So I (21F) moved from Switzerland to the U.S. last year for college and I’ve been dating this guy (23M) for 6 months now. He’s sweet and funny but lately I’ve been noticing some differences in how he treats me compared to guys I dated back home.
Like… he never opens doors for me, doesn’t plan dates, always splits everything 50/50 even when he knows I’m broke, and one time literally said “you’re not my mom” when I asked him to clean his own dishes. 🙃
I didn’t say anything for a while because I didn’t wanna be that girl who complains all the time, but last week we were talking and I kinda just blurted out, “Honestly, Swiss guys would never act like this lol.”
He got really offended and started calling me “ungrateful” and said I’m “comparing him to my exes.” He slept on the couch that night and said I embarrassed him and made him feel “less of a man.”
I feel bad for saying it like that, but I also feel like I’m allowed to express what I’m used to…?
So Reddit… AITA for telling him that Swiss guys treat women better?
Comments
NTA because he seems like he is a manchild
NTA but honestly its six months in and hes actingike this. Break up and find someone else. Someone who doesn’t sulk because you tell him hes not behaving great. Ive spent years with a man child and i wish i had broken up when i first had my doubts. Its not worth it. It is never worth it
NTA but are you living together already?
American men are annoying asf
it’s always okay to express your preferences
but here are some useless words: all, never, sure, none, exactly, every, always
and maybe consider a statistics class: maybe most Americans are nothing like your bf…how would you know?
I would argue that there are probably some shitty Swiss men out there too. It’s not an American vs Swiss situation. You just picked a poor choice of a partner.
Do you really need internet strangers to tell you to break up?
“You’re not my mom”
“Exactly”
This guy reminds me of myself when I was his age. An insecure heap of pigshit with mommy issues and zero self-awareness. I don’t think I’m a narcissist, but weaponizing your insecurities is 100% narcissistic behavior. It creates an environment where only one side is allowed to issue any critique.
I mean I’ve dated American mean and I didn’t have that experience. Just dump him
Can someone explain, how does mentioning Swiss guys opening doors relate to him being less of a man? You deserve basic respect, and it’s unfair he can’t handle criticism.
The only reason to date somebody is because they are making your life better by having them around. If he has not enhancing your life then get rid of him. it’s better to be single than this.
I dont think this has anything to do with American or Swiss. Your bf just sucks lol
NTA from the sounds of things your boyfriend is just a red flag who doesn’t treat women right. It’s not that he’s American, just that he’s a douche and seems to view you more like an accessory or an assistant than a woman on equal stature to him. He’s not considering your financial situation and doesn’t seem to be interested in how you feel as much as how you make him feel. It’s crazy his masculinity is threatened from you expressing a want for what I think is the bare minimum standard. This guy is not the one for you and seems like a manchild. You know your worth and should find a guy who matches your standards.
To be fair to him you don’t have enough evidence to know that this is an American man thing rather than a him thing.
Either way… If this is his behaviour and it bothers you then have a direct conversation with him about it (without comparing him to other men), or end it.
I mean, from my POV not doing his own dishes is pretty shitty, but I wouldn’t ever expect a guy to pay for me or hold doors open. But we all have different needs and expectations in a relationship.
Sometimes people don’t realize how important certain things are to us. If he loves you, he’ll take this as an opportunity to improve and be more understanding.
Assuming stereotypes of a whole nation based on one person is a wild take.
I would say it could be either way. It feel like your leaving a lot out of your relationship and just showing the bad parts to make him look bad, but again he could just be comically annoying. But the “ your not my mom” could easily be a joke, the 50/50 could easily be because hes broke too, and the never planning date could be because he doesn’t like traditional gender roles, and it’s not wrong for you to pull your weight in a relationship. So if what I said is right you are definitely the asshole, but if he really is a bad boyfriend you still just told your boyfriend that other men treat you better, if you don’t like him so much break up with him instead of insulting him. Either was I feel you do take some blame, but depending on your relationship it could be all the blame or half. Final verdict, you are the asshole ( atleast partly) I already know this is gonna get a lot of downvotes lmao
NTA. At least you have standards.
