I (28F) recently declined to attend my sister’s (32F) wedding because of her very strict dress code, and now my entire family is upset with me.
My sister is having a black-tie wedding and required all guests to wear specific colors — black, white, or beige only. I was totally fine with that until she told me I had to wear a beige dress because “black and white are for VIPs only,” and she didn’t want “too many people in black or white in the photos.”
I explained that beige completely washes me out, and I’d prefer to wear black or even navy if that was okay. She flat-out refused and said that if I didn’t like it, I didn’t have to come. So… I didn’t.
Now, she’s angry and saying I made her wedding all about myself, and my mom says I’m being petty and disrespectful. But I genuinely didn’t want to look and feel uncomfortable all day, especially in photos that will be around forever.
So… AITA?
Comments
NTA, but your sister (and mom for that matter too) sure seems to be an AH
NTA. Since a sister is not considered a VIP at the wedding, she shouldn’t even miss you. It isn’t about the color, it is about the blatant disrespect.
I was about to say YTA, it’s beige, you could always add bright necklace and earrings but then I read the bit about VIPs, a sister isn’t a VIP??? NTA
Not the asshole, honestly.
You didn’t throw a tantrum or show up in hot pink just to make a point , you literally followed her instructions: if you don’t like it, don’t come. You just… took her at her word.
Also, beige is nobody’s friend unless you’re one of like five skin tones that it actually flatters. Feeling uncomfortable and looking like a walking ghost in wedding pics forever? Nah.
She made her dress code weirdly exclusionary, and you respected her wishes by stepping back. That’s not being petty , that’s having boundaries.
I’m torn between NAH and NTA.
Your reasoning is valid, but your sister and her partner are well within their rights to make the wedding how they want it. It’s their wedding, so they get to decide how things will be. You do not have to accept their invitation.
That being said, how on earth is a sister NOT considered a VIP?? Pretty nuts, if you ask me.
NTA, but I’d question your values and priorities. As long as the outfit covers my genitals, I’d wear rainbow and tassles to my sister’s wedding. It’s her wedding day; feeling you’d be “washed out” in beige seems rather marginal.
NTA, she basically said your weren’t a VIP – you are her sister for godsake. She even told you if you didn’t like it you didn’t have to come. She FAFO and then got mad about it when you didn’t come. You did yourself a favor. My sisters wouldn’t be like this to me but I am outraged on your behalf that your family is taking your sister’s side. You set a boundary and are being dragged bc you didn’t want to cross that boundary of being uncomfortable and disrespected. NTA but your sister is.
Weddings are supposed to be a celebration of love and commitment. It seems like everyone has forgotten that. This controlling shit would make me stay home, too.
She gave you a choice to not attend. You took that choice. NTA.
You literally followed her instructions: ‘If you don’t like it, don’t come.’ And now she’s mad you listened? 😂 NTA. It’s wild how some brides treat weddings like a dictatorship and then act shocked when people politely opt out.
NTA. Your sister told you not to come, so you didn’t. It’s on her.
NTA. Anyone who mandates what their guest are wearing outside the regular only the bride wears white aspect are asking for people to turn them down.
YTA – she’s the asshole too but if I was your mum I’d be mad at both of you. She’s probably told your sister she’s disappointed in her too. It was a beige dress, it’s not that big of a deal, just wear it. For women who are 28 and 32 you’re both acting like teenagers.
It is an INVITATION, not a command performance. It is a WEDDING, not a court appearance. It is only becoming a bug deal because the sister and mom are msking it one. The poster can just say “sorry, can’t make it” and call it a day.
NTA. She tried to bully you and you called her bluff using malicious compliance and now she’s butthurt. I can’t blame you for it either because I know that had to hurt coming from your own sibling. Honestly, you’re a better person than I am because I would’ve went and showed up in fire engine red just to make a point.
Come on now how would a couple hours in a beige dress? Do that much harm to your Watch outlook compared to your sister‘s happiness yes I think you are asshole. I’m going to a wedding where all the guests are to wear black and the immediate family is wearing different colors, but you come on now that was just petty
So other women, the VIPs, were supposed to wear white? It that a no-no at weddings anyway? I would feel horrible wearing beige and standing out as less than important, at my own sister‘s wedding especially.
