So I (21F) have been dating this guy (26M) for a few weeks somewhere in between 2-3. Nothing super serious yet just a handful of dates, texting almost every day, and a few chill nights hanging out. We had really good chemistry and it felt like we were on the same page.
A few days ago, I told him that I do OnlyFans. I brought it up pretty casually, not in a dramatic or “I have to confess something” way. I just figured that if we were moving toward something more serious, he should know. I didn’t feel like I was hiding it before, but we hadn’t had that kind of talk until then.
He said he appreciated me being honest, and didn’t really react negatively in the moment. But ever since, he’s been really distant. He barely texts anymore unless I message first, and even then it feels dry. He hasn’t brought it up again, and neither have I, but the vibe is completely different now. It’s like a switch flipped.
Now I’m wondering if I messed things up by saying something too soon. I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal I’m independent, safe, and it’s something I chose to do. I didn’t push it on him, wasn’t trying to shock him, I just wanted to be transparent.
My best friend (22F) told me better sooner than later
So AITA for bringing it up and maybe changing how he saw me? maybe I should have been upfront about it from the beginning?
Comments
No, you did the right thing by telling him.
Does he see you differently now? As a man yes I would see you differently
NTA: Not everybody can handle that, especially if you are with someone else on your onlyfans.
No saying something is the best thing, now you know you’re not compatible. Leaving it longer does nothing but extend hurt feelings.
NTA it’s important to recognize what some people see as deal breakers and address them early.
You’re not an asshole for bringing it up, it’s good that you told him. But maybe you’re just not compatible, and he would like a girlfriend with a different job?
No decent guy will get too involved with someone that does OF. Better to get it out of the way sooner than later
Your friend was right. It would hurt more if this happened further in. NTA
NTA. Good that you told him early on.
BUT, what girls who do OnlyFans will never understand is this – if someone can purchase your intimate moments for $4.99 for a month, why does it seem fair to you to make the other person who wants a genuine relationship work for it? This is the crux of any guy not wanting to date an OF model. You gave it away so easily, possibly even free. But, now, I have to work for it?😂
NAH (I think I’ve used that right)
I agree with your friend, sooner rather than later. It’s a good thing he didn’t react negatively, but he is free to choose his partner, and this looks like it’s a deal breaker for him.
Send an onlyfans link
NTA. It was gonna come up eventually and I agree with your bf, better now while you guys were still getting to know each other than later when more would’ve been invested. You don’t need someone who is going to judge you for your line of work
Nobody wants an OF girl, no respectable guys anyway
What normal guys translate as “I do only fans” to…I take my clothes off for money. Any high value man won’t take that seriously.
You advertising campaign seems to be going well. This is the third time I’ve read this post today, in different subs.
I am going to go out on a ledge and say NAH. You didn’t do anything wrong by telling him. Your best friend is right that sooner is better than later. You were honest and that is the best thing he could ask for. Unfortunately some people are not comfortable with OnlyFans and it seems like he may be one of them.The only thing I could fault him for is not being straight up with you but he may not know how he feels about it. I would just ask him if he lost interest and go from there. Dragging this out will just cause more confusion in the long run.
The majority of men view it as a deal breaker
NTA he probably just doesn’t wanna date someone who does onlyfans a lot of guys don’t