I (16f) am on vacation with my cousins (15f and 17f) and my cousin’s cousins from the side of the family i’m not related to (they’re a big family but the only ones relevant to this story are 14m and maybe twin girls, 11.) I have on and off lived with my aunt and uncle my whole life so I am very close to my cousins and semi familiar with their cousins – we sometimes celebrate holidays/events together, but I don’t really consider them my family.
All that to say, today me and all the cousins were getting ready to go to the beach and my younger cousin (i’ll call her C) was taking a long time in the bathroom because she was trying to put a tampon in for the first time. I was outside the door because the lock on that bathroom is kind of broken and doesn’t always work and the 14 year old (A) was there basically just being annoying and trying to make C get ready faster. Eventually C says something about how he doesn’t get to rush her because he doesn’t have to deal with a period and A has no idea what she’s talking about. I tell him to go ask his mom and he runs off and I assume that’s the end of it.
Later when were at the beach A comes back to me and says that his mom won’t tell him and I’m like did she say why? and he’s like she said it’s only for girls to know and I kinda laugh and my cousins are like that’s kinda ridiculous and so A asks again and eventually I read off like the planned parenthood definition off my phone. A is like does that happen to my mom and sisters and I’m like maybe but don’t ask them about it it’s rude, he asks if there’s anything he can do to help C and were like not really and then he runs off to go play in the water or something.
Then A’s mom blows up at me at dinner saying I was telling him things he couldn’t understand and that me and my cousins were always trying to corrupt him. While everyone I have talked about this with has said his mom overreacted people are split about whether or not I was also in the wrong for telling him what I did.
I will say A has something developmentally going on, he can be a lot more immature and like hyperactive than other people his age and he was homeschooled for a time I think because he couldn’t handle regular middle school but even then I’m pretty sure I was told the basics of this kind of thing in early elementary school and I wasn’t traumatized or anything lol.
I will accept my verdict though, AITA?
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I (16f) am on vacation with my cousins (15f and 17f) and my cousin’s cousins from the side of the family i’m not related to (they’re a big family but the only ones relevant to this story are 14m and maybe twin girls, 11.) I have on and off lived with my aunt and uncle my whole life so I am very close to my cousins and semi familiar with their cousins – we sometimes celebrate holidays/events together, but I don’t really consider them my family.
All that to say, today me and all the cousins were getting ready to go to the beach and my younger cousin (i’ll call her C) was taking a long time in the bathroom because she was trying to put a tampon in for the first time. I was outside the door because the lock on that bathroom is kind of broken and doesn’t always work and the 14 year old (A) was there basically just being annoying and trying to make C get ready faster. Eventually C says something about how he doesn’t get to rush her because he doesn’t have to deal with a period and A has no idea what she’s talking about. I tell him to go ask his mom and he runs off and I assume that’s the end of it.
Later when were at the beach A comes back to me and says that his mom won’t tell him and I’m like did she say why? and he’s like she said it’s only for girls to know and I kinda laugh and my cousins are like that’s kinda ridiculous and so A asks again and eventually I read off like the planned parenthood definition off my phone. A is like does that happen to my mom and sisters and I’m like maybe but don’t ask them about it it’s rude, he asks if there’s anything he can do to help C and were like not really and then he runs off to go play in the water or something.
Then A’s mom blows up at me at dinner saying I was telling him things he couldn’t understand and that me and my cousins were always trying to corrupt him. While everyone I have talked about this with has said his mom overreacted people are split about whether or not I was also in the wrong for telling him what I did.
I will say A has something developmentally going on, he can be a lot more immature and like hyperactive than other people his age and he was homeschooled for a time I think because he couldn’t handle regular middle school but even then I’m pretty sure I was told the basics of this kind of thing in early elementary school and I wasn’t traumatized or anything lol.
I will accept my verdict though, AITA?
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> I told my cousin’s cousin what a period was and I may be the asshole for it because his mom said she wouldn’t tell him and I did anyways.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Nta
He’s 14, I don’t know what age sex education is where you are but surely he should or would have learned about it. And he needed to know because his sisters would be going through it soon, if not already.
Your aunt is an idiot
NTA – my son knew what a period was as a toddler. It’s a natural part of being a human and nothing shameful.
NTA by the age of 14 both genders should know the reproductive of both males/females. The AH is the mom for not explaining to her son what a period is for females.
NTA. Absurd to think of a 14 year old not having a rudimentary understanding of this.
NTA jesus A’s mom sounds exhausting. imagine her having this reaction if you were to have explained any other bodily function to him. say for example you told him about the 5000 sweat glands everyone’s palms have. how exactly does learning about the human body “corrupt” people, even if it’s related to the opposite sex? i will never understand people who are like this.