You made The correct call. Was she always the golden child?
IF true??
Tell your mum to “wind her neck in”. If a SISTER isn’t VIP, then you DON’T need to be there.
Sounds like a shit do anyway. I, personally, was done taking orders on my attire when I left school, and I would think that’s the same for most people.
It seems that there may be more history between OP and her sister than just this incident. While NTA, and I think your sister is somewhat unreasonable, I would wear a beige dress to make her happy on her special day.
Sorry sis, but aaaaall the background characters are wearing beige so they just fade into the, you know background
you’re not the AH here and right not to go as you were uncomfortable. I don’t understand how your sister didn’t considered you a VIP, but another number. Sis was more concerned with the overall image of wedding rather than the nuptials. Stick to your guns, tell them to drop it move on as you have and minimize it the way she did you.
The issue isn’t the dress, it’s the you aren’t considering VIP. NTA.
NTA – being beige at a wedding and in life are two very different things. Declining to look like a sad breadstick in photos is not a crime.
NTAH but playing the devil’s advocate, your sister will forever have the memory of you not attending her wedding because you chose not to wear beige. You made the final move.
I know others will disagree with my assessment, but that’s a fact.
NTA. I would never wear beige. Nope.
NTA. Sister is. Sounds like she deliberately wanted you to look washed out. How is a sister not VIP to her? Ugh. I’m sorry your sister is an AH to you.
Kinda hard to say, I would say instinctively YTA for not attending the wedding just because you would look washed out. Accessorise to offset the colour or something lots you can do to minimise the impact.
As for the VIP part a lot of people are commenting on I would say I was not a ‘VIP’ at my sisters wedding, probably one rung down from that, front row in the ceremony, not at the head table for the meal, asked to stay behind for the individual/family photos but not always at the front. The VIPs were my parents, BILs parents, and their three kids. Whether or not she was the AH for not counting you as a VIP probably depends who the VIPs were
I can’t wear beige either, I completely understand you. NTA
You’re not a VIP? F her. She’s sounds insanely entitled.
Not the asshole. She literally told you not to come if you didn’t like the dress code and then got mad when you took her at her word? That’s not a boundary, that’s a power trip. If wearing beige makes you feel uncomfortable and unconfident, why would you spend an entire day (and show up in permanent photos) just to appease her aesthetic? Weddings are important, but so is basic respect.
Also reserving black and white for “VIPs only”? Girl, it’s not the Met Gala, it’s a wedding.
Her poor husband.
I’m never sure if any post here is actually true, but if it is then both you and your sister are TA. Her for having such a controlling dress code, you for not sucking it up anyway rather than starting (or continuing?) a family feud.
I would think that direct family would automatically qualify as VIP unless you always had a shitty bond. In that case you shouldn’t have to feel bad about skipping anyway. The fact that she doesn’t consider you as important enough in her life to allow you to wear her VIP colors is very low of her.
If it was just a friend, or if everyone including VIP is supposed to wear beige, I would say don’t make it about you, wear that hideous color. At least you wouldn’t be the only person who looks washed out because beige looks horrible on most people. Just pity the photographer who has to make sure that it doesn’t look in the pictures like the wedding was attended by corpses. It’s because it’s too close to the color of skin and because of that lacks contrast, and when clothes don’t give contrast it makes people look washed out, pale, flat. Only dark skinned people can truly rock that color because it contrasts.
But it’s not just a friend. It’s your damn sister. And it’s not that beige is the only option. It’s the VIP comment that makes my mouth drop. You’re NTA. She clearly doesn’t see you as someone important in her life. She gave you the option to skip. You did. If she really really wanted you to be there she shouldn’t have said that if you don’t agree with the dress code you can stay home. If she really values your bond, she would have said that you are VIP enough to wear black.
NTA. Your comfort matters too. It’s her wedding, yes, but a color shouldn’t be more important than having her sister there. Family should care more about your presence than your outfit.
Yeah it was the VIP bit that tipped me over to firmly NTA. I bet hardly anyone wears beige, so few look good in it, and it’s not like there’s a lot of options in that color in stores.