Run. They aren’t all like this.
NTA. He sounds like a man baby, but it also isn’t stated whether you’ve just had this expectation or if you’ve communicated this to him. It’s fine, if that’s what you want, but also you should be up front about your expectations. Opening doors and planning dates id nice for a guy to do, but other than you being a woman, why would he HAVE to? Ik people who like that sort of “chivalry”. Either don’t deal with guys who don’t(I know men who do these things of their own volition), or make sure it’s stated that is something you enjoy.
NTA but stop dating him if you don’t like how he treats you then.
NTA, he’s not making you happy. You gave him a chance, and it’s not working out. Don’t lower your standards.
Lol…he knows he less pf a man
So every American is one way and every Swiss is another way? It can’t just be unique to these people?
Sounds like he needs to do a bit of growing up and start treating women like a gentleman would. NTA.
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, chances are it is a duck. That applies to your bf as well: he’s easily offended, doesn’t address the issue you have with him, blames you for how he feels, isn’t sensitive to your financial situation and is too lazy to plan anything for the two of you. Ergo: let this complaining man-child go.
What, exactly, are you supposed to be grateful for…? Definitely NTA
Your choice of your partner is the absolutely most important choice that you will make in your life, choose wisely.
Lol most American men wouldn’t either, but if you’re dating a student it kinda adds up. NTA, honestly you should breakup because are you gonna want this guy back in Switzerland with you?
NTA. I think the main issue is he treats you like crap and the other guys you’ve dated have treated you better. Why are you with him? Companionship?
“He slept on the couch that night and said I embarrassed him and made him feel “less of a man.””
Any man is able to clean his own dishes without his partner having to tell them. Run, OP, he is an entitled brat.
If he has money and you don’t, which can happen when you are a student, and you expect him to pay more, which is reasonable, then, when you are older, I hope you can date a man that is broke and also help him with money, like you expect now to be helped with money.
Most men during college never get a woman to pay for dates or anything. Our experience is much different. If we are broke no one dates us. No one helps us. On average of course, there are exceptions.
If he feels like less of a man, maybe it’s because he is. The comment about you not being his mom because you asked him to clean up after himself should’ve been followed up with, “You’re right. I’m not you mom so clean up after yourself!” Not all guys here are jerks. Please dump him and find someone who was raised right.
If you expect traditional roles, which is fine, you should do the same… you want him to pay and be a “gentleman” great, wash his dishes…
I see a few men upset about this. Don’t take it personal, these post are not for us. just focus on your career and becoming a better person.
ESH to be honest. He doesn’t know how to treat women properly but at the same time, you don’t sound any better. You sound entitled. You expect cleaning duties to be 50/50, but don’t want to go 50/50 when it comes to paying for stuff? Kinda hypocritical. Also comparing him to your exes wasn’t very nice. If you have issues with the way he treats you could just pull him aside and discuss things like an adult instead of the shaming and making sweeping generalizations about his nationality.
I don’t think it’s an “American” thing as much as you just happened to date someone who turned out to be a jerk.
You are 6 months in this relationship and he is already showing his true self. Save yourself some time. Also, and I don’t mean this as a disrespect, I thought the Swiss were all rich because they have that UBI thingy that they were supposed to vote in a referendum before? Did that ever pass?
NTAH. You’re seeing all you need to see. Be done with this before you have any more invested than what you do…. Consider this a learning experience.
NTA. Of course, they aren’t all like that, but if it’s been 6 months and he’s still acting like this, why not leave him? It’s clear you’re unhappy…
Don’t date men that don’t know how to treat you or respect you, that is what we are speaking of here. I am sorry to hear this…I guess not surprised.
you can’t open your own doors? what dates does he need to plan? you expect him to pay for everything? you aren’t his mom
you aren’t a princess, you aren’t a queen, you are a random chick and this is the real world, y’all wanted equality, this is what it looks like…..some girls consider this behavior abuse based on some of the comments? lol
*expects to be downvoted heavily, despite everything I said being true*
You’re young. Move on from him
I tend to go neutral on anything regarding Switzerland, but their flag is a big plus.
