Aita for telling my boss I’m done babysitting her kids after her husband left?

r/

I(17F) babysit kids, I’ve been doing babysitting as a side jobs for a year now and I met a good couple which made me their personal sitter.

Jason and Mina have two kids, I’m telling you right now that their house is big like crazy. They both work busy jobs so they never have time to watch the kids, Jason did make more though and Mina wasn’t allowed to use her money whenever. Jason controlled all of it. I luckily came in and helped them.

Their kids are very wild but when I’m around they know not to do that, I babysit a 1 year old, 5yr, and a 7yr so that can be a lot. I don’t watch them all the time, if I’m busy with school then I don’t watch them. The kids are pretty cool, the 1 year old calls me mom and is very attached to me but it’s weird and awkward for a kid to call me “mom”

Jason and Mina do have trouble in their marriage, the times I was there, they would argue a lot and of course I had to be there to comfort the kids. I think after she lost her baby, Jason has been acting weird towards her, he would tell at her but she would just cry. Or im just too young to understand marriage, anyways this continued.

Weeks before I was kinda pulling back on the babysitter thing because who wants to hear arguing nonstop? That’s actually tiring and for the first time I didn’t want to be at their house. I was there when Jason left and it was a big fight, he hit her and never came back, not going to lie I was uncomfortable and I think that should’ve been the day I left.

It’s been 2 weeks since Jason has been gone, I still babysat but I did see a change in Mina behavior. She was more mean, she would cry daily, she didn’t pay me one day and I let it slide but it became consistent, she would pay me but less. She treated me like trash and would say disrespectful things to me, I knew that I shouldn’t be allowing that. I babysat for the last time because after that I was out. Mina was home and I nervous but went for it, she was just sitting in the dining room in silence.

I told her the truth, I’m not babysitting for her anymore and if she wants a new babysitter she will have to find one. That was probably the first time she looked at me, she then told me I can’t leave because someone needs to watch the kids. I told her what I said again but I don’t think she cared, she actually yelled at me because I’m being a little asshole.

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    Backup of the post’s body: I(17F) babysit kids, I’ve been doing babysitting as a side jobs for a year now and I met a good couple which made me their personal sitter.

    Jason and Mina have two kids, I’m telling you right now that their house is big like crazy. They both work busy jobs so they never have time to watch the kids, Jason did make more though and Mina wasn’t allowed to use her money whenever. Jason controlled all of it. I luckily came in and helped them.

    Their kids are very wild but when I’m around they know not to do that, I babysit a 1 year old, 5yr, and a 7yr so that can be a lot. I don’t watch them all the time, if I’m busy with school then I don’t watch them. The kids are pretty cool, the 1 year old calls me mom and is very attached to me but it’s weird and awkward for a kid to call me “mom”

    Jason and Mina do have trouble in their marriage, the times I was there, they would argue a lot and of course I had to be there to comfort the kids. I think after she lost her baby, Jason has been acting weird towards her, he would tell at her but she would just cry. Or im just too young to understand marriage, anyways this continued.

    Weeks before I was kinda pulling back on the babysitter thing because who wants to hear arguing nonstop? That’s actually tiring and for the first time I didn’t want to be at their house. I was there when Jason left and it was a big fight, he hit her and never came back, not going to lie I was uncomfortable and I think that should’ve been the day I left.

    It’s been 2 weeks since Jason has been gone, I still babysat but I did see a change in Mina behavior. She was more mean, she would cry daily, she didn’t pay me one day and I let it slide but it became consistent, she would pay me but less. She treated me like trash and would say disrespectful things to me, I knew that I shouldn’t be allowing that. I babysat for the last time because after that I was out. Mina was home and I nervous but went for it, she was just sitting in the dining room in silence.

    I told her the truth, I’m not babysitting for her anymore and if she wants a new babysitter she will have to find one. That was probably the first time she looked at me, she then told me I can’t leave because someone needs to watch the kids. I told her what I said again but I don’t think she cared, she actually yelled at me because I’m being a little asshole.

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  3. revengeappendage Avatar

    I didn’t really read the whole thing but they’re her kids. You’re a babysitter, not a hostage.

  4. Loud-Cardiologist184 Avatar

    NTA. Good for you for standing up and quitting. Going NC might be necessary.

  5. Osidestarfish Avatar

    Babysitting is at-will employment or daily contract work. Even more so, you can pick your days your weeks or your jobs. You have the right of refusal at any time. NTA. You should have stopped working there the first time she did not pay you.

  6. DaycareNursingHome Avatar

    NTA You can quit anytime you want…

    She lost a baby, her husband abused her, and then abandoned her. While none of that justifies her behavior, I am sure it’s a byproduct. She is going through a lot. If you truly feel uncomfortable babysitting, then it’s fine to stop. However, you might try to talk to her if you still want to keep the job. Or talk to your parents or trusted adults, tell them what is happening, and ask them for help talking to the mother. She may not be in the right headspace and needs a check-in before she realizes what she is doing.