Anyone complaining about you not going, just tell them you’re doing as you were told, but not to worry, you’ll go to the next one where there’s hopefully a better color scheme.
INFO: who exactly was classed as a VIP?
NTA. It’s not the beige, it’s not you being difficult about the beige, it’s the “VIP”nonsense that has created this entire issue. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this childish behaviour.
I’m getting sick to death of all these unhinged situations I’m hearing about within families that are completely unnecessary, and as a result leave another family member in a bizarre position where they have to try to interpret said bizarreness and navigate insane drama that just isn’t warranted. If you have a problem, just name it. Just talk about it. The state of the world just doesn’t allow space for BS like “you can only wear beige because you’re not a VIP at my wedding”. Grow up.
Your sister is the as*hole for not considering you a VIP
This is what you tell them. Since a SISTER isn’t a VIP then obviously you were not necessity to be at the wedding. Further the fact that she wanted you in something that made you uncomfortable there was no point in attending something while uncomfortable since you weren’t considered important for the wedding.
At this point screw’m and show them what petty is, and you can always remind mother and sister that they don’t have to interact with you anymore since obviously your not important.
Tell your family that she told you not to come, so you didn’t. You just followed her instructions and she’s the ah for telling you, you weren’t a VIP.
NTA. It wasn’t the dress code of beige – it was the insulting behavior of telling you that you aren’t a VIP with the caveat of “unless black and white were for the wedding party” but either way, your sister is quite the control freak. This is one of the times when you simply tell people you will catch her next wedding (if they ask for details, explain it to them slow – she’ might be pretty, but her spouse is going to get as sick of her rude controlling nature just like you are, and your wedding gift of a coupon for a good divorce lawyer is going to end up being the best gift ever), and peace out of the conversations.
You both suck. Her for saying you aren’t a VIP, and you for seriously pretending this is about the color of the dress and not her words
NTA she knows you don’t look good in that colour and that’s why she told you to wear it is my guess.
NTA they made you a second class guest at your own sisters wedding?
I have some amazing friends but my family will be correctly honoured at my wedding as they are why I am who I am.
ESH. Sounds like your sister doesn’t like you much and tried to convey that through colors for VIP. But missing a sibling’s wedding just because you don’t like beige is just ridiculous. What a happy family… 🤷♀️
I was thinking ESH until I saw “VIPs wear Black and white you wear beige .” Then it became firm NTA
Only VIPs need to attend the wedding , it shouldn’t have been a big deal if a non-VIP didn’t show.
NTA. It’s not about the color. It’s about the control. Why do brides think they get to tell people who aren’t even in the wedding party what to wear? If I were in OP’s position, I would have been sorely tempted to show up in some brightly colored hoochie mama dress. You took the high road by declining.
The wedding wasn’t about you. It was about them celebrating their love. Couldn’t you have worn beige just for one day? I think it’s sad that you couldn’t have sucked it up for one day. Now, you’ll have to live with hurting your sister’s feelings for the rest of your life. She won’t forget it, and neither will you. Your behavior was very childish. “If I don’t get my way, I’ll just stay home! My absence will get the attention I want.”
So, who were the vip members of this production? This color controlling behavior speaks volumes about the bride. You did well to stay home.
She literally ordered you not to go to her wedding, and now she’s mad that you followed her instructions. SMH
NTA for standing up to yer sis’s disrespectful choice in wedding colors, especially when she treated you like a 2nd-class citizen. (Gosh darn it.) I am baffled though, why would a sister be considered less important than some VIPs? This wedding planner seems awfully cruel, no kidding! All the OP really needed was love and support from her family.
NTA. Your not a VIP guest. It was reasonable to think you wouldn’t be missed.
I’d have been more upset about not being a “ VIP” at my own sister’s wedding than the color but damn.
NTA. Wedding invitations aren’t summonses. As long as you don’t make a scene or throw a tantrum, you can decide not to go for any reason you choose.
I honestly don’t really know when weddings started to look like theatre plays, everyone wearing a certain costume and complying with a given script or function.