NTA
You have a shitty BF, nothing to do with his nationality.
That’s not because he’s American. This guy just sucks. Break up and move on.
NTA……………IT all goes back to upbringing. He has not grown up.
Suggest you find a mature man who can communicate.
YTA. For generalizing all Americans over your one shitty boyfriend.
2/10 rage bait karma farming story. Get back to the drawing board!
“Wash your dishes.”
“You’re not my mom.”
“Exactly. Wash your dishes.”
Could be your guy doesn’t know, or care, to “treat” you well.
No youre the AH for thinking swiss guys are better.
Broad generaluzations suck – and they dont magically become acceptable because theyre about Americans, no matter how superior people want to feel about it.
NTA, but your bf basically just sucks. I’m an American who has been married to a German for 20+ years, I’d personally have said the door opening etc was more common in the US than in the European countries I’ve lived in. At least I notice it a lot more when I’m visiting the US.
Anyway, if he’s already pulling the “ungrateful” card and comparing you to his mom because you expected him to do his own dishes, I think you can throw this one back and try again.
(Probably don’t keep telling guys they aren’t as good as Swiss ones though; there’s definitely going to be loser Swiss dudes out there, and anyone would be on the defensive if they were told they weren’t as good as someone they literally can’t be due to where they were born)
YTA for thinking every guy you date is going to be the same.
As someone in their 30s who dated very similar sounding guys at your age… just break it off now. The longer you stay with someone like that the more resentment builds and the more bitter you will become. You are absolutely right in your assessment. The attraction you feel towards him will fade as the bitterness builds. Just bury this relationship now before it causes you more heartache. He will not get better. He will not try to do better for you. He will not try to understand your side of things.
I underatand your cows are quite happy.
NTA, American men are emotionally unstable and still attached to their mothers.
“never opens doors” – okay, to each their own
“doesn’t plan dates” – not great, but not a dealbreaker
“splits everything 50/50 even though I am broke” – cultural difference, but partially your fault. Don’t go somewhere you can’t afford. If he knows this and makes you go anyway, big red flag.
“said “you’re not my mom” when you tell him to do his dishes” – this ain’t a cultural problem. This guy is a man child. Run.
This isnt a Swiss vs American thing. You’re dating an asshole.
This isn’t an American man thing. My bf opens doors for me, cooks me breakfast, cleans, pays most of the bills. We never go 50/50 on dates, but we do take turns paying for them
Youre not an asshole but you’re generalizing. EVERY Swiss guy is amazing? And you’re comparing it to one person? Your sample sizes are not good. Sounds like you guys aren’t a good fit. Doesnt mean every guy in the country is bad.
You know what, that is an asshole thing to say, actually.
If you think it’s worth salvaging you can bring it up in a non confrontational way- that you’re trying to align because you want it to work out. Like in my culture the man holds the door open, plans dates because that shows me you care”. But if he’s blaming you and sleeping on couch then he may not be mature enough to handle this. Where is he from in states in shocked he’s making you pay and not hold the door open. I’ve found my European bfs wanted 50/50 and did not have chivalry
He’s a jackass! NTA …. You deserve better ;). Carry on 😌😌
Wow, a man from another country has different cultural expectations around dating as men in yoir home country.
And instead of politing communicating how you want his behavior to change, which he can affect…
You emasculate him on the ground of nationality which he cannot control.
Youre not an asshole, sweetheart, but you definitely have room for growth in how you communicate your needs.
Most American men don’t act like this either, this is an issue with him .
He should wash his dishes, and you should open your the door yourself, and you should be paying 50/50 because that is fair.