He’s 14, he should have learned that by now. Whether it’s happening to him or not (as in this case), it is a normal part of the human experience: NTA!
NTA. this is why we need sex education. why shouldn’t a 14 year old boy know what periods are? most of the girls he knows likely have periods at that age. his mother is weird
NTA
He asked you for information, and you gave it to him. When kids ask questions, they’re usually ready. He’s 14. He should know what a period is by now.
Telling her kid it’s only for girls to know about? Saying you corrupted him? Absolutely not. This is health. Men and women should understand each other’s bodies. He should absolutely know what is going on with a woman’s body, sex ed, etc. She’s not preparing him for life. You did the right thing. If he were a young child, I’d say it wouldn’t be your place, but at 14 it’s obvious mom’s not going to teach him.
Girl. NTA. My almost five year old son has known about periods since he was three. I don’t hide it and I answer his questions as they arise. And like he is a literal toddler so. I think an immature 14 year old is fine to know about it too.
NTA.
NTA, the mother is a giant AH though. I could give a basic, accurate, description of menstruation at age 12. I also knew the rudiments of reproduction.
I’ll bet her kids have no idea on any of those topics.
Hardcore NTA. Where do you live? Where I grew up we’d had human growth and development lessons that went over this multiple times.
NTA. Thanks for educating the kid where his mom couldn’t 😳🤦♀️
I knew what a period was way before 14 by then he should have known
Not at all! You were trying to provide your cousin at least a basic education on a basic biological process.
NTA
A seems like a good kid. A’s mom, not so much. Its not like you showed him gore-filled images, you just said stuff, and in a “planned parenthood” definiton. How long did A’s Mom think she was going to get away with hiding this ‘secret’.
NTA. Maybe he missed sex ed or learning about that in biology because he was homeschooled but it’s not at all absurd for him to know about it, it’s relatively basic reproductive health.
100% NTA, even tho7gh it does sound like he may be Autistic or ADHd, if he’s capable of curiosity he’s capable of understanding. My nephew is 14 and is Autistic and AdHD and for sure knows exactly what a period is. He’s bot traumatized by it 🤦♀️
NTA the mom is! Some kids at that age are even exploring… it’s necessary for them to understand the physiology. Also periods aren’t gross. 50% of the population does/has/will experience them, it shouldn’t be a taboo topic.
Not at all. My kids learned about periods when they were 3 because they wouldn’t give me any privacy 😂 I explained in an age-appropriate manner and that was that. Not telling a 14 year old boy because “it’s only for girls to know” is flat out horrible parenting.
Explaining a very normal thing facilitates understanding and empathy for an experience that is shared by half of the population. Being all weird and secretive about it is exactly why there is a depressing lack of research on female bodies.
NTA. I only have a daughter, but my friends were explaining basic biology stuff to their sons in elementary school. It starts being taught around 4th grade in schools because that’s when kids should already know, tbh, though parents can opt their kids out of it. You didn’t editorialize, you didn’t seek him out to tell him. You did nothing wrong
NTA NTA NTA
Basic human bodily functions should be taught to every kid regardless of gender, and 14 is waaayyyyyy too late for a kid to not know what 50% of his age peers are experiencing.
(This is how you get full-grown adult men who think women pee out of their vaginas and that we can hold our periods in at will)
NTA-at all. 1) my 7 year olds have a somewhat understanding due to “what are those?” questions (like a box of tampons) or “GIVE ME A SECOND” (me yelling from the bathroom) 2) normalizing “sensitive” issues across the gender spectrum in turn raises adults that are themselves sensitive and aware of the needs in their various relationships.
NTA. Sounds like his mom isn’t ever planning to tell him which is a huge disservice to him. Plus he could always google it🤷🏼♀️
Eta You girls handled it brilliantly by the way!
NTA, A’s mom is setting him up to be an incel, developmental issues aside, that shit should not be a secret for anyone over the age of like, 9, honestly.
NTA. If he has any hope of understanding women in the future, he needs to know what a period is. He should have already learned about it in school. His mom is ridiculous.
If A’s mother thought explaining periods to a 14-year-old is going to corrupt him, she probably has some sort of issue associated with the topic and/or related ones. Meaning those topics are difficult for HER to deal with. Maybe she finds them shameful; maybe she finds anything to do with reproduction shameful. Does she have a brother? Maybe in her home she was told never to tell the males in the family about her period.
I want to say NTA, but you did deliberately do something you knew A’s mother didn’t want you to do. No matter how strongly you disagree with her, it’s still her call.