Dude, you’re getting married, you should be happy to celebrate with your loved ones, no matter what the fuck they wear (I can understand respect the not wearing white rule, but I think that should suffice).
NTA. Fuck her.
NTA. That’s the most ridiculous thing, of course all the women would wear a black dress because they shouldn’t wear white to s wedding and the number of beige cocktail dresses or other black tie dresses they would own would be 0 and very few for sale because it’s a stupid color for a dressy dress. And if there are only 3 colors on your palette then yeah, everyone will be wearing them in the pictures. But if everyone was requested to wear beige that would be one thing but to find out that your own sister doesn’t consider you a VIP that’s a no from me. Save yourself the hassle and money and book a spa treatment that day, you’ll be much more relaxed.
NTA, I would have assumed only those worthy of wearing black or white would have been missed if they weren’t there
NTA. Your sister showed you how much you mean to her so you complied with her instructions. Part of me wonders if you were told to wear beige because she didn’t want you to upstage her. Which you did anyway by not showing up. Which is why she is so mad. I’ve always wondered when brides dictate clothing choices. Weddings are about getting married to the love of your life. It shouldn’t matter what guests wear (except for white).
NTA
But she is a massive one – she doesn’t get to decide what guests wear past a formality level. And then for there even to be a category of color that’s for people who don’t matter (which is what she’s saying) is gross. It’s awful she put her own sibling into the “fade away in beige” group but her ah-ness started the second there was valuation to the colors.
Ps I bet beige guests were still expected to bring the same caliber of gift as the black and white ones.
NTA – go to the wedding and wear black!
If your sister kicks you out, then just leave! No fuss!
If family or people ask why you weren’t there, just tell explain that your sister didn’t think you were good enough to be there (be very vague on details).
Imagine your sister, trying to explain to people why she insisted you wear beige lol 😂 her own sister not a VIP! she will make herself look crazy and pathetic!
If you aren’t in the wedding party, wear whatever you want.
NTA. Why aren’t you a VIP? You are family. It seems like she purposely would like to exclude you.
NTA but you can be assured her husband will likely hit the door in a couple of years and you’ll have other chances to see her married in the future.
This is the new thing for weddings. They want their pictures to look a certain way. I don’t agree with it
Ok, you’re NTA and did just as she asked. But why do I see me wearing a beige dress to the wedding with the biggest, puffiest sleeves possible with a huge bell skirt and a huge bow and large hat?
Nope. Just like child free weddings – you should expect when you put stipulations and rules on your guests that some will choose to come and some will choose not to and you have to be okay with either option.
It’s pretty simple, if you don’t want someone to not come to an event, don’t tell them they don’t have to come. Sister made a declaration and OP called her on it.
Also, it’s a bit of a dick move to tell your sister she’s not a VIP at your wedding. NTA
You made a wedding all about you that you didn’t even go to? Your sister and mum need to get a grip. People get so weird about their own weddings they forget about the reason for it. NTA
Meh. You can go to her next one.
Your sister is a mole.
Intentionally told you that you’re not important to her, hence you can wear beige. You weren’t obligated to attend, she told you that you didn’t need to come so you didn’t.
Your parents having a go at you, I’d just tell them that you didn’t see your attendance as important or necessary as your sister certainly didn’t believe it was. Now you know where you stand in her life so you don’t feel inclined to make more of an effort in keeping the relationship than she is.
YTA people are insane wtf you ARE making her wedding about you, it’s about HER and the way she likes it wtf is wrong with people saying you are right, you’re not.
Thank god for your sister you’re not going, I definitely prefer not having you that day if I was her
She was too controlling and you called her out on it.
You have made too much of one day and some silly photos that few people will even see after a few years—and so what if they do?
ESH.
YTA One day in a beige dress wouldn’t keep me from my sister’s wedding. If other guests can wear white or black, why can’t you?
NTA. A dress code is one thing, but assigning specific colors based on some arbitrary VIP hierarchy? That’s next-level controlling. If she wanted a perfectly curated aesthetic, she could’ve just eloped or hired models for the photos.