ESH – I’m going to remain neutral. 😉
Umm yeah 2 things:
Honesty is never wrong if you say it with respect and tact. You have seen what good guys are like and thats what you want. Dont settle, think long term
American here. You found a dud. Many American men have good manners, are generous, and take responsibility for themselves. You should raise your standards and find a real American man.
“I didn’t make you feel less of a man. You acting like less of a man made you feel like less of a man”
NTA But – Some women in the US get mad when a man opens a door for them or does something else traditionally “what a man does for a woman..the weaker sex.” I don’t think it’s wrong to split things 50/50 regardless of your financial status when you’re just dating for a few months. Unless he’s pressing you to do things that he can afford and you can’t. Just tell him (or the next guy) to stick to things in your budget unless he wants to pay. But then, you said he doesn’t plan anything so you’re the one planning things you can’t afford hoping he’ll pay your way??
The dishes thing? That’s right, you’re not his mom which means you don’t have to clean up after him. He should absolutely be doing his share of chores. That reluctance, on top of the whiny, manipulative comments on how you embarrassed him show he’s pretty immature. And he’s not less of a man because you said he was being inconsiderate or comparing him to Swiss men, he’s less of a man because he’s a whiny baby who can’t take care of himself or have a conversation that doesn’t paint him as a hero.
Honestly, I think comparison is the thief of happiness. You’re basically telling him he doesn’t measure up to the guys back home, which obviously is going to hurt. It sounds like you two just have different expectations about dating, money, and even basic manners. Instead of trying to change him or make him feel bad, you might want to think about whether you’re actually compatible. If you’re not aligned on these things, it might make more sense to break up than keep resenting each other over cultural differences.
That’s not an American thing.
Starting in the late 1960s in the US, there was a big shift in American culture. I was a kid in the 1960s and a teenager in the 1970s. I was taught to open doors for women, pay for things for women, and give them all sorts of courtesies. A part of the feminist movement of the era was that women should not be treated differently from men. The expectations should be the same. You began to see women react negatively to having some of the “basic courtesies” that I was taught to provide.
You see some of the same types of attitudes in a lot of the “social justice warrior” types today.
My personal takeaway from growing up through that period… Gender doesn’t matter for the most part, and I extend the same basic courtesies regardless of the gender identity I perceive, age, or how well they are dressed. (Okay, things like pulling out a chair for someone to sit at a table are likely to be very situational.)
He is less of a man and if he has a problem with it, tell him to man up. Realistically though, this is one of those ‘look me up once you’ve matured’ scenarios.
He’s just a jerk. NTA
Dump the guy immediately, he has no social graces, and little chance at having the intellect to learn them, move on.
NTA. The problem isn’t that he’s American, it’s that he’s an idiot. Get rid of him, and he’s already terrible in six months. Imagine in two years or more. Don’t waste your time with someone you have no future with.
Your boyfriend just sucks; I’m married to an American man and he’s a very polite and considerate person.
He sounds like a slouchy POS. Get rid of him. Find someone better.
Not all American men are whiney babies. It’s a him-issue. Don’t compare him to ex boyfriends or Swiss men in general. But level up with him as to how you want to be treated, and if that is not in his capacity, move on. He’s right. You’re his girlfriend, not his mother. So he needs to treat you as such and be a man, not a boy.
ESH. You have dated one American guy who sucks and there are plenty of Swiss guys who suck, generalizations are immature and aren’t a good argument. And obviously he sucks.
I am wondering why you expect him to pay for you
I think I have a different mindset from you. I prefer to pay for my own food etc and if I am broke, I stay home
I also don’t need a bf to hold my door. But that’s just me
I am more interested in a relationship where we treat eachother well
I would however say he should do his own dishes. or do it together, if it was in my home
ESH
With that said.. ” less of a man ” comment would make me run
It reeks of insecurity and red pill to me
If you have to compare, then he’s not yours. I don’t blame you for not liking the childish things he does/doesn’t do. Be advised that this is not an “American” thing. I’ve lived here all my life and only dated Americans. They open doors for you. They clean up after themselves. lol. You need to broaden your choices here. He’s not the one.
