My sister (18F) takes anything I (20F) own and hides it in her room. She takes my clothes, my underwear, my deodorant—anything. I can’t get them back because she locks her door. My door, however, doesn’t lock.
She often removes the necklines of my tops and crops them so I no longer feel comfortable wearing them. I thrift most of my clothes, so they cannot be easily replaced. I had a NASA crewneck from a school trip to the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. She took it and cut out the neckline. When I confronted her, I never saw it again. I think she threw it away so she wouldn’t get in trouble.
Another time, my facewash disappeared from the shower. She denied taking it, but I found it in her bathroom underneath her sink. The thing is, she had the SAME FACEWASH on the counter. She took the one I paid for even though she had a full bottle.
The worst of it happened before I left for college. I’m in a long-term relationship with my partner (19). We bought a sex toy together. I wrapped it in a shirt and stuffed it under some old clothes in my dresser. During break, we went to grab it, but it was gone. We tore my room apart looking for it. As a last resort, I looked under her sink, and there it was, clearly used.
When I told her I’d found it, she claimed she’d been hiding it for me, then screamed at me for going into her room. My partner wanted me to tell my dad, but I didn’t want him to know about it.
Yesterday, I found her wearing my favorite crewneck that had been in my room. I was livid, but I just told her to leave it by my door. An hour later, she was still wearing it, so I demanded she take it off. She acted as put-off as usual but changed and handed it over. My partner, who’d been there all morning, went to shower, so I went to grab my phone charger. Only, the cord wasn’t there.
I barged into my sister’s room, demanding it back. I lost it when she told me that she didn’t have it. We screamed at each other until she began to cry. While arguing with her, I saw more things that she could only have gotten from my room. I finally told her that if she went through my room again, I’d throw away everything she owned. I went back to my room to wait for my partner.
Only, I found my charger rolled up on my bed. I knew my sister couldn’t have put it there. My partner got out of the shower and told me that they’d found it during the shouting.
I just stuffed it in my dresser. It was cruel, but I knew if I told my sister and apologized, she would use it as another opportunity to call me crazy and say that she never takes anything of mine.
My sister’s boyfriend came over to see her. After a while, her boyfriend came out of her room and gently told me that she was sobbing, and that maybe I should go talk to her. He’s not the confrontational type, so coming from him, it was a shock. I’m starting to think that maybe I should just keep the peace while I’m back home for the summer. AITA?
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My sister (18F) takes anything I (20F) own and hides it in her room. She takes my clothes, my underwear, my deodorant—anything. I can’t get them back because she locks her door. My door, however, doesn’t lock.
She often removes the necklines of my tops and crops them so I no longer feel comfortable wearing them. I thrift most of my clothes, so they cannot be easily replaced. I had a NASA crewneck from a school trip to the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. She took it and cut out the neckline. When I confronted her, I never saw it again. I think she threw it away so she wouldn’t get in trouble.
Another time, my facewash disappeared from the shower. She denied taking it, but I found it in her bathroom underneath her sink. The thing is, she had the SAME FACEWASH on the counter. She took the one I paid for even though she had a full bottle.
The worst of it happened before I left for college. I’m in a long-term relationship with my partner (19). We bought a sex toy together. I wrapped it in a shirt and stuffed it under some old clothes in my dresser. During break, we went to grab it, but it was gone. We tore my room apart looking for it. As a last resort, I looked under her sink, and there it was, clearly used.
When I told her I’d found it, she claimed she’d been hiding it for me, then screamed at me for going into her room. My partner wanted me to tell my dad, but I didn’t want him to know about it.
Yesterday, I found her wearing my favorite crewneck that had been in my room. I was livid, but I just told her to leave it by my door. An hour later, she was still wearing it, so I demanded she take it off. She acted as put-off as usual but changed and handed it over. My partner, who’d been there all morning, went to shower, so I went to grab my phone charger. Only, the cord wasn’t there.
I barged into my sister’s room, demanding it back. I lost it when she told me that she didn’t have it. We screamed at each other until she began to cry. While arguing with her, I saw more things that she could only have gotten from my room. I finally told her that if she went through my room again, I’d throw away everything she owned. I went back to my room to wait for my partner.
Only, I found my charger rolled up on my bed. I knew my sister couldn’t have put it there. My partner got out of the shower and told me that they’d found it during the shouting.
I just stuffed it in my dresser. It was cruel, but I knew if I told my sister and apologized, she would use it as another opportunity to call me crazy and say that she never takes anything of mine.
My sister’s boyfriend came over to see her. After a while, her boyfriend came out of her room and gently told me that she was sobbing, and that maybe I should go talk to her. He’s not the confrontational type, so coming from him, it was a shock. I’m starting to think that maybe I should just keep the peace while I’m back home for the summer. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I accused my sister of stealing my charger and told her I’d throw away everything she owns if she ever goes in my room again. I may be the asshole because I found out she didn’t take it and didn’t apologize.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Not only is it pretty gross to use someone else’s underwear and sex toys, it’s also just plain disrespectful to you.
If I were you, I would go buy a doorknob with a lock and key from somewhere like Home Depot or other home hardware stores. They can be pretty cheap if you don’t want anything fancy and pretty easy to install for yourself if you watch a YouTube Tutorial or something similar.
Also, your sister is an adult. It IS property damage and I’m not saying you should call the police because that might be a bit much, but you should definitely make her pay you for the things she cuts or rips. If it’s thrifted, it won’t be much but the money will add up. Have her pay you the 5-7 bucks every time you find a shirt she cropped without your permission, then if it persists and you have a log of things she ruins, you should threaten legal action (suing for the money loss)
Call the cops. This is theft.
NTA, have your boyfriend swap out the door handle for a locking one.
nta she is totally weird and inconsiderate. start taking her stuff and see how she likes it
NTA. You’re an adult, buy a locking knob set and watch a YouTube video on how to install it. Give your dad a key for emergencies if you feel the need to, but there’s no reason for not securing your stuff since your sister is a klepto.