I (19f) just told my sister (27f) I’m not going to her wedding and now half my familys mad at me. to keep a long story short, her best man is my ex. we dated for a year and he cheated a lot and the breakup was very messy even though I felt so much better for it. My sister was there through all of it, comforting me reassuring me about how awful he was, and how I deserve better, the usual stuff you say. fast forward to last week, turns out they stayed friends ever since and she made him the best man. She didn’t tell me until recently because she ‘knew I’d be upset’. Apparently it’s because her now husband didn’t have a good enough friend to be the best man, but that doesn’t make sense as to why my ex was chosen.
It feels like a huge betrayal imo and I’d like to know if im in the right or wrong.
Comments
NTA if she knew it would hurt you and did it anyway that’s a choice not an accident.
Doesn’t the groom usually choose the best man? Are you really gonna let that loser guy make you miss your sisters wedding? Take the high road and show up for her on her day.
INFO: how long ago was this and how old is your ex?
NTA,if the broke was bad and not in a good way
NTA, your sister is so weird for this.
This is odd. Very odd. NTA
u/bot-sleuth-bot
Your sister picked a 19 or around 19 year old cheater (even worse, cheated on her younger sister) that she knew for a year as best man at her wedding? She either hates you or liked/shagged your ex. Nta.
You are doing good, the fact your sister and half of your family betrayed you is painful but as long as you think you are on the right path, do not waver. The right will always come out
NTA. Your sister’s man doesn’t have family? She did this on purpose and I think to get you two back together. Tell your family to suck it if they want someone who cheats to STAND UP for your sister then so be it.
NTAH!!! Your sister is a jerk for doing this to you after she knows what a horrible breakup that you two had. And if she starts inviting this loser to family events, you might need to go LC with her! UpDateMe
Shr knew you’d be upset. You are upset. Mission accomplished, what’s her problem? Whatever her aim, she won.
NTA your sister and family are betraying you and gaslighting you into thinking it’s your issue. I’d skip it too
Nta you should go no contact with your sister she obviously doesn’t care about you considering she stayed friends with such a person updateme
Kind of weird and not nice
Tell the family members who are mad at you to mind their own business.
Her now husband didn’t have a good enough friend my ass. They could have made friends and not rushed with the wedding plans.
NTA, but your sister is a massive jerk.
NTA
NTA
This might not be strange behaviour from your sister in that I’m assuming she does things like this.
It’s weird and unacceptable. How is she friends with your ex? I was thinking her fiancé was friends with him first, her being friends with your cheating ex is weird
Either your sister is a weirdo with extremely young “friends”, or your family is fucked up because they accepted a creepy older man to date you.
NTA, major shortage on loyalty these days smh
NTA. She’s probably cheating on the fiancé with your ex or the three of them have something going on. Go NC and protect your peace.
Your sister doesn’t choose the best man. The groom chooses the best man.
She probably was one of his side conquests. I’d drop her and anyone that doesn’t see this for what it is….a betrayal.
She’s setting up her future toy boy , just say that to the family … why else is she interested in a cheater ?
I think you need to tell your BIL you suspect your sister has cheated with your ex as he’s a serial cheater and it’s a major concern and one of the only valid reasons she continued to stay in contact with him behind your back and then suggest him being a best man at her own wedding. Maybe try see what info you get from him about how she proposed the idea of him being best man and does he know about your ex history and did he know how close your sister was with him like the last 7 months
Her best man? I thought the groom chooses the best man.
NTA. Your sister betrayed you. Would like to know how she “supported” you while still being friends with him? If he’s party of the wedding party then a) some people know about the two of you and b) you will be seeing more of him for wedding anniversaries and more. Don’t go to the wedding and ensure your family and closest friends know why.
Shit, this just doesn’t make sense. You are two young for her to have friends around the same age. Two young for her to have been friends with your ex for any length of time.
Then I see in your comment that he is 21, he was 20 when you dated and the split was only 7 months ago.
So how in the fuck does she feel close to this guy, after around 7 months of knowing him (not sure now long you dated, so let’s say in total she has known him for a year?) she makes him her best man?
To me, she’s doing it to absolutely spite you. Maybe she always fancied him and was jealous when you started to date him. Which is weird.
Doesn’t she have other friends? If yes, then choosing him over them is just another suggestion that she did it just to anger you!
Good for you for not going and if anyone else can’t take a step back, think about this whole situation and realise how fucked up it is……then fuck them too!
Better off without them
Fake story. Facts don’t add up
“I told my sister I’m not going to her wedding”
“Her now husband has no friends”
So she’s already married but the wedding is upcoming
Fake/. YTA.
How does the bride chose the best man? Groom didn’t have a good enough friend? Still his choice.
That is just weird and makes the story look incredibly fake.
I would speak to your sis about this. Ask her flat out why she did this? Especially when she new you broke up with him. Did she get involved with him?
NTA, Also Your sister knew he was cheating before y’all broke up. She’s ain’t shit
YTA
Your sister’s wedding is not about you. If she’s friends with your ex, it’s her prerogative to have him in the wedding party.
You not going shows to her that your dislike of your ex is greater than your love for your sister.
100% she was sleeping with him before . Cut her out and go NC and if your parents are complaining go NC . On wedding day do something special with a friend
You just told your sister you are not attending the wedding but in your comments you say the wedding was last week? Are you making this up?
That’s fucking weird.
NTA.
Is she a narcissist? Serious question.