He’s right. You are not his mom. And clearly she isnt finished raising him so send him back.
NTA! He doesn’t represent American men 🚩🚩🚩
You’re living together? First mistake. Wife privileges and no commitment makes guys very comfortable….too much so.
NTA but you’re comparing him to Swiss men when in fact he’s just a childish AH. American men who actually care about their partners are chivalrous and thoughtful.
Yeah, gonna say you both are the assholes. Your BF has some shortcomings, for sure, but weaponizing how your ex’s in Switzerland were better isn’t exactly constructively dealing with the problem. If you don’t want to be in it, then don’t. I guess wait till you get home to date since you seem partial to Swiss men and have developed quite the stereotype you seem unable to get past.
By reading this, I think you both have some growing up to do.
Honestly, you sound entitled. If a woman complained about me like you do and compared me to her exes I’d show her the door. You want the princess treatment, but what are you bringing to the table in return?
NTA.
He’s feeling the truth. He honestly does come across as “less of a man.” It may just be my Midwestern upbringing, but when a man gets to a door first, he holds it open for the next person. Then, on a date, I assume I’m paying unless my wife tells me she’s going halvsies or paying for both of us. (That’s how we’ve always done it)
Lets be real, if you could do better you’d be out doing so instead of asking strangers for validation on the internet. You both probably suck and deserve each other.
Rofl, you can thank your American sisters for that. American boys have had equality shoved down their throats for the last 30 years. This is one of the products of that. Women are no longer treated as women but equal. Another 10 years and women will be added to the military draft. The only place you will still see some gentlemen behavior is the deep south because our mommas still beat our asses if we mistreat a girl.
NTA. SAY IT AGAIN. Say it louder.
I mean, there are American guys out there (surely?? Right???) who would do these things but yeah…. Casually seeing a Swiss Italian guy right now …. It’s so different. I think that while Europe (especially southern Europe) has issues with misogyny, relationship and family dynamics are a bit more egalitarian. He’s like, polite and gives so much effort but isn’t like, love-bombing or “”chivalrous”” or patronizing.
European bf’s have always treated me better than the Americans I’ve dated. That’s just been my experience. Not saying American men suck, but Europeans men I have dated acted more like “men”, while American men just want to play video games and collect crap.
If this bf is already treating you like crap, it’s only gonna get worse. Instead of taking your criticism and becoming a better man, he acts like a child and sulks 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Don’t waste your beauty on someone who doesn’t treat you right.
NTA you could’ve worded it a bit more delicately, but honestly he sounds like an immature man child based on his behavior. He has some growing up to do, and you definitely don’t have to wait around for that if you don’t want to.
Nta
But it’s not all American men like that, you just got a bad one, toss him and find a better one.
So he’s immature
NTA- and he’s right you’re not his mom, I would have left his dishes there until he cleaned his own mess. Trust me there are better guys out there. This one isn’t the one
‘ He got really offended and started calling me “ungrateful” and said I’m “comparing him to my exes.” He slept on the couch that night and said I embarrassed him and made him feel “less of a man.” ‘
Before even passing judgement on your actions, this response seals things. This was not an appropriate reaction to your words. They were very man-child behavior. Dude needs to grow up.
Don’t wait for him to do so. You’re not his mom (his words, not mine).
ungrateful? what exactly are you supposed to be grateful for?
Don’t let American men convince you that you deserve less! No one warned you about this?!
YTA
You literally just stereotyped every american guy to a fantasy of a swiss guy (swiss blokes let me know if what she said is true cause I highly doubt it). To boot you were dating the guy for less than a year.
Sounds like you just met a slob American and you have your own fantasies on what the perfect man should be.
>Like… he never opens doors for me, doesn’t plan dates, always splits everything 50/50 even when he knows I’m broke
Lol you cant make this up. Hes supposed to pay for everything because you’re broke?