NTA While it’s the moms choice to not tell him, the kid was obviously curious and would have found out anyway. Better he find out from a good source than some podcaster
As a mother, I wonder if A’s mother might be treading around a sensitivity or something with A, so was avoiding it. But also as a mother, my son is 6 and knows what menstruation is.
I think A benefits from having female cousins that will fill the gaps his mother is reluctant to. NTA, especially for bothering to look for an impartial definition.
NTA, developmental difficulties or is mom coddling him.
NTA.
It does remind me of when I met my moms boyfriends son, he’s like 8 and I was just talking to my mom about a story from when I was pregnant, and I said “my hormones were crazy”
He was like “what are hormones”
so I gave him the basics and I told him hormones are something everyone has and that they do all kinds of stuff like make you sleepy and that hormones even make you feel happy or stressed.
& his dad got mad at me like I told him how I got pregnant or something
No you are not
Here’s the thing… A may have something developmentally going on, as you put it. But that won’t necessarily stop him from entering into a relationship and getting someone pregnant. He still needs this information (and frankly, he needs a lot more of it!) You are NTA.
NTA
Parents like that are why I have patients who are literal children and are on sex offender registries, FFS..
NTA his mom is nuts though and really doing him a great disservice. It sounds like maybe your cousin has adhd ? I can’t diagnose I’m not a doctor but your description kinda sounds like that. I’ve got a son who is almost 10 (has adhd) and he’s known since he was 6/7yrs old what a period is because I experience them and well…kids don’t really understand bathroom privacy too well lol. He understood it, had sympathy for me, and then literally ran off to my bathroom to grab me a tampon 😂, I was in his bathroom when it started. He’s 10 and can easily explain the basics of a period to anyone. It’s not that big of a deal and it’s part of life for all women.
NTA
If he’s old enough to ask, he’s old enough to ask, he’s old enough to know.
Will someone do something about period troll? Sheesh
Corrupted him??? WTAF?
If girls can get their periods at the age of 10, and manage to cope, boys at 14 should AT LEAST know about it. It’s a simple biological function, it’s like saying “you taught my son about how lungs breathe air and traumatized him forever!” More men should be WAY better educated on how reproduction works!
NTA
Nta,
Do they not teach sex ed where your cousins go to school?
NTA and from what you’ve said about he can be immature, but in this instance he was extremely mature and very sweet when asking if there was any way he could help.
Boys absolutely need to know about periods, they don’t need graphic details, but certainly enough information to know why sometimes a girl they hang out with might be not be in the best mood and/or uncomfortable and maybe in pain, and ways in which they might be able help with that. Even if it’s just arranging a day of playing video games in a pillow fort!
He’s old enough to have been menstruating for years if he was female. He is developmently skilled enough to ask about it, ask and adult, and come back to you to get the true answer. He should know. The assholes are the adults who didn’t tell him. If they aren’t educating him on reproductive health and physiology, I’m worried for him. He likely isn’t being educated on bodily autonomy, consent, and family planning. He needs some facts.
NTA!
Periods are a biological things that happen to every healthy woman. That 14 year old is surrounded by people who menstruate and will be when he is older, especially if he marries a woman and/or has a daughter. He is old enough to ask, so he is old enough to know. It is not a shameful thing.
People really need to stop acting taboo about it.
NTA.
This is how we get state legislators who fight against tampons in high schools because “why can’t they hold it until they get to a bathroom”
NTA, sounds like his mom is sheltering him and probably contributing to his immaturity.
NTA. That mom is horrible, but good on the boy for immediately asking if he can do anything to help once he was informed.
At age 14, he needs to know. Girls – including future girlfriends – are having periods, & he needs to know enough to be compassionate & understanding! I like that one of his first responses was to ask how he could help – that sounds thoughtful!! I suppose his mom was trying to protect his innocence or something, but age 14 is definitely old enough to need to know.
Nta. Even if something is going on, he still has the hormones of a teenager and all those physical changes going on. You are giving him vital knowledge about female mammals and reproduction. Human and other mammals. It is not corrupting him. It is giving him the tools he will need to function.
NTA. You gave his mother the chance to tell him the way she wanted to. She didn’t. He’s 14. Someone needs to tell him.
NTA
A14yo boy not knowing what a period is is utterly ridiculous. What else doesn’t he know that he needs to know?
NTA. Don’t worry about it.
“It’s only for girls to know” so this is why we have grown men who are married with teenage daughters believing they use tampons as “toys” when they don’t want to be a part of something.
NTA. Boys need education just as much as girls because what happens if he’s a single father taking care of a teenage girl? Js
NTA. The shame around periods should not exist till date. Periods should not be a taboo topic still. So a 14 year old is fine knowing coz even at 10 some girls already experience it