I (32F) live with my best friend (34F). Let’s call her Molly. I work from home and Molly works in an office. Molly has a dog, Gabby, and is not the best dog mom, if I’m being honest. She walks her 1-2 times a day and the walks are anywhere between 3-10 minutes long. That’s it. That’s all the stimulation this poor dog gets (I secretly walk her extra times because I feel bad but I don’t want my friend to know).
Anyways, Gabby is historically TERRIFIED of thunderstorms. She whines, paces, pants SO loud, scratches at walls and doors, etc.
Molly has been dating a guy for about 8 months and it’s getting pretty serious. She stays at his house anywhere between 2-4 nights a week. So Molly will come home from work, walk gabby for a few minutes, and immediately leave again for the night. She NEVER brings Gabby to the boyfriends house.
We live in a rainforest-y climate and it’s been raining here every single day/night for two weeks and counting now. So when Molly goes to her boyfriends house for the night, she fully knows how Gabby is going to act but she leaves her here anyway for me to inevitably deal with. I finally confronted my friend about this and her response was “lock her in my bathroom, she’ll be fine”….ummm what?? I’m not locking this dog anywhere and I think this whole thing is just fucked up in general. I finally snapped at Molly about this and we haven’t spoken in a few days. We avoid each other like the plague and Molly is too selfish to apologize.
Am I the asshole? Should I have kept my mouth shut? Or was I right to say something and justified to be fed up and pissed?
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I (32F) live with my best friend (34F). Let’s call her Molly. I work from home and Molly works in an office. Molly has a dog, Gabby, and is not the best dog mom, if I’m being honest. She walks her 1-2 times a day and the walks are anywhere between 3-10 minutes long. That’s it. That’s all the stimulation this poor dog gets (I secretly walk her extra times because I feel bad but I don’t want my friend to know).
Anyways, Gabby is historically TERRIFIED of thunderstorms. She whines, paces, pants SO loud, scratches at walls and doors, etc.
Molly has been dating a guy for about 8 months and it’s getting pretty serious. She stays at his house anywhere between 2-4 nights a week. So Molly will come home from work, walk gabby for a few minutes, and immediately leave again for the night. She NEVER brings Gabby to the boyfriends house.
We live in a rainforest-y climate and it’s been raining here every single day/night for two weeks and counting now. So when Molly goes to her boyfriends house for the night, she fully knows how Gabby is going to act but she leaves her here anyway for me to inevitably deal with. I finally confronted my friend about this and her response was “lock her in my bathroom, she’ll be fine”….ummm what?? I’m not locking this dog anywhere and I think this whole thing is just fucked up in general. I finally snapped at Molly about this and we haven’t spoken in a few days. We avoid each other like the plague and Molly is too selfish to apologize.
Am I the asshole? Should I have kept my mouth shut? Or was I right to say something and justified to be fed up and pissed?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took was texting my roommate and getting mad at her for leaving her dog home with me every time she sleeps at her boyfriend’s house
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Reckless abandonment is clearly not above her and that poor dog deserves better. Tell her to rehome her dog or you’ll report her for neglect and follow through with it. If you don’t you’re the AH for allowing the dog to suffer as she has been.
NTA. This is neglect. She has not meeting the dog’s needs, she is forcing you to either allow the dog to be neglected or provide care, and now she is upset you called her out.
It’s not right to treat a dog this way and I’m ignoring the thunderstorm issue.
You did the right thing. You stood up for the dog and yourself. Let her ignore you. Behave normally. She is being immature. If she mentions this, tell her that she is not treating the dog well and should consider rehoming her.
NTA at all.
This is your home too and you’re taking on the responsibilty of the pet owner. What if you go out for the night, what is her back-up plan?
She’s not talking to you becuase she knows you’re right. ofc you’re not leaving the poor dog locked in the bathroom. Not only is it cruel but then you’ll hear whining and scratching all night.
It sucks that you’re so available for her to feel like she has a built -in dog sitter. I would stay firm with your opinion and how you feel, identify some boundaries for her and maybe take off a few times ( go to a friend’s house, sleep at your parent’s house if possible, something so that friend gets inconvenienced by having to be a dog mom again).
You could also talk to her ‘as a friend’ and say that maybe she needs to reconsider having a pet, like it was maybe a good idea when she was home more but now that she’s out, her dog is acting out, is lonely, adn is uncared for and of course firend is allowed to have a life but it truly is unfair for you to be stuck with this dog the remaining hours that friend is out of the house. Ask her honestly what other solutions could there be. Ask her to imagine you NOT being there all the hours that you are, and of COURSE you now have the responsiblity of being htere for the dog when you’re home. Hopefully appeal to her empathetic side.
