argument over something like this is one thing, going nuclear and threatening divorce? Yeah, no.
NTA don’t let him guilt trip you or make you feel bad.
Can you get the place re-keyed while he’s at his mommy and daddy’s home? NTA
I would let him pack
This makes no sense. He doesn’t want to go to your parents tomorrow but you HAVE to go to his tonight?? Or he is divorcing you???
Why are you the one who has to pack?
Definitely NTA. My mom is a teacher and I know how much work that is; the fact that you are trying to do your job and he isn’t respecting that is a huge red flag. Also 8pm ??? That’s like almost bedtime. Number 1 why is he napping until that late and number 2 why are you going over there that late? You are so not in the wrong.
Updateme
Big red flag. Tell his parents about it. If they agree with him, then it’s time to gtfo. Don’t wait.