I’ll really try to make this short.
Mom cheated on my father about 10 years ago but he’s been cheating since marriage (had about 2-3 affairs). She stayed, so I don’t think that’s my business now.
Now, I’m married, and
1. She’s mad that I prioritize my husband and thinks I shouldn’t let him know or see how much I love him
2. She doesn’t think I should give him money
3. She compares me to my younger and promiscuous brother because he gives her money
4. She signed everything away from my father so he doesn’t even own the house.
5. She tried to disrespect my husband all because he came to the house and decided to stay on the porch with me rather than go sit with her inside.
6. She used social media to send subliminal messages because I distanced myself from her disrespect because truth be told, we fight often but I tried to not have to drag my husband in the mess but she did it all by herself, so I called her out for being disrespectful and told her she should apologize to us both and now, I’m blocked from ever making contact with her and if my father talks to me, she takes his phone and money.
There’s more to it but, this is a concise version.
I haven’t lived with my mom for longer than 3 months since 2019 and I’ve been independent since then.
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I’ll really try to make this short.
Mom cheated on my father about 10 years ago but he’s been cheating since marriage (had about 2-3 affairs). She stayed, so I don’t think that’s my business now.
Now, I’m married, and
There’s more to it but, this is a concise version.
I haven’t lived with my mom for longer than 3 months since 2019 and I’ve been independent since then.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I simply told my mom that she has to apologize to me before I can do any work for her.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. I’m so glad you said you weren’t living with her! You’re an adult, your life, your marriage! You already know how her marriage is, she shouldn’t be offering advice!
NTA. Not everyone gets a good mother. I didn’t either.
NTA. Your mother is unreasonable and toxic. NC/LC sounds like a good idea.
NTA. I finally went NC with my alcoholic, user bio mother, and the peace I have now is AWESOME! Highly suggest you do the same.
Just because your mother has a dysfunctional relationship with her husband doesn’t give her the right to project on yo.
She doesn’t want you to let your husband know you love him. She sounds jealous.
Tell her you are married. You are not giving him money. It is “your money.” You are married.
How you spend your money is your business – as a couple.
Again, her dysfunction not yours.
He is your husband. He wants to sit with you because he wants your company not hers. That is normal. She is jealous.
Being blocked by her is no loss. The way your father is treated is abusive. Preserve your peace. Hopefully your father will contact you when he can.
NTA
NTA – she’s clearly someone not to take advice from.