My mam has had her internet friend staying with us for the last week, she is American and we are Irish.
All week she has been making strange comments about Ireland and Irish history. I’m an Irish History masters student so obviously this topic is close to me.
Last night we were in a bar and we were talking about previous trips to ireland, she said that she had wanted to come originally in March over St. Paddy’s day but decided against it as it was celebrated better in America and technically was an “American holiday anyway”
Previously she had also made comments that were entirely inaccurate about Ireland, the partition and the conflict with the north which I ignored.
After a few drinks I couldn’t stand to hear this woman talk about how she was proudly “Irish American” and yet understand so little about the country and disrespect its culture so proudly.
My mam thinks im in the wrong and I should’ve just let her have her opinion
AITA?
EDIT*
I realise I left out a lot of information,
She had claimed that the North was never part of ireland and had always been part of the UK.
She had stated that the Irish made up the Irish Language just to annoy Britain
And she claimed that the troubles in Ireland was between the Irish and English military and had been dramatised by the Irish to appear like victims.
I had told her that her views were entirely inaccurate, and actually quite ignorant to Irish history, that she was clearly uneducated and since she was so proud to be “Irish” she should research these topics more before speaking so confidently on them.
Comments
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My mam has had her internet friend staying with us for the last week, she is American and we are Irish.
All week she has been making strange comments about Ireland and Irish history. I’m an Irish History masters student so obviously this topic is close to me.
Last night we were in a bar and we were talking about previous trips to ireland, she said that she had wanted to come originally in March over St. Paddy’s day but decided against it as it was celebrated better in America and technically was an “American holiday anyway”
Previously she had also made comments that were entirely inaccurate about Ireland, the partition and the conflict with the north which I ignored.
After a few drinks I couldn’t stand to hear this woman talk about how she was proudly “Irish American” and yet understand so little about the country and disrespect its culture so proudly.
My mam thinks im in the wrong and I should’ve just let her have her opinion
AITA?
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Irish American Here, who knows very little about Ireland – Great Great Grandparents came thru Ellis Island to the US – I want to visit but I would be asking those who live there about the history and such, not assuming I know… BUt what is the conflict? Did you/what did you say to her?
EDIT: With your Edit, NTA – you spoke the truth.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my mams friend that she was uneducated and ignorant for her views on ireland and its culture. My mam thinks that I am in the wrong and an asshole for doing so and breaking the peace.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Not really. It’s frustrating when someone talks over your culture with confidence but no knowledge, especially when you actually study it.
You probably could’ve handled it more calmly, but calling her out wasn’t unreasonable.
INFO: what did she exactly say that was disrespecting the Irish culture? What did you say? Calling someone out for that isn’t unreasonable — but a lot of times there is a nicer way to go about things.
NTA Half my family lives here in the US and half my family lives in Ireland and there is nothing more annoying than going to a family function with American’s that think because their great, great grandmother came from Co Clare their experts in Irish history and culture. It takes all I can do not to roll my eyes when they start spouting absolute rubbish and utter nonsense. Years ago, someone was telling my great uncle about the history of Spike Island and he was so polite but the look on their face when he told them he broke out of it twice was priceless.
omg, please politely slap down that American idiot!
I would argue with your mother, that the problem with Americans now, is that they will believe any lies they’re told, and that they are willing to spread those and propagate it like it was a deadly virus.
The only answer to lies is truth, thank you for stepping up and telling it. Maybe heads up everyone around this woman so she gets the message from everyone, that she is wrong, that she knows nothing about Ireland or its history, and that she is being a truly ugly American by spreading falsehoods and incomplete BS, because she never really learned any of this.
if you can, gift her a couple of Irish history books. But smack down her lies, everyone in the world needs to smack down American lies. She really needs the roots of Irish and Gaelic history, not whatever this BS is. I think you and your mom, are being way to forgiving of this, it is your history that she is lying about, and claiming expertise in, and she absolutely needs to be set straight. Lies are bad for everyone, and they distort the entire world when they are propagated!
– an American with Irish roots.
NTA. She was talking about things she knows nothing about and insulting the Irish culture. It’s one thing to talk about things and be incorrect, but is rude to say the Irish dramatized it.
Calling someone uneducated is a bit much. I love how we tend to go from zero to 100 in a hot second.
NTA. I hate it when people go on about something they really know nothing about. It’s always been my belief (and policy) that when I am in a foreign country, I am there as a guest. As such, it is my obligation to be respectful of the customs and history of that country. I see my visit as an opportunity to learn. This kind of behavior is what gives Americans a bad rap.
NTA. Bravo. You told her.
NTA
She believes a second hand rewritten version of history that was related to her. She hasn’t actually learned anything factual, just opinionated, this is a typical kind of learning that is full of misinformation and perpetuates falsehoods, bigotry, ideological biases and outright lies. These are like myths, superstition and folklore they make sense to the believers but if given a good dose of facts can be seen for what they are. Take her and your mum on a historical tour to give her a better context and conflicting information so she has to challenge her beliefs.
NTA. No obnoxious American will stop being obnoxious until someone tells them.
Also, American here.
NTA. What a gowl.
NTA, are you sure she wasn’t trying to wind you up? Those are such staggeringly wrong and inflammatory takes I struggle to believe it!
NTA. You could have been gentler, because she is your mother’s friend, not yours. Send her a simple child’s level history of Ireland.
NTA. It sounds like she knows nothing. Maybe you could have been more tactful.
Fun story: I have a friend whose family immigrated from Belfast. She still has a ton of extended family there. We went on a group knitting vacation a few years back, and one woman’s husband came along. Turns out he was in the British army and stationed in Belfast during the Troubles. My friend’s family is staunchly catholic and for an independent republic. (There, I got around automatic comment removal). We had a tense dinner when all that came out.
>she had wanted to come originally in March over St. Paddy’s day but decided against it as it was celebrated better in America and technically was an “American holiday anyway”
Well, I will say this: St. Patrick’s day in the U.S. is a uniquely American event. But that doesn’t make her correct!
Holy shit. There is petty, and then there is apparently petty enough to make up and keep an entire language just not to speak to the British. Understandable, but petty /s
Nta. I understand wanting to be someone who is part of such a rich culture and amazing country. But for that, you need to actually be part of it. Not spout shit so it fits your narrative.
That’s not just ignorant, it’s offensive. I’m American, not even Irish-American, and I know what she said is just factually incorrect.
Did you actually say “you are uneducated and ignorant?” INFO
As an American I agree with Mandaraven
NTA, either she knew she was being insulting and offensive or needs to be told. Either way you have it covered. I’m an American who is no expert on Irish history and culture but even I know she was spouting idiocy that no one could take as friendly or polite. I’d tell your Mom you’re sorry you were rude to her guest but don’t see an alternative to dealing with someone so determinedly ignorant and rude.