You offered reasonable compromises (navy is neutral and elegant!), and she chose to die on the beige hill instead. If she’s willing to exclude you over color, that’s on her—not you. And the guilt-tripping afterward? Classic deflection.
Stand your ground. Weddings don’t give people a free pass to micromanage others’ comfort. Also, beige does wash out like 90% of people—science should’ve been her first clue…
It’s not like the other guests would think you chose to wear beige. Your sister created a system of “assigned” dress code colors to label the guests’ status and identify where they rank to her. Her supporters who are blasting you for choosing HER option of not attending are just as twisted as she is.
Good for you OP! How many men had to wear Beige tuxedos?
NTA but your sister is.
NTA. Your sister has some bridezilla qualities. I wouldn’t like being told what colors I can and cannot wear.
Wow,
A message has been sent by your sister.
If the very closest family members are not considered VIP’s, then who is? Or, are other family members VIP’s, just not you?
Her stance is telling you, in full living color, how much mean to her.
This is way more than about the wardrobe!
Honestly, I can’t fault you for skipping the wedding.
If you choose to send a small message. Attend the wedding. Arrive just before the start. Sit in the back. After the wedding, be the first person out of the door. Definitely do not attend the reception. If you decide to attend the wedding, wear a color of your choice. By arriving late, sitting in the back, and leaving the wedding immediately, you avoid getting in any photos.
NTAH.
Why do people have these ridiculous color codes at weddings. VIP?? That means big shots get to stand out? She couldn’t make you a big shot?
BTW of course she’s not a VIP
Read the post again, that’s not a sister that’s an enemy (and I’m talking about OP if that’s not clear)
It seems like everybody is ignoring that her sister has a dress code of BLACK WHITE AND BEIGE and SHE ASKS TO WEAR NAVY BITCH WTF
Are any other close family members not VIP? Who else has been designated beige?
I was going to say YTA until “only VIPs can wear black or white.” The bride’s sister isn’t VIP? I would probably have worn the beige, and then made her wear a fuchsia taffeta dress to MY wedding.
For not wearing beige for one day I say YTA. It’s a stupid hill to die on. Just to add I think it’s ridiculous that brides nowadays tell people what to wear except the style (formal, semi, etc).
It’s the VIP part that’s got me. I wouldn’t have went for that reason. Then I would say NTA.
You called her bluff, and now she’s mad. NTA
Wtf has a black/white/beige dress code?? Is that a thing literally anyone has ever done?
nta.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and the wedding day, is just a day in that string of days.
Enforcing colours on others on that specific moment is something I just can’t compute.
I wouldn’t have the strength to accept in the first place.
I was all set to say you were the AH because it was her wedding but I’m not understanding why as her sister you aren’t a VIP. Seems like there is some more stuff going. if it is so important to her that you be at her wedding in beige to forever commemorate that you are not very important to her I don’t blame you for not going.
At first I thought you were going to be the asshole, but then your sister made the VIP comment and she’s the asshole.
NTA – that “wedding” sounded very fkn YAWN to me colourless and blah and your blister and smother are TOTAL ASSHATS – love to you hun x
I was leaning the other way until that line about not being a VIP. NTA. Sister made it clear OP wasn’t important and told OP to note attended if they were not comfortable.
YTA. It’s for a few hours, who gives af? Childish reaction IMO.
UpdateMe
NTA. Anyone enforcing a colour code on wedding guests – no matter what rye colour is – is a grade A cvnt
Well…give her what she wants. Pick a beige color that matches your skin tone as closely as possible. Make sure it hugs your curves. At first glance, you will look nude in the photos 😂
If you do a search for “beige dress at a wedding” you’ll find that there are only about 700 shades of beige with all kinds of different finishes. I’m confident you could find something that works without too much trouble. It’s a pretty broad palette.
So “being completely washed me out” is an excuse, not an explanation. It’s not the beige that got you to not go, it’s the fact that she didn’t make you feel special — she let you know that you weren’t a VIP. Well, c’est la vie. Get over it.
You’re not a VIP at someone else’s wedding with a dress code. She didn’t ask you to wear a bra, lose some some weight, or shave that moustache. She only asked that you wear a beige dress — probably the most popular colour of women’s clothing in the past 18 months.