Some of that stuff is just preference (opening doors isn’t as common as it was a long time ago and it’s not right/wrong) but why didn’t you end the relationship when he said you’re not his mother? Over the dishes thing?? That’s not an american thing, there’s tons of households where men do a lot of housework and especially their own dishes or their own laundry. Single men do it, married men do it.
Just leave him, he will not change and you’re not that invested so far. In the future stop bottling things up in the name of not being the woman who complains all of the time. Just set a boundary, it’s not that complicated. “I cannot go 50/50 I’m broke, so unless you’re alright paying 100% I can’t go out tonight.” You’re an adult, use your words. You are an asshole any time you compare a partner to other men because it is hurtful and unhelpful, and there are many other words you should have used because again, you’re an adult. Use your words, set boundaries. Dump the man baby, the dishes thing alone is a “bye bye” at 6 months. You’re not that invested, leave.
He’s showing you who he truly is, believe him. Every culture has their fair share of duds. He’s a dud, leave him in the dustbin and move on.
NTA because you told the truth. If he doesn’t like it he needs to change or find another girlfriend.
Your boyfriend sounds pretty immature, and a bit of an asshole, but to answer your question, you could probably be called a little bit of an asshole for assuming that someone’s nation of origin has anything to do with this lol
Probably less to do with his ethnicity, and more to do with his maturity level (not age).
Feel free to communicate in way that helps your partner understand your perspective. Take time to understand their perspective.
Comparing isn’t fun for any gender.
When people are in a healthy relationship with someone they respect, appreciate, and have a deep connection / chemistry they find ways to keep conversations centered on what’s best for the relationship… ego and pride are so challenging because you want to protect yourself and yet be vulnerable with the person you’re in a relationship.
Perspective vs perception
Intent vs impact
Self awareness is such a powerful gift… some people don’t want to understand the accountability mirror when you help them see how they impact you whilst excusing their bad behavior with “good intentions” … their impact on you should be more important than their intent.
Good luck on your romantic journey. Not the AH, he’s just not emotionally mature enough.
Girl, just go find a man who isn’t a child. they aren’t just in Switzerland as they are here, too. Trust me .. they’re here .. don’t settle!
NTA. But this isn’t a Swiss vs American thing. It’s a ‘you e found yourself a dud’ thing.
“You’re not my mom.”
“That’s right; that’s why I’m not cleaning up after you. You’re a grown ass man and you can clean up after yourself.”
The appropriate response to feeling embarrassed and ‘less of a man’ is to step up and be a better one
NTA, but I don’t know if it’s a nationality issue. My American husband of 12 years has always been amazing. To me it sounds like your bf is very immature and that is the real problem
If he doesnt treat you how you want, break up with him. He’s not going to change. So you either deal with him as he is, or end things.
American women have killed chivalry, you can thank them. Imagine raging on about equality and that there are no differences between men and women but then still expect sex-specific benefit in treatment based on your genitalia.
You expect him to act traditional in actually meaningful ways like paying for you but then you won’t even wash his dishes? Women really have to figure out what they want here, can’t have your super progressive outlook on yourself but still expect men to act like it’s the 19th century.
YTA if you think this one person is representative of all
American men
He IS less of a man. Dump this guy, OP.
Not if that is how you feel! But then follow through and find a Swiss guy! Else you are just rude and combative.
NTA. Move on. He’s not the only American boy in this country, but be aware A LOT of them are like this. Not all, but a lot.
Doesn’t seem like he is much of a man
YTA for making an unnecessary generalization about Swiss guys versus American guys. I’m sure some Swiss guys do the same thing he does. I’m sure some American guys do all the things you’d want him to do. Weird and unnecessary to say.
His behavior isn’t nice, especially about his own dishes, but the “AITAH” question you asked was specifically about what you told him.
If you had asked “AITAH for telling my bf he needs to do his own dishes” I would’ve of course said NTA. That was not the question.
