i (18f) have a cousin camila (also 18f) and we’ve basically grown up like twins bc our mums are sisters and they’ve always pushed us together. only thing is she’s the “miracle baby” bc her mum had issues having kids and ever since she was born it’s like the whole fam decided she’s the main character
like growing up i was always told to give her the toy, let her go first, calm HER down even if we both cried. she once fell over and i got told off for “not looking after her properly.” i was SIX
she’s always been the “talented” one. writes poems, acts, paints random stuff. she wrote a poem about the sky when we were 10 and my grandma literally FRAMED it. i’m not even joking. meanwhile i’m the one helping clean, setting the table, watching the little cousins and no one notices
she’s fake nice. like always posting “grateful for today 💗” but never says thanks irl. never helps, never stays behind to clean or anything. just shows up when there’s attention. her mum hypes her 24/7. my mum’s sweet but hates drama so she’s always telling me to let it go. grandma? literally acts like camila invented kindness
anyway i got into my first choice uni last week (yay me lol) and my mum planned a lil dinner at grandma’s. not a huge deal just close fam. even brought my bf (19m) and was honestly really excited
camila showed up LATE wearing some long floaty dress like she was about to get married or smth. hugs me like “so proud of u babes you’ve always been the responsible one” ?? ok?? kept saying weird stuff all night like how she “helped me through school” and calling my bf “Dani” and laughing at everything he said. she touched his arm. multiple times. like pls stop
then AFTER DINNER her mum stands up and goes “camila wrote something she wants to share” and i just knew. she pulls out this POEM and starts reading it out loud. whole thing was like “growth is pain” and “to the new chapters we all must face” 😐 it wasn’t even about me. it was about her. again.
everyone clapped. grandma looked like she was gonna cry. her mum goes “she’s so gifted” i’m sitting there like r u serious rn
so i just snapped. said “you always do this. you couldn’t even let me have one night without making it about you”
she was like “what??” and i said “that poem wasn’t for me. it was just another way to get attention like always”
she burst out crying. her mum started yelling. grandma looked horrified. my mum tried to say something but got talked over. camila ran upstairs and left early w her mum
i helped clean up. no one said anything. later my bf said i wasn’t wrong but maybe i could’ve waited. my cousin (20m) texted me like “we’ve all wanted to say that since we were 12 lol”
now she’s unfollowed me on everything. her mum wants me to “formally apologise.” grandma said it was “a stain on the family.” my mum says just move on
but i’m tired of always moving on and letting her take the spotlight
so yeah. did i go too far?
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i (18f) have a cousin camila (also 18f) and we’ve basically grown up like twins bc our mums are sisters and they’ve always pushed us together. only thing is she’s the “miracle baby” bc her mum had issues having kids and ever since she was born it’s like the whole fam decided she’s the main character
like growing up i was always told to give her the toy, let her go first, calm HER down even if we both cried. she once fell over and i got told off for “not looking after her properly.” i was SIX
she’s always been the “talented” one. writes poems, acts, paints random stuff. she wrote a poem about the sky when we were 10 and my grandma literally FRAMED it. i’m not even joking. meanwhile i’m the one helping clean, setting the table, watching the little cousins and no one notices
she’s fake nice. like always posting “grateful for today 💗” but never says thanks irl. never helps, never stays behind to clean or anything. just shows up when there’s attention. her mum hypes her 24/7. my mum’s sweet but hates drama so she’s always telling me to let it go. grandma? literally acts like camila invented kindness
anyway i got into my first choice uni last week (yay me lol) and my mum planned a lil dinner at grandma’s. not a huge deal just close fam. even brought my bf (19m) and was honestly really excited
camila showed up LATE wearing some long floaty dress like she was about to get married or smth. hugs me like “so proud of u babes you’ve always been the responsible one” ?? ok?? kept saying weird stuff all night like how she “helped me through school” and calling my bf “Dani” and laughing at everything he said. she touched his arm. multiple times. like pls stop
then AFTER DINNER her mum stands up and goes “camila wrote something she wants to share” and i just knew. she pulls out this POEM and starts reading it out loud. whole thing was like “growth is pain” and “to the new chapters we all must face” 😐 it wasn’t even about me. it was about her. again.
everyone clapped. grandma looked like she was gonna cry. her mum goes “she’s so gifted” i’m sitting there like r u serious rn
so i just snapped. said “you always do this. you couldn’t even let me have one night without making it about you”
she was like “what??” and i said “that poem wasn’t for me. it was just another way to get attention like always”
she burst out crying. her mum started yelling. grandma looked horrified. my mum tried to say something but got talked over. camila ran upstairs and left early w her mum
i helped clean up. no one said anything. later my bf said i wasn’t wrong but maybe i could’ve waited. my cousin (20m) texted me like “we’ve all wanted to say that since we were 12 lol”
now she’s unfollowed me on everything. her mum wants me to “formally apologise.” grandma said it was “a stain on the family.” my mum says just move on
but i’m tired of always moving on and letting her take the spotlight
so yeah. did i go too far?
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> I feel like I took it too far and should have let it slide instead of cashing so much drama
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
It was about time!!
Sounds like she got a much needed dose of reality. NTA
NTA. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. It sounds like a classic golden-child dynamic, where kids are assigned extreme and unrealistic roles. You are not responsible for your cousin, and whatever your family seems committed to believing, she is not a magical being who can do no wrong and deserves uninterrupted admiration and attention.
You did a great job getting into your first choice uni. Well done! Go get it! We ride at dawn.
Ignore these ridiculous people and go on out about your business being fabulous.
NTA but I think she’s jealous of you and the attention you were getting, as well as your achievement, and that’s why she did it. And I wouldn’t be surprised if she slides into your boyfriend’s DMs later and tries to flirt with him again. Go to college, have fun, learn as much as you can, and accept that your family will never give you the attention that they give her. She’s the golden child, but you’ll be starting a new and interesting life soon. So focus on that.
NTA
It’s time for you to go to college with your bf and leave the toxic part of your family behind. You’ve been given way too much responsibility from too young of an age. You need to learn and find out who you are outside of them.
Getting into college is an achievement you can and should be proud of. Though it seems like you don’t really feel that way about yourself. Those years of neglect do that to a person. Leave them behind, even for just a couple of years, and find yourself. Then you can still decide if you want to reopen contact. I’m not saying your whole family, just the ones that prioritise your cousin over everyone else and want you to apologize.
NTA
Maybe there is something you can do to re-connect with your grandma after this, so that it doesn’t harm your relationship with her (if that’s something that matters to you). Like maybe you can write her a letter or go for a walk with her (or both) and explain how you’ve been feeling. Idk maybe that will sow more seeds of discord, but I think you were right to finally say something because this had gone on long enough. You don’t have to have a good relationship with your cousin, but if you can get your other family members to see your point of view, maybe cousin will have to tone it down eventually.
NTA – sometimes people have to learn the hard way that the universe doesn’t revolve around them and not everyone wants to hear their shitty poems.
Your frustration is obviously valid but perhaps how you reacted wasn’t the best course of action. I think it would have been better to confront her in private and perhaps try to explain the situation to your mom with the support of your other cousins. This might not solve the situation but you’d know that you were 100% in the right.