You’re not in the wedding party and you’re not the parents of the bride and groom. So don’t go, then. Clearly you didn’t want to be there. But be honest about the reason. You had 999 shades of beige to choose from and you went with “petty.”
I’m not on board with a colour requirement for wedding guests.
I can see saying no to a colour or two, so the bride & wedding sorry stand out, and I can suggesting general palettes that are open enough that most people wouldn’t mind wearing some colour that qualifies as long as it’s just a suggestion. Beachy for a beach wedding, seasonal colours etc, as long as they’re colour schemes that include options, including neutrals.
But demanding a certain colour AND ranking the attendees?
Nta. These are people coming to celebrate a milestone in your life with you, not props or a backdrop for your day long photo op. You get to be one of the main characters at your wedding but that doesn’t make everyone else your npc.
YTA for making up this story
Who are the VIP if the bride’s own sister isn’t one? NTA
Yes, you are TA. Her day. not a big ask to wear a certain color. Very vain of you. There’s obviously a deeper issue you have with her.
Yes. YTAH
YTA. It’s just one day. If she wants you to wear beige, why not. It’s not like it’s fluorescent pink. I couldn’t get that worked up about this.
Tell mom that she is laying the blame at the wrong door; sister dearest told you to wear beige or don’t come.
You are both AHs. It is a freaking dress. You are also really vane. One hundred years from now, you will both be long forgotten. You don’t have time to be petty.
People aren’t going to agree with me but YTA. You did make the day about you. It was all about how you felt.
NTA. Sis uninvited you.
ESH. Your sister insulted you and her dress code is weirdly controlling. You aren’t willing to suck it up and swallow your pride for 5 hours. There is obviously bad blood and a lot of unexplained history here.
It sounds like you’re making the right decision to not attend; that will be less drama for everyone.
Beige is the color equivalent of meh. You did everyone a favor by not showing up looking like a sad piece of toast! Cheers to standing out in black or navy!
If you being her sister aren’t vip
If it was me I wouldn’t have attended on that alone
And on top of that having to go looking like a ghost?
NTA
NTA. The whole idea of telling people what color to wear is ridiculous. I wouldn’t go to a wedding like that either.
You are selfish. Brides get exhausted and are whackadoodle by the time their wedding comes along. You should have just worn the frictin’beige, who cares!!! No Big Deal!!! Yes, you were selfish and made the wedding about “you”…you are the one that put a “wedge” between you and your sister’s relationship. You shouldn’t have done that, she had enough stress going on at that time. You are/were (very) selfish.
I’m so sick of women who become the biggest assholes in the world for their weddings. Telling everyone what to wear because they think they are the queen in a parade. Life will show them! Don’t go. Sounds like it will be a dramatic day of outbursts and tantrums anyway. NTA.
You both sound like terrible people
Who is a VIP if not your own sister?
NTA.
Brides are getting WAY too entitled. Yes, it’s your day, but you get to control the guest list and the general dress code. It’s not a time to get drunk on power.
Beige, yellows, oranges are totally not my colors… my skin just becomes those colors so I would hate that. I totally get brides determine the bridal party clothing and such, but the guests as well? I guess your sister feels she needs to take all control on that day. But for my sister’s wedding I would wear it…. But find something very beautiful and the right beige, get a spray tan so it looks better on you…stand out, be gorgeous. Oh if you want to get a little passive aggressive thing in, by the least expensive thing on her registry and sign the card “from your sister, you know the NOT very important person.” Then after the wedding sit down and talk to her about the not vip comment. I would ride this for awhile… any favor she wants from you, tell her to go ask one of her vips. I can be petty when my feelings are hurt and I think this is what your post is really about.
I wonder how many people are going to actually attend this wedding if they are being told they had to wear beige. If I were a guest, I’d find it odd and I am not sure I would attend because I wouldn’t want to buy an outfit in a specific color that I would probably wear once.
I wrote a short story about how much I hate the color beige.
The latest boring take on the dress code restrictions in weddings.
So refusing to wear a color for one night was worth it to alienate your family and hurt your sister? I think you answered your own question. Sometimes it is better to be kind than to prove you are right.