Good luck!
“Molly” needs to start acting like a responsible dog-owner.
Her response about locking Gabby in the bathroom says it all really.
You’re deffo NTA.
I’d be like well you don’t want to take care of her Gabby is mine now… And I get it lol that’s a little over the top but I hate it when people do that… The dog probably looks to you as her owner anyways cause you actually give her the time she needs. And with the storms… Try a storm jacket or there’s a way you can do a storm jacket with a towel… Google it. But I would be doing the same as you. I wouldn’t be able to see an animal treated the way she is being treated. And if she moves in with her boyfriend I can only imagine her getting less attention
Adopt this dog plzzzz
NTA- I am a big dog lover but I wouldn’t let someone else put the responsibility of their dog on me like that. Especially when they didn’t even ask me. Write out everything that Molly has done, how long she has left the dog, does she change her water, feed her how long she walks her. Put down the dates if you can. Document everything especially going forward. Take photos/videos going forward too. Then tell Molly that you will be calling animal control on her if she doesn’t start taking proper care of her dog.
NTA. Molly needs to decide if she wants a dog or not. You are not the dog owner, although you definitely ensure Gabby’s wellbeing.
If she chooses to not be an owner and you love Gabby, adopt her. If you don’t have the capacity, let her go to a good family.
If she chooses to keep Gabby, she needs to step up or be reported.
NTA had a tenant that did that with their dogs. Had no idea until they moved out. The door was absolutely destroyed (along with the entire room they were locked in) and had to be replaced. Absolutely shit people that treat their pets like cheap toys I s2g
NTA
You two are sharing a dog, and it doesn’t seem like that’s meant to be your arrangement. It sounds like you don’t have the freedom to spend the night at anyone else’s house, which is a problem. There are a million reasons as to why she might not take Gabby to her boyfriend’s house, and that’s fine. But are there any reasons why he’s not just staying at your place with Molly? That seems like the obvious solution.
Confront her again. Don’t yell. Express your concerns and issues the way you did here. And tell her you’re taking Gabby for extra walks, and why you believe she needs to. You’re enabling her a bit by hiding that from her. Even if you continue to take Gabby for walks, Molly should know.
I’d also like to add that Gabby is a 9-10 year old Great Pyrenees..not sure if it’s important but it is more context..
Nta Tell roommate they need to do better for the dog.
Also, how big in the dog? I don’t suggest locking her in the bathroom, but some dogs do like to hide un the bathtub for comfort during scary thunderstorms.
NTA. Tell her to rehome the poor dog to someone who cares or you’ll report them to get the dog taken away
Get her saying it in text, get some video evidence of the dog being abandoned, and call animal services. Let that animal go to a home that wants them, and let her name get put on a list never to get pets again
My friend’s pit destroyed the bathroom. He was working his way through the floor the door …
NTA, tell her it’s not you’re responsibility to do anything with her dog. Call animal control if she abandons it again.
Keep the dog and rehome Molly.
The next time your roommate leaves for the night, you pack up and leave too. Tell Molly that you are not going to be home and she needs to make arrangements for the dog. Stand firm. Since Molly sounds immature and irresponsible (as a pet owner, anyway) you will likely have some damage done to the apt because my bet is, she will NOT RETURN TO CARE FOR HER DOG. This is fine, document all destruction that that occurs and continue to leave the house every time your roommate is gone for the night (surely you can find a friend with a couch, or treat yourself to a hotel room!) And you tell her that if she abandons the dog again, you will report her (and any damage) to the landlord and the humane society. Then do it.
You will not be able to reason with her because her boyfriend is way more important than the ‘contract’ she made when she adopted poor Gabby. Sorry to Gabby; you don’t get to pick your parents. Sadly.
I’d get the dog a weighted vest. Shalom you’re loved 💔
NTA, she’s basically using you as an unpaid dog sitter
Why tf did Molly adopt a dog if she wasn’t ready to be a responsible owner? You are NTA, that poor dog.
Okay you tricked me with that title. I was ready to come in here going yeah that’s totally your right but it seems kind of ick to me. Then you hit us with an ol bait and switch 😂 keep the dog, get rid of roommate, final answer lol. I’m being funny of course if you don’t want a dog or don’t have the stability for one don’t keep the dog, that wouldn’t be fair to either you or the dog. That being said at least try and pressure her into rehoming them to a better fit.
NTA. She’s using you as her free dog sitter and neglecting the dog