  7. Designer-Road72745 Avatar

    adults love using “i’m going thru stuff” as an excuse to be mean to ppl who can’t push back. u showed way more maturity than she did. walk away n don’t look back.

  8. MidwestNightgirl Avatar

    NTA – heck with her! You have zero obligation to do anything for them. Block her number and social media.

  9. KittyKatHasClaws Avatar

    What a toxic environment. He physically assaulted her before he left, they neglect their kids, and she’s being awful. Just stop going over. Cut it off immediately.

  10. LibraryMouse4321 Avatar

    I feel kind of bad for her with all the stuff she’s had to deal with, but that’s no excuse for treating you badly and not paying you for the job you have done.

    Before cutting her and the kids off completely, try talking to her. Stand your ground and stand up for yourself while having some compassion for what she’s going through. If you are willing to give her another chance, tell her that she needs to pay you what she still owes you and pay you properly from now on (maybe with a raise). Also tell her that she needs to treat you with respect and not take her anger, hurt, and frustrations out on you or the kids.

    Maybe you are completely done with them all, and maybe you are the angel that can help the mom and her kids through something hard.

  11. That_Illustrator240 Avatar

    NTA. If she’s not paying you, then you don’t work. She needs to watch her own kinds but the 1year old calling you mom is not a flex. At that age she’ll women are mom.

  12. teiubescsami Avatar

    Don’t let other people‘s children call you “mom”

  13. DesperateLobster69 Avatar

    NTA. You can quit any job for any reason.

  14. MrsMiterSaw Avatar
    • You are not a slave. You can work for who you want to.
    • forgetting to pay you on time, paying you less than she led you to believe you would be paid, and inconsistent pay are all excellent reasons to stop working for someone.
    • being treated disrespectfully is a great reason to not work for someone
    • being yelled at is a great reason to not work for someone
    • being called an asshole is a great reason to not work for someone

    This is actually really good practice for you.

    It demonstrates that despite how you feel about the kids and the family, this is a job and nothing more.

    If you don’t want to do it, you stand by your decision. No one, not Mina, not Jason, and no one else gets to judge you for deciding you don’t want to work for them.

    And by the way, simply “You know, I’m not enjoying this job” is enough of a reason to not work for someone. And the way you have been treated? More than good enough.

    Stand your ground. It sounds like Mina may not be a terrible person, that she’s just going through a really hard time… But it’s not your responsibility to be her punching bag.

  15. Next-Adhesiveness957 Avatar

    NTA. You are just a sitter, not a parent. The fact that the little one calls you mom tells me everything I need to know. She doesn’t gaf about those kids. They never spend time with them, and they are starved for attention. You definitely don’t need to put up with her abusing you. Not cool! Good job standing up for yourself!

  16. BeckyW77 Avatar
  17. Appropriate_Play_201 Avatar

    There is a lot of drama in your story about the marriage of your bosses.

    That is not your story to tell and is pure gossip. And it doesn’t have anything to do with the facts.

    Facts are, you are a babysitter of 3 kids, the parents are divorced now and since then you don’t like to work there anymore. So since you are not a slave: quit your job and leave.

  18. calypsosmoon Avatar

    NTA, it’s a toxic environment and you don’t want to be a part of it. It’s not like they’re forcing you to babysit. If you’re uncomfortable, quit and move on.

  19. Fallout4Addict Avatar

    NTA, but please contact the children’s father and let him know that you can no longer babysit his children and explain what you have told us here. Hopefully, he will pay you what’s owed (make sure you tell him the exact amount of wages you are owed) and be there for his children.

  20. Bergenia1 Avatar

    NTA. She doesn’t pay you, she is disrespectful to you. You’re not her child, you’re not her property. You owe her nothing.

  21. Brave_anonymous1 Avatar

    Nta. You are her babysitter, not an emotional punching bag.

    Don’t contact her anymore. Don’t pick up when she calls. If you are comfortable, ask your parents/grandparents to talk to her or Jason about paying you what she owes you.

  22. arnott Avatar

    Life lesson in not being exploited and bullied.

  23. Upbeat-Assistant8101 Avatar

    NTA

    From a sweet number where the babysitting was almist enjoyable to a nasty job/employer. I’m sorry you’ve been subjected to this irate, dysfunctional woman. I feel for the children who’ve lost a mom and also their super-mom. The mom needs to learn some survival skills (and to grow up). You’ve done the healthy, right thing for yourself – you’ve prioritized your self-respect and self-care.

  24. BestConfidence1560 Avatar

    You absolutely did the right thing.

  25. Dull-Geologist-8204 Avatar

    I actually quit babysitting after doing it or rich people.

    I had been babysitting for 6 years at that point for normal people. Normal people includes the family n a cult. Babysat for rich people a handful of times and was done with babysitting.

    What is wrong with them? It’s pretty bad when you would rather babysit for cult members then rich people.