I’m a 25F and currently live with my aunt, her husband and two kids (16 and 3). The 3yo is potentially on the spectrum but my aunt keeps putting off getting him evaluated. He’s obsessed with cars, trains and dinosaurs at the moment, and has a wooden train set with tracks. He has a habit of trying to roll them on his play rug instead of the tracks, and we have tile floors.
So, when his trains roll over the grout they tend to fall over, and when they do he gets upset, really upset. He tends to make noises when he’s upset, but god when the trains fall. It’s not a grunt or a pout. He screams, loud and shrill. And he’ll do it over and over and over again. Even if we put the trains on the track he’ll put them back on floor and the cycle repeats.
I was watching him, and he had a particularly rough day, especially with his train. So, after I put him down for his afternoon nap I took his train and track buckets and locked them away in a cabinet for the rest of the anfternoon until his mother got home, which was only another 2-3 hours. I told her what happened after she asked why I took his toys as I was bringing them out to put them away I. his toy cupboard, and I told her. I tried everything; helping him fix it, redirection, telling him to stop screaming, but nothing was working. So yes, I got fed up and took his toys for the afternoon. He honestly wasn’t even affected by it and spend the afternoon playing with his dinosaurs and magnets instead.
She thinks it was an asshole move to resort to hiding his toys from him, but what else was I supposed to do? I sure as hell wasn’t going to sit there and listen to him scream all day because he won’t just pick the trains up and keep them on the track. I love her kids, I really do, but there’s nothing I hate more than hearing a child scream, especially that constantly. Looking back, I do feel bad, but I’d exhausted all my other options and wasn’t going to fight fire with fire by yelling at him because what example does that set? That I can yell and scream but he can’t?
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I’m a 25F and currently live with my aunt, her husband and two kids (16 and 3). The 3yo is potentially on the spectrum but my aunt keeps putting off getting him evaluated. He’s obsessed with cars, trains and dinosaurs at the moment, and has a wooden train set with tracks. He has a habit of trying to roll them on his play rug instead of the tracks, and we have tile floors.
So, when his trains roll over the grout they tend to fall over, and when they do he gets upset, really upset. He tends to make noises when he’s upset, but god when the trains fall. It’s not a grunt or a pout. He screams, loud and shrill. And he’ll do it over and over and over again. Even if we put the trains on the track he’ll put them back on floor and the cycle repeats.
I was watching him, and he had a particularly rough day, especially with his train. So, after I put him down for his afternoon nap I took his train and track buckets and locked them away in a cabinet for the rest of the anfternoon until his mother got home, which was only another 2-3 hours. I told her what happened after she asked why I took his toys as I was bringing them out to put them away I. his toy cupboard, and I told her. I tried everything; helping him fix it, redirection, telling him to stop screaming, but nothing was working. So yes, I got fed up and took his toys for the afternoon. He honestly wasn’t even affected by it and spend the afternoon playing with his dinosaurs and magnets instead.
She thinks it was an asshole move to resort to hiding his toys from him, but what else was I supposed to do? I sure as hell wasn’t going to sit there and listen to him scream all day because he won’t just pick the trains up and keep them on the track. I love her kids, I really do, but there’s nothing I hate more than hearing a child scream, especially that constantly. Looking back, I do feel bad, but I’d exhausted all my other options and wasn’t going to fight fire with fire by yelling at him because what example does that set? That I can yell and scream but he can’t?
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> I took my aunt’s son’s toy trains away for a few hours because he wouldn’t stop screaming every time they fell over, and I might have been an asshole for it.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA! The kid obviously redirected after the nap just fine, out of sight out of mind is always a good option. You didn’t take the toys you just put them away so he wouldn’t fixate on them after his nap. This works, why would she think this was an asshole move. I used to do this with my son as a baby/ toddler all the time. Sometimes he would notice and look around but not finding it right away would go play with something in front of him.
So…. are you in any way, shape or form trained to keep track of kids? Let alone one that is on the spectrum Because you sound awful.
You hid a 3 year olds toys. Jesus christ…
NTA, especially given that you waited for nap time and saw that he was happy with his other toys. Redirecting a child who is having trouble regulating themself is genuinely a great method.
You did great! Your aunt and uncle, OTOH, are true AHs for refusing to do right by him and get him evaluated and for not helping him learn to regulate his emotions.
NTA – The trains were causing him stress and you eliminated that stress in a gentle way for him. If he woke up from a nap, and was fine without the trains, you helped him. Also, it’s ok to not want to listen to constant screams or racket.
NTA redirection is good for any child having trouble with a toy or task or activity. You didn’t put him in a cold stark room, he just played with other toys for a while.
NTA – I’d think differently if you’d have snapped in anger and hid them away while he cried for his favorite toys. But putting them out of sight so he can move onto another activity peacefully after nap? That’s so tame. Unless there’s another solution for the trains (like on a piece of cardboard, or a different rug, something like that) or another way to play with them… I think it’s alright they get put away during certain times of the day regularly. But maybe keep an eye out for a long term solution!
I think you’re ok as long as, had her been upset for more than a minute or two after waking up and having a snack, you were prepared to return them. The way you present it in the title is of course horrendous
i feel like this is such a solvable issue. just get a flat surface to put the tracks on.
NTA, I’ve done similar with my own toddler. It’s a form of redirection and you even did so while he was napping. There’s a decent chance he only briefly realized they were missing before moving on to more productive play — and by that I mean play that isn’t upsetting him.
NTA – clearly he had other toys available that he was able to play with that didn’t cause him constant distress like the train toy. He wasn’t upset anymore. Sounds like redirecting him to a less upsetting activity worked out fine. It’s not like you slapped the toy out of his hand.
NTA
Your title is misleading. You hid the toys that were triggering a special needs child and the redirection worked! The kid was happy playing with other toys.
You did what was necessary to keep a kid happy while babysitting. Your aunt is nuts for picking on you about this.
yes, you are the a hole.
NTA and as the adult it’s absolutely your job to assess the situation and deem what is best for the child. If he becomes overstimulated by a situation and repeatedly ignores the redirection, hide them. You did a great job waiting until he went down for a nap so there would be no more issues.
Do you know how many times I’ve taken a slide whistle from my own child and hidden it for days????
NTA
NTA. He played dinosaurs instead of trains & it was fine. Although I hope you would’ve given the trains back if he was distressed by their disappearance.