So context: i work with a guy that dated me earlier this year. He was 8 years older than me and i’m a teen. He basically love bombed me and manipulated me, and when I wouldn’t have sex with him due to religious reasons (that he didn’t respect), he broke up with me because of “blue balls.” He said that I made him hard without fulfilling his “needs.” When I asked him why he rushed into a relationshipwith me he said it was because he didnt have post nut clarity (he asked me to be his girlfriend 3 weeks into seeing me and it was right after I was pressured into a sexual encounter in which i did NOT want to touch him, which resulted in him not finishing. Looking back, I think him asking me to be his gf was because he thought i’d be more willing to do things for him if i thought it was serious). I had taken him seriously because he acted seriously about me (told his family about me, introduced me to his friends, ASKED ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND) and I was pretty upset that the entire thing was just about his dick apparently. He also told me during the breakup that I’m just not a priority and that he was just lonely. I didn’t go all the way with him but I did give him my first times for a lot of other stuff, and I trusted him to treat me with respect because he put up a front of a mature, trustworthy, sweet man.
Anyways, whatever i did do with him sexually it was out of pressure. And being a teen girl, I was obviously easily pressured. Being sexual with him made me learn a lot of embarassing fetishes about him. I won’t go into detail but they are gross and embarassing and DEFINITELY immasculating. He’s friends with almost everyone we work with and they all view him as the sweet and mature man I once viewed him as before I learned he was using me to get his dick wet and wanted me for nothing else. To be honest, I’m a bitch and i’m immature. Maybe this AITA question is obvious, yes i’m the asshole; but still I’ll ask it. Would I be the asshole for gossping with his friends about his embarassing sexual kinks? He’s been working here since he was my age: 8 years. It’s a long term place of employment. He can’t just get a new job. And his friends are basically his whole life. He made more time for them then he did for me when I was his “girlfriend.” It’s an immature thing for me to do, but to be honest, I don’t think he should date teens fresh out of high school and then expect them to be mature. I want to make sure he learns to think with his mind instead of his dick. It’s an important lesson for men to learn.
TLDR: my ex is a manipulative asshole who’s a total pervert and I am thinking about making his perversions known to our coworkers (we work together).
Just to clarify: I haven’t told anyone about anything he’s into. I haven’t embarassed him yet, I’m just asking to see what your opinion is on this. Should I? In other cases I think gossipping like this is morally reprehensible, but in this case it’s an important lesson for him and in a way it would give me a sense of justice being served.
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Backup of the post’s body: So context: i work with a guy that dated me earlier this year. He was 8 years older than me and i’m a teen. He basically love bombed me and manipulated me, and when I wouldn’t have sex with him due to religious reasons (that he didn’t respect), he broke up with me because of “blue balls.” He said that I made him hard without fulfilling his “needs.” When I asked him why he rushed into a relationshipwith me he said it was because he didnt have post nut clarity (he asked me to be his girlfriend 3 weeks into seeing me and it was right after I was pressured into a sexual encounter in which i did NOT want to touch him, which resulted in him not finishing. Looking back, I think him asking me to be his gf was because he thought i’d be more willing to do things for him if i thought it was serious). I had taken him seriously because he acted seriously about me (told his family about me, introduced me to his friends, ASKED ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND) and I was pretty upset that the entire thing was just about his dick apparently. He also told me during the breakup that I’m just not a priority and that he was just lonely. I didn’t go all the way with him but I did give him my first times for a lot of other stuff, and I trusted him to treat me with respect because he put up a front of a mature, trustworthy, sweet man.
Anyways, whatever i did do with him sexually it was out of pressure. And being a teen girl, I was obviously easily pressured. Being sexual with him made me learn a lot of embarassing fetishes about him. I won’t go into detail but they are gross and embarassing and DEFINITELY immasculating. He’s friends with almost everyone we work with and they all view him as the sweet and mature man I once viewed him as before I learned he was using me to get his dick wet and wanted me for nothing else. To be honest, I’m a bitch and i’m immature. Maybe this AITA question is obvious, yes i’m the asshole; but still I’ll ask it. Would I be the asshole for gossping with his friends about his embarassing sexual kinks? He’s been working here since he was my age: 8 years. It’s a long term place of employment. He can’t just get a new job. And his friends are basically his whole life. He made more time for them then he did for me when I was his “girlfriend.” It’s an immature thing for me to do, but to be honest, I don’t think he should date teens fresh out of high school and then expect them to be mature. I want to make sure he learns to think with his mind instead of his dick. It’s an important lesson for men to learn.
TLDR: my ex is a manipulative asshole who’s a total pervert and I am thinking about making his perversions known to our coworkers (we work together).
Just to clarify: I haven’t told anyone about anything he’s into. I haven’t embarassed him yet, I’m just asking to see what your opinion is on this. Should I? In other cases I think gossipping like this is morally reprehensible, but in this case it’s an important lesson for him and in a way it would give me a sense of justice being served.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Do it
Girl this man is a piece of shit and I hope karma gets him. He basically SA’d you. Just because you were in a relationship doesn’t mean it’s okay, pressuring you and coercing you into saying yes is not a real yes and there for it falls in the assault category. Fuck this man.
That said exposing his sexual kinks is not the way to go here. Were you already working for the company when you two started dating? And how long ago? I would go to HR and have this written on paper, if they question y you took so long to come forward you can explain how you didn’t realise the gravity of the situation until now. Also I would tell the other women in the office about your so called “relationship” and the way in which he pressured you. They should be aware of what kind of man he truly is especially if he portrays himself as a gentleman.
It would be easy here to expose his secrets and get petty revenge but honestly I think that will backfire on you more than anything as people will be reluctant to trust you in future and you’ll probably be seen as the “immature one”. I think you need to take the high road, go to HR get this dealt with properly, warn others but don’t gossip. Doing this karma will get him anyways and you will be all the more professional woman for it.
You wouldn’t be the asshole, but don’t do it. He is a well-liked senior employee and you are a young girl. If you want him to face consequences, go via HR. But keep your hands clean no matter what. You need to come off as credible as possible if you don’t want it to backfire on you.
There is a good chance the company will get rid of you if you start trouble like that.
Gossiping won’t get anything done for you, and we’ll likely backfire. You could warn the other’s your age that he is into younger women. But that’s as far as you should go. Most people are going to think you’re making it all up. What you need to do is talk to the owner of the company or your HR department.
Man with high power/status job is shitty to other people. I’m shocked, shocked I tell you.
Man with high power/status job is into malesub/femdom scenes: Not. Shocked. At all.
Jeez, has admin just given up vetting posts? This seems like a bunch of highly used words were thrown at a wall. Do they work at the same place?
Don’t do it. But, if he ever bothers you again, tell him that you know what his weird preferences are, and if he bothers you again, you’ll make sure to share them with others.
As my mom used to say, “I want nothing but sweetness and light from you, and that only with a smile.”
He’s a pedo and belongs in jail. And you deserve better ❤️
I don’t think it will go well for you to talk about his kinks. Think about yourself, here, before you do anything you’ll regret.