My wife of 2+ years (together for 9) left in November, I received divorce papers in December or January, and met someone shortly after, impregnating her during our pending divorce (which we both signed statements through our lawyers saying we were free to have relationships with whoever), divorce was final in April and I moved my pregnant gf and her 5 year old in with me this July. I was completely against divorce from the start, but once I thought my ex wife was never going to speak to me again because she was so adamant about divorce .. I mean .. I had needs I wanted to meet. Maybe I rushed this but recently she’s been reaching out to me in hopes of getting back together at some capacity, after I begged her not to go through with the divorce when we were still together. I hid the fact that I was about to be a father from her for a few months (right before the divorce was final and a couple months after as we needed to speak about certain things that were in our names) and didn’t tell her any of this until recently because I felt she needed to know so she would stop dreaming of continuing a relationship with me. I feel like she’s been overreacting via texts, calling me names, and chastising me for simply not wanting to live alone in the home that we shared for 8 years. Am I the asshole for rushing into a new beginning? am I the asshole for telling her the truth? According to my therapist, she doesn’t deserve to know about my life anymore.
AITA for starting a family shortly after my ex-wife divorced me?
r/AITAH
Comments
You were getting divorced you didn’t owe her a damn thing. The only time you should have mentioned it was when she recently reached out about starting again. One text then blocked her no need for a conversation.
” I’m not interested in reconciliation. I have moved on and I’m about to be a father. I appreciate you taking the time to reach out but this is where we leave it”
Blocked.
Also I don’t think you moved on to fast, everyone is different.
ESH
>left in November, I received divorce papers in December or January, and met someone shortly after, impregnating her during our pending divorce (which we both signed statements through our lawyers saying we were free to have relationships with whoever), divorce was final in April
Impregnated creeps me out here. Also you move way too fast. You weren’t even divorced.
>I had needs I wanted to meet.
Creepy #2
>feel like she’s been overreacting via texts, calling me names, and chastising me for simply not wanting to live alone in the home that we shared for 8 years.
If she’s the one who initiated the divorce, this is shitty behavior. But did you really get a woman pregnant so you could get laid and not live alone? Creepy #3
Your therapist is right, but you also have a lot of personal work to do.
NTA for moving on BUT:
NTA
Your ex fucked around and found out.
She thought you were a backup , she was probably banging someone at work and he was using her and he has someone new and she is lost . Your nuts for moving her in and her child so soon but don’t marry without a pre nup
YTA
It was irresponsible to this child for you to turn around and jump into a new relationship like this
Rushing into a new relationship and getting pregnant have nothing to do with it.
It might not be wise.
But it is what it is.
You are an adult.
She ended the relationship with you, refused communication not via lawyers and signed on the dotted line.
The implications of getting divorced are you accept there is no place for each other in your lives, you are no longer holding each other as a priority and moving on.
Especially when there is no shared children.
Clean break.
Your ex is the ah for ending things and then not accepting it actually final and you can’t go back.
YTA not for moving on from your marriage, but for doing so with these circumstances “because you didn’t want to live alone”. If you’d started a relationship with only adults involved, fine. It’s a rebound and not healthy, but consenting adults are allowed to make bad choices. But she already has a child that’s now involved, and now you’ve got another coming. Moving in with a child you should barely have met is a bad idea for the child. Knocking up someone you barely know is bad for the child.
Listen to your therapist
NTA she only wanted you back when she found out the grass wasn’t greener, the beauty of the divorce is you never have to contact or think about her again.
Are you happy? If so. That’s all that matters. She’s mad now because you have moved past her and onto a happy life. Remove her from your life completely. Nothing good can come from you interacting with her.
You showed her.
YTA – Definitely to yourself. You’ve put yourself in a really bad position by impregnating someone that you barely know. Good grief. Being a parent is serious business. You aren’t acting like it. There’s not enough info in your post to know whether you did something wrong to your ex-wife, but since she wanted the divorce, she needs to move on.
I met my now wife two months after I told my partner I wanted to split. And you know why? Cuz god loves me.
To yourself and the 5 yr old and possibly the new chic? Yes. Stupid? Yes. Irresponsible? Yes. To the ex, not her business.
NTA. She decided to have the divorce first. Now, you agreed and go on with your life.
NTA for moving on but YTA for continuing to talk to your ex-wife. It’s time to block her.
