This happened just a few hours ago. I am a 19 year old man and the people calling me an asshole are 18 year old men and women.
On Thursday, a person I had a major crush on in high school (but who rejected me) messaged me out of the blue. She had never contacted me without my contacting her first, and at one point I realized she had had me blocked on social media, and so I found it odd that she was suddenly being friendly. After sending a couple of greetings/questions about how I’ve been, she said that she was going to have some people over and wanted to know if I would get the beer. The drinking age where we are is 19, and she and the people who were going to chill were all 18. The liquor stores in my area all card.
I thought it was silly that my being a month older meant I could buy liquor and they couldn’t, and so I said I would love to go. She said “thanks, I’ll pick you up at seven!”
7 o’clock rolled around, and she texted me to say she was in front of my house. I went out dressed and ready to chill with some people, and she drove me to the liquor store. When we got there, I asked what beer she wanted me to get, and she told me to get Budweiser. I hid my disappointment as well as I could, but it was her party so I went in and bought two cases of 24.
I got back in the car and said “let’s party,” and she was eerily quiet. I noticed that she wasn’t driving towards her neighborhood, but rather back towards mine. I thought she had moved or something, but didn’t want to press the issue. When she turned down my street I finally figured it out. She was being purposefully vague about the invitation because she wanted me to get the beer, but she wanted a way out when she told me I wasn’t actually invited in the first place.
She stopped in front of my house, leaned over, kissed me on the cheek, and said “thanks!” in her best voice. I deadpanned her and asked when she was going to tell me I wasn’t invited. She feigned surprise and said that she never intended to invite me in the first place. I sat in silence for a long awkward minute, picked up the beer, and walked towards my front door. She got out of her car and frantically tried to reinvite me to the party, but I told her that what she did was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me. I opened my front door, slammed it a bit too hard, and came back to my room.
Now I’m sitting here drinking absolutely unpalatable piss water, and I have text messages from all of her friends and her asking me why I’m being such a dick. I don’t think I’m the asshole for reacting the way I did, but if you haven’t figured it out I’m not amazing socially so I’m not sure. Am I here?
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This happened just a few hours ago. I am a 19 year old man and the people calling me an asshole are 18 year old men and women.
On Thursday, a person I had a major crush on in high school (but who rejected me) messaged me out of the blue. She had never contacted me without my contacting her first, and at one point I realized she had had me blocked on social media, and so I found it odd that she was suddenly being friendly. After sending a couple of greetings/questions about how I’ve been, she said that she was going to have some people over and wanted to know if I would get the beer. The drinking age where we are is 19, and she and the people who were going to chill were all 18. The liquor stores in my area all card.
I thought it was silly that my being a month older meant I could buy liquor and they couldn’t, and so I said I would love to go. She said “thanks, I’ll pick you up at seven!”
7 o’clock rolled around, and she texted me to say she was in front of my house. I went out dressed and ready to chill with some people, and she drove me to the liquor store. When we got there, I asked what beer she wanted me to get, and she told me to get Budweiser. I hid my disappointment as well as I could, but it was her party so I went in and bought two cases of 24.
I got back in the car and said “let’s party,” and she was eerily quiet. I noticed that she wasn’t driving towards her neighborhood, but rather back towards mine. I thought she had moved or something, but didn’t want to press the issue. When she turned down my street I finally figured it out. She was being purposefully vague about the invitation because she wanted me to get the beer, but she wanted a way out when she told me I wasn’t actually invited in the first place.
She stopped in front of my house, leaned over, kissed me on the cheek, and said “thanks!” in her best voice. I deadpanned her and asked when she was going to tell me I wasn’t invited. She feigned surprise and said that she never intended to invite me in the first place. I sat in silence for a long awkward minute, picked up the beer, and walked towards my front door. She got out of her car and frantically tried to reinvite me to the party, but I told her that what she did was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me. I opened my front door, slammed it a bit too hard, and came back to my room.
Now I’m sitting here drinking absolutely unpalatable piss water, and I have text messages from all of her friends and her asking me why I’m being such a dick. I don’t think I’m the asshole for reacting the way I did, but if you haven’t figured it out I’m not amazing socially so I’m not sure. Am I here?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I went to a party but I was clearly unwelcome so I took the beer back that I was meant to bring along with me, and that may make me the asshole as I’ve likely ruined it for a lot of others who were there.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
YTA. where you turn into the asshole is in how you responded. You took the beer back inside after she drove you and even thanked you.
Then, you slammed the door in her face and left her and her friends without alcohol, which was the entire reason she brought you along in the first place. Now, you’re sitting there drinking the beer by yourself, even though you clearly think it’s disgusting, purely out of spite.
That’s not a proportionate or mature response. That’s petty vengeance. You didn’t just walk away from a crappy situation, you escalated it. You made a choice to “punish” her in a way that was designed to create drama, not to resolve anything. And now, unsurprisingly, you’re getting messages from her friends because you poured gas on the fire.
It would’ve been far more respectful to yourself to simply say, “Wow, that’s really messed up,” hand her the beer, and walk away knowing you’d taken the high road. That’s dignity. That’s control. That’s power.
Instead, you turned it into a scene.
The moral of the story is..NEVER BUY BUDWEISER!
So the cow used you just for the horse piss and then wanted to dump you at home.
Fuck her and her clown shoes friends.
NTA.
NTA – that was incredibly disrespectful to you.
NTA but she is a TA. She used you. End of story. She did say she would use you though. She told you to get the beer and she didn’t say you were invited, you just assumed you were. She is an asshole for that, but you allowed it to happen so grow some self esteem and be away from her. Sounds like she likes to play games and use people and that is not nice. I think you did the right thing to get your beer back. Don’t overthink. You did the right thing for sure. Hope she learned her lesson.
NTA – What she did was immature, and inexcusable. Did she really expect you to buy beer for a party you weren’t invited to?
Pathetic.
NTA at all. She totally catfished you so that she could get alchohol then pulled a bait and switch like “oh you thought you were invited?” Of course you did and she knew it. What a horrible girl, you dodged a bullet. And the people calling you an asshole aren’t your friends, they’re just pissed off they can’t get drunk and blaming you because THEY are a bunch of assholes. Fuck all those people, hard, twice.
NTA! She used you and expected you to basically pay for her party that you were not invited to. It would have been different if she gave you the money and asked if you could pick it up for her. To tell you as she was dropping you off back at your house that you aren’t invited is super rude.
You did the right thing
I’m confused. Did she say that you will be reimbursed for the beer? If yes, then she wanted you to buy it cause the couldn’t.
You’re the AH for knowingly buying beer to people who are under the legal age! Don’t know what the consequences are if got caught where you live, but in my country this action could result in criminal charges.
Karma is a real thing bro, enjoy your Budweiser and smile.
Look, this has nothing to do with being social or not, this has to do with you having, thankfully, respect for yourself. This girl made use of your feelings for her to get what she wanted and when she got what she wanted, she couldn’t care less about you. Same for her friends. Yes, you were humiliated and no, you’re NTA. This girl is far too used to everyone else playing her stupid game, so kudos to you for standing up for yourself!
NTA. But well done for not just going along with her plans. Hilarious that she thought you’d just do what she wanted. She tried to play games. You won.
NTA — one of the clearer ones on here ever. You’re basically the victim of a (petty) crime tbh (maybe not literally but in principle for sure).
NTA. You’re too mature for this crowd. Elevate.