Your sister is out of line, what a strange unhinged request. I feel bad for you and your BIL. I wonder if this strict dress code will apply for any future children I would only purchase beige clothes for them . Have you asked your sister why you’re not VIP?
You could show up with a sign that says, I’m not allowed to attend my own sister’s wedding, due to not adhering to her weird strict beige dress code. ( just kidding. seriously though)
ESH
Your sister’s bullshit is just that..,bullshit
But you made it clear how you look in photos was more important to you than your family.
No matter what you think, that makes you an ahole too.
So everyone sucks
NTA. She wanted you to look unflattering so that you would not outshine her in the photos.
NTA – forced to wear beige and banned from black or white? Sounds less like a wedding and more like a neutral-toned hostage situation.
She threw down the ultimatum and you set your boundaries NTA
If she really said “if you don’t like it, don’t come,” then you are NTAH.
Well initially I was gonna say go ahead and suck it up and wear beige but it’s her reasoning that gets me. Black and white are for VIPs only. You are her sister why are you not considered VIP???? I’d prolly say since I’m not that important you won’t care that I’m not there. Also what a boring color palette!!!
How does one get VIP status at a wedding? Also what a horrible color scheme. NTA mainly because the bride is ridiculous and said don’t come if you don’t like it. You don’t get to say that and get mad when the person doesn’t come.
NTA assuming you RSVPed, she basically told you that you’re not a VIP so how could it be a big deal if you weren’t there?
It’s a whole family of AHs. Yeah your sister sucks and is an AH for saying you’re not a VIP (& for being so intense about the dress code). But at the same time – you were willing to skip your sister’s wedding just to avoid wearing beige for a few hours – so I’m guessing she isn’t a VIP to you either lol Your family has indulged and raised this duo of AHs so it’s a fair assumption that they too are AHs.
What a silly unnecessary mess.
How is a sister not a VIP? You are NTA. Me, I would have her explain why I wasn’t a VIP and who are the VIPs. It’s ok to make her feel uncomfortable. What she is doing to you, as her sister, is pretty crappy.
Wait.. If you’re her sister and not a VIP.. then who the hell is?! I would’ve refused to attend just because of that!
Oh my goodness. Is she a “beige mom” type? Allergic to colour? If so I pity her new spouse and any future children.
She’s being a bridezilla. Firstly it’s rude to tell her sister she’s not a VIP then get angry she didn’t attend. If someone doesn’t warrant VIP status then you shouldn’t be upset by their absence from your event. Secondly, enforcing a colour code on your guests is ridiculously entitled. Thirdly, beige is a terrible colour to choose and makes many people look awful.
NTA. She decided that an aesthetic was more important than the comfort of her guests, not you. She has to deal with the consequences of that.
Yes, of course. YTA. It’s your sister‘s wedding. Skipping it because you don’t like the color you have to wear is a poor excuse.
NTA your sister sucks and her wedding sounds awful.
NTA. A wedding is all about the bride of course, but she went way overboard by also making it about her ridiculous demands for her guests, too.
You did the right thing by protecting your sanity from her crazy.
She was the one being petty and disrespectful and your parents enabled her.
I don’t know which is worse: being told a sister is not a VIP, or having to wear beige. Yuck.
However, because she is this way, don’t expect her to show up at your wedding. She might even try to sabotage your big day. Proceed with caution when the time comes.
You’re not a VIP at your own sister’s wedding? If not, who is?
The volume of wedding related posts in AITAH tells me that too many sucky people get married.
I hate beige but I think I would wear it even though the dress code is ridiculous. Just wear tons of makeup.
Nta you did the right thing I wouldn’t wear beige either
NTA. don’t understand all this requiring guests at a wedding to wear specific colors. Wedding party, yes. Guests… no.
Social media has ruined weddings. We eloped in Vermont. Our Jp wore a flannel shirt. I don’t know if flannel is in or out for weddings
Yta borrow dress and get some dinner/ lunch. Wtf really? This is fake i hope
Nta. A wedding invite it that, an invite. Not a summons. Can say no for any reason.