She left the marriage, she has no right to expect you to remain single and pine away for her on the off chance she changes her mind…
Yeah while I think a lot of people would take a longer period to grieve in between relationships, different people take different amounts of time. And sometimes you just meet someone quickly, so I get it.
Reguardless, you dont owe your ex anything. Shes not dating you anymore.
I have exclusively had amicable break ups, but I have never once gone out of my way to update an ex on my life.
And I especially couldn’t imagine reaching out if it was not an amicable breakup/divorce (unless you had kids or needed documents signed like you did. But even then, don’t need to share beyond that).
NTA. You guys were separated and in the process of divorcing. Your life is yours and she has no say in it
YTA for leading her on but NTA for starting a new relationship. I suspect you have a history of hiding things from her though.
Quite possibly, this rebound relationship will become challenging on it’s own. But hopefully not.
If you are done with the ex, then that’s the end of it.
YTA mainly to yourself. You’re living like an idiot. Knocking up someone you barely know and now you got an instafamily
NTA, but stupid for so many reasons.
NTA she wanted the D and you tried. You need to be happy. She just regrets her decision and the fact she’s lost you.
You may have been an asshole to yourself for rushing into having a family so quickly. Only time will tell.
NTA Your ex wife initiated,and continued to seek a divorce even after you were against it. Jumping into another relationship and getting pregnant might not have been wise, but what’s done is done. I would proceed this new relationship with caution. Just because you’re becoming parents doesn’t mean you’re actually in love or compatible.
>I received divorce papers in December or January
YTA, a human would have remembered, bad AI.
What the heck do you mean you both signed papers saying you could have relationships? That’s just weird and doesn’t ring true
NTA. Block her! She has no right to continue to contact you. You need to move on with your new gf and baby.
I’d wager there was a lot more to the reasons for divorce.
While your actions seem desperate and foolish, I hope it works out for you and especially that little boy.
Your life is none of your former wife’s business.
Depends were you still begging not to have the divorce while you’re GF was pregnant?
NTA.
She got what she wanted when she initiated the divorce. She can’t have her cake and eat it, too.
NTA the moment she filed for divorce she no longer had a say in your life. Block her
Cut the cord, no, not that one. The other one.
Y’all broke up. Your personal life is none of your ex’s business. You owe your ex nothing.
As for jumping into things, that’s your choice. No judgement… You do you. Good luck .
Why are you keeping her in your life. Focus on your family. She is the past. You don’t owe her anything. You owe your new family a little respect, move on from your ex ex-wife. It’s over.
This is a train wreck and I’m not even sure where to start attempting advice.
There’s no way you properly vetted the new girlfriend as a prospective partner and coparent in just a few months.
Rebound relationships are almost always entered with clouded judgement.
Reconciling with the wife would have been the best option by far, but that’s impossible now.
Godspeed.
NTA
She pushed for the divorce, you need to keep your distance from her. Your therapist is right, your ex deserves nothing from you going forward.
Focus on your new relationship and live your life
NTA. Her AP dumped her and she found out what she imagined is not the reality. Enjoy your life.
Some states may consider it a common law marriage. 2 years marriage plus 7 years prior relationship. Hope you don’t owe her a monthly payment.
What are you doing? You have no more ties to that woman. Block her and move on, or you risk ruining your new relationship and being a single father. Trust me, NO GOOD will come from you talking to your ex that openly wants to get back together with you. There is 0 reason to leave that door open unless you actually want her attention, and if that’s the case then I truly feel sorry for your new gf and child.
I guess the guy she was interested in, turned out to be a dud and now she wants you back. Too late, you need to block her.
Sorry but most likely the new one won’t last that is way to fast to develop the relationship with longing relationship her poor kid is going to get hurt cause adults can be alone I can see why you’re ex divorced you no way you loved her to move on in what months
Get some T shots, why are you worried about her opinion? She dumped you.
NTA! Life goes forward.
NTA.
She’s just coming to terms with the consequences of her actions.
I’m not sure what she was expecting – for you to be single forever?
Good for you that you found someone to share love with.
I can empathize with her pain – I’m sure I would feel similarly.
But it’s really her fault for filing for divorce, especially.
Yikes YTA all around. Why did you start a family before you even healed. Geez dude.
NTA – nah, you good bro. Congratulations on your new family. Go be happy!
You’re both ass holes lol
NTA
She wanted a divorce, she got one: she can start liking it. It’s not your fault that her little game backfired.