Ew break up with him and go find your Swiss king girl
American men rarely open doors, pay for dates, pull out chairs…it is the culture here
NTA… but, No guy wants to be compared to their gf ex. Even if it’s positive. If you were trying to point out the difference in the culture n he spun it to something different, that sounds like manipulation. Sounds like you got a lemon… dating world is so different these days… I’m not saying all guys are like your bf, but you definitely got a lemon. You also have to realize modern dating, ppl are confused these days what ppl want, want they are expected to do, or don’t do
This is not a problem with nationalities or cultures. This is a generational issue. Gen Z men are just soft. What kind of man sleeps on the couch and whines about being “less a man”? I would just drink some whiskey, smoke a Marlboro red, and wrestle a bear.
NTAH. Don’t lower your standard just because it’s a bit more rare out here to find men like that. Have you asked him you’d like to see more of this behavior from him?
I am a girl from northwest and guys never did that sort of thing. Met my now husband from the south and he opens doors and car doors, plans dates and now he financially takes care of me. They exist here just few and far between.
YTA, not for your feelings. you have a right to a man who treats you fair but you attacked him rather then have a discussion about your expectations. You shouldn’t compare people just find a man that works for your needs. If he is not that man, move on but you don’t have to tell him that Swedish men are better than him.
I also feel he is less than a man.
YTA to YOURSELF. Leave this child before you get any deeper into this.
dude…that’s just him. I open all the doors for anyone that’s behind me. i go out of my way to open doors for my gf’s especially.
I accept gf’s paying for stuff, but if they can’t i would be aware and carry them during those times…I’d do the same for friends.
I’d have my house clean because I’d be fucking embarrassed to have my gf see me as a slob.
this is common fuckin sense.
NTA.
The truth hurts especially when the shoe fits.
NTA tho dont base all american men off of this one- there are gentlemen out there if you know how to sift through the bad ones lol
NTA, but at the same time neither is he. He’s probably been screamed at by past american girls for doing all the things you’ve mentioned.
Yes. How would you like to be told that women from another country are just better?
NTA. For me it’s about respect. Mutual respect. He sounds like he’s not the one for you. I don’t mind opening doors for myself because my husband is pokey, but I certainly do not want to pick up after anyone.
Info: why did he sleep on the couch? Send him home. He is toxic as fuck and I hope you don’t live together
NTA. Not all American men are like that (I married a wonderful one!) this guy just sucks. Dump him and don’t look back. 23 and can’t clean up after himself? No no no….
Welcome to American where feminism has killed men. They have been told that men doing those things is toxic masculinity.
You’re not my mommy, so clean up after me?
Any functional adult if any nationality sounds like a better partner than this fool.
OP, coming from Switzerland where most men are decent (or so I hear), you may not have realized how rotten men can be. Now that you are in the U.S. you need to recognize that many American men are not decent. Or give up dating men altogether until you can return home
NTA. Don’t waste any more time on him.
NTA. This sounds like a problem from an individual guy. It’s not all American men. I live in the southern USA, we still teach our children to say ma’am and sir, please and thank you and yes, open doors for girls.
Dearest- he is less of a man! Move on!
Everything but the splitting things 50/50 is an issue. You’re dating a 23 year old chances are he’s pretty broke, too.
NTA.
But, it depends on the context. If you said Swiss men are better than American men you were probably right but that is a generalization without enough data. But if you said Swiss men were better than him you’re fine.
Based on the fact that you are Swiss, my guess is that you said the latter as the Swiss tend to be pretty precise with their words, regardless of the language they are speaking 😏
Your bf sounds like an immature twat. Find a real man.
You moved from Switzerland to the U.S. for college. They’re colleges in the U.S that are better than the colleges in Switzerland?
Lol….
50/50 on the asshole thing….
You should be with who you want. Also be able to express how you feel.
But remember US society of equality has a lot of women not wanting and even being offended by those things.
This isn’t an American thing. I know someone who is married to a Swiss man and he is nothing like the ideal Swiss man you’re describing.
Your boyfriend is just a lazy jerk.
Been there. Sometimes you just need to throw the whole man away.
It’s probably him and not that he’s American. Maybe American males treat women wonderfully.