Me and my husband have 2 young kids. My husband works full time at a physically demanding job, then comes home and cooks, cleans, and helps with the kids. He’s a great dad and partner. My Aunty never liked him. She always makes little digs like, A real man would provide better, or, You married a boy, not a man, even says it in front of our kids. And my 4 year old repeated, Daddy is lazy, while playing, and it broke my heart.
I’ve asked my Aunt to stop, but she says she’s just honest. We had a reunion and at the dinner my Aunt made another comment about my husband, and I finally snapped all of our relatives heard her comment about my husband. And I told my Aunt, If you want to see your niece, you need to stop disrespecting their father. I won’t let them grow up hearing this.
My Aunt became furious, and we keep on arguing, Keeps shouting that my husband is a trash and not worthy for me. We didn’t finished the dinner and leave.
So AITA for drawing this line with my Aunt?
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Me and my husband have 2 young kids. My husband works full time at a physically demanding job, then comes home and cooks, cleans, and helps with the kids. He’s a great dad and partner. My Aunty never liked him. She always makes little digs like, A real man would provide better, or, You married a boy, not a man, even says it in front of our kids. And my 4 year old repeated, Daddy is lazy, while playing, and it broke my heart.
I’ve asked my Aunt to stop, but she says she’s just honest. We had a reunion and at the dinner my Aunt made another comment about my husband, and I finally snapped all of our relatives heard her comment about my husband. And I told my Aunt, If you want to see your niece, you need to stop disrespecting their father. I won’t let them grow up hearing this.
My Aunt became furious, and we keep on arguing, Keeps shouting that my husband is a trash and not worthy for me. We didn’t finished the dinner and leave.
So AITA for drawing this line with my Aunt?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. My Aunt keeps telling that my husband is lazy
2. I told my Aunt if she want to see her niece, she better stop calling bad things about my husband
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, you are a good partner, you stood up for your husband. It’s good to set boundaries with people who don’t respect your family and choices.
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Very obvious NTA; why even ask for judgment?
NTA.
Her behavior is unacceptable. Even if it were true (which is seems it’s not) it would be unacceptable.
Being “honest” is not carte blanche to be an asshole.
This seems fake. She continuously calls your husband a POS in detail and you tell her she can’t see your daughter if she doesn’t stop. You should completely cut off communication to her. The way she’s talking about him is horrible.
Nope. Auntie wants to insult your husband, then she can do it where your children won’t be exposed to her poison.
No girl you hold that line and keep your kids away from that B of an aunt. If he is coming home cooking, helping with the kids and cleaning he is a better man than she ever had. Don’t put up with her treating him this way.
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NTA. You did the right thing. Why would you ever be the AH? Your aunt has a real problem and should not get indulged. She doesn’t deserve to see any of you until she can to civil to everyone.
I agree that this is so obvious-why ask for judgement?
She should’ve been banned before you started having kids
nta. your aunt’s outta pocket for trashing your man, especially in front of your kids. he’s out here bustin his ass providing, cooking, cleaning, and being a solid dad, lazy where? you set a healthy boundary. if she can’t respect him, she doesn’t get access. simple as that.
No you are NTA. You are standing up to a bully and defending your husband and family. Her behavior is unacceptable and unwanted. You’ve called her on her bullshit, now she can decide whether to respond. Good for you.
I don’t know where your aunt learned manners, but she flunked. That’s not honesty, it’s a self aggrandizing excuse to be mean because she enjoys it.
NTA. She wants to be mad? Let her.
Lay down some rules with her and any/all relatives.
“you will NOT disrespect either of us. You will keep your rude comments to yourself otherwise you will not be allowed in our household at all.”
You can also explain this up/follow it up with “our child has started to say rude and TOXIC things they’ve heard from my aunt. This is no longer going to be tolerated.”
Let her be mad if she wants to. Let ANYONE be mad if they want to. No one should be disrespectful towards you or your husband or even your kid. You did the right thing. Don’t back down from it.
Whatever her problem is, its not your issue. Its hers. Honestly i cant even believe she’s got this attitude. He works hard and then comes home to help. Tell her to follow his example. Lol
NTA except you should have cut her off long ago. It’s really disrespectful to your husband to have any kind of relationship with her.
nta. your aunt’s wildin, can’t be calling your dude lazy when he’s literally holding it down at work and at home. kids don’t need that negativity stuck in their heads. you did right laying it out: respect him or don’t come around. that’s just protecting your fam.
Time to go NC thats the only option at this point
So much NTA. People like that are ok to have a relationship from a distance. Or none at all.
If anyone speaks about my husband like that in front of my kids and they started repeating it, it’s bye bye to them. Good on you for sticking up for him. And now it’s time to protect your kids.
Cut her completely the fuck off, along with anyone who defends her.
NTA. She was extremely disrespectful. When your daughter repeated it? That’s it. You were too patient.
YTA because you are still talking to the woman who disrespects your husband and your marriage. show your kids with your actions. Block her.
YTA for not defending your husband when it first started and letting your kids listen that crap about their dad. I don’t think you respect him because you would have done something about it sooner.
I don’t understand why Aunt is so upset about your honesty, since she values it so highly herself.
Jk, and you’re NTA.
So he works, cooks, cleans and helps with the kids? Isn’t that what people want in a spouse?
Your Aunt is entitled to her opinion. She’s not entitled to poison your kids against their dad.
NTA
NTA for taking up for your husband, but you are one for letting it go this long. She has made it apparent she not only doesn’t respect your husband but she doesn’t respect you. Stuck to your word and cut her out until she learns some respect and don’t listen to any family that says you are in the wrong.
NTA
NTA No one asked for your aunt‘s opinion. Just like your aunt didn’t ask for my opinion of her. If I was visiting your aunt, I would not tell her that I thought she was a royal asshole.
ESH. Your aunt because she’s disrespecting your entire family (kids too) and you because you haven’t completely cut her off and gone no contact yet.
Go NC and I’ll easily change my vote to nta.
So does he come home every day to cook, clean, and help with the kids after his tiring job? May I ask what you are doing?
Edit: YTA for letting it go on past the first time she said it.
NTA
NTA
WHO asked for HER opinion???
No one!!
NTA. She needs to back off.
Info: I feel like there is missing information here. If he is so great, why does she think so low of him? Did you have a rough patch at some point and confide in her or something?
You need to ban her for a while – don’t argue, don’t try to defend your husband, just go no contact. My dad’s family continuously made comments about my mom growing up. She was low class, uneducated, too country, etc. I grew up despising them. When my dad abandoned my family, I realized I would never have to see my grandmother or any of them again! And I kept that promise to myself. It probably wasn’t the right thing to do, but it made my life so much easier.
Your family is your husband and your children. The sad thing to me is that you have allowed it to get this far and you tolerated someone belittling your husband. And you have the audacity to ask if you are the AH! A few things to consider:
The environment you are allowing your children to be raised in does them no favors. They see you allowing other people to abuse your husband – and that is what this is, emotional abuse can hurt adults too. Your children have a 50 50 chance of copying the behavior they see. I have spent a good portion of my life dealing with abused children, the behavior you are tolerating has consequences – I urge you to put a hard stop to this.
NTA She sounds horrible.
NTA – not at all. You’ve asked her to be nice, and you’ve told her to be nice. You’re beyond “if you don’t stop insulting my husband…”
Don’t argue with her in any capacity. She’s had first, second, and third warnings. You don’t have to put up with it anymore – cut her off entirely,
Tell her she’s no longer welcome in your home because you’re sick of her insulting behavior in front of you, your husband, and your children. If she treats you disrespectfully, she doesn’t get to visit.
And if she tries that stuff someplace else – a reunion, a family get-together, etc – don’t engage. Walk away, or leave. If you argue back, she gets what she wants – power and attention.
The only way to defeat classless bullies is to deny them the playing field.
The only AH is the aunt,cut ties now you don’t want this toxic woman around your children. I wouldn’t give her the chance to change people like her never change. Belittling your husband gives her a sense of power and superiority. Go no contact and since the confrontation was in front of other family there is no reason for anyone to side with her. If they do cut contact with them too.
NTA – your aunt is a piece of work, the worst thing in all of this is her behavior is being noticed by your children.
You should most definitely cut contact with her because her behavior is starting to show influence on your children.
Geez, drop her like a hot potato. Your husband and children DO NOT deserve or ever need to be around a person like this. Your aunt sounds very narcissistic. You need to view it as a privilege to be around your family, not a right. Refuse any get-togethers if she will be there. You won’t be missing anything.