This story happend 7-10 years ago when I was in highscool in Denmark. A classmate lets call him Denis has barely showed up for classes in our senior highschool year, it was a rare sight that he showed up in class, and thats only when his friend that he always hang out with has to work morning shift instead of night shift at his job.
Around 4 months before graduation we were told that Denis got kicked out of school for high absence procentage. He showed up at the school few days later telling me it sucks, I asked if his parents knew about it and he said no, and said but he will tell them.
In Denmark when you graduate highschool, you get to wear a white hat that kinda look like train conductor hat, as a symbol for you finishing high school, and with your classmates you rent a big open truck on graduation day and drive around playing music and having fun, and making stops at each classmates house to eat snacks and have drinks.
Around a month before graduation you get your hat from a company that comes to the school, since Denis got kicked out he didnt get a hat. One day his father showed up at school to pick up Denis as he thought Denis was at school ( He didnt tell ) and saw me and some other guys from my class, and started talking to us.
His father was a turkish immigrant and came from a very small village in turkey, so Denis was the first in his family to graduate from highschool and he was telling us how proud he was about it and that he is looking forward to the graduation day as they have prepared for us coming and also a big graduation party for his son afterwards.
I knew his father and he was a nice man and i felt bad, so when he asked where Denis was I decided to tell him that his son is not here and he got kicked out. He was confused and couldnt believe it, and walked aggressively towards the front office. I followed him and he went in and asked about it, front office confirmed it and said they sent multible letters with warnings to their home addresse and was told to show up for meeting with school counsler but he never showed up.
His dad left angrily.
After graduation and summer break I went by my Highschool to get a extra copy of my finals results and i saw his little sister she started her first year as a highschooler. I asked what happend to Denis and she told me that Denis was trying to fake his own graduation.
He managed to buy a hat online and also paid someone to photoshop fake deploma and test results, he told his father that graduation ceramony was only for student and teachers no guests allowed and that the truck thing was cancelled cause they were unable to get a trunk for that day.
The day his father found out he came home angry and yelling and they had a huge argument. His father was very dissapointed and decided not to speak to him anymore. His sister said he moved to turkey and joined the army as he couldnt find a job there either.
so Am I the A hole for telling his dad ?
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This story happend 7-10 years ago when I was in highscool in Denmark. A classmate lets call him Denis has barely showed up for classes in our senior highschool year, it was a rare sight that he showed up in class, and thats only when his friend that he always hang out with has to work morning shift instead of night shift at his job.
Around 4 months before graduation we were told that Denis got kicked out of school for high absence procentage. He showed up at the school few days later telling me it sucks, I asked if his parents knew about it and he said no, and said but he will tell them.
In Denmark when you graduate highschool, you get to wear a white hat that kinda look like train conductor hat, as a symbol for you finishing high school, and with your classmates you rent a big open truck on graduation day and drive around playing music and having fun, and making stops at each classmates house to eat snacks and have drinks.
Around a month before graduation you get your hat from a company that comes to the school, since Denis got kicked out he didnt get a hat. One day his father showed up at school to pick up Denis as he thought Denis was at school ( He didnt tell ) and saw me and some other guys from my class, and started talking to us.
His father was a turkish immigrant and came from a very small village in turkey, so Denis was the first in his family to graduate from highschool and he was telling us how proud he was about it and that he is looking forward to the graduation day as they have prepared for us coming and also a big graduation party for his son afterwards.
I knew his father and he was a nice man and i felt bad, so when he asked where Denis was I decided to tell him that his son is not here and he got kicked out. He was confused and couldnt believe it, and walked aggressively towards the front office. I followed him and he went in and asked about it, front office confirmed it and said they sent multible letters with warnings to their home addresse and was told to show up for meeting with school counsler but he never showed up.
His dad left angrily.
After graduation and summer break I went by my Highschool to get a extra copy of my finals results and i saw his little sister she started her first year as a highschooler. I asked what happend to Denis and she told me that Denis was trying to fake his own graduation.
He managed to buy a hat online and also paid someone to photoshop fake deploma and test results, he told his father that graduation ceramony was only for student and teachers no guests allowed and that the truck thing was cancelled cause they were unable to get a trunk for that day.
The day his father found out he came home angry and yelling and they had a huge argument. His father was very dissapointed and decided not to speak to him anymore. His sister said he moved to turkey and joined the army as he couldnt find a job there either.
so Am I the A hole for telling his dad ?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> well when i told his dad it caused a huge argument between them which caused in him leaving the country as his father refused to talk to him, i am not sure if i did right thing or wrong thing. Some told me that i should have mind my own business and not tell his dad as i was not best friend with the classmate.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
His dad was going to find out eventually even if you didn’t tell him nta
NTA
Even if you didn’t tell his Dad, some one that day would have. Teacher, Office worker, another Student. And even if no one said anything, he would have noticed he wasn’t there.
You were under no obligation to lie for him.
NTA. You spoke the truth when asked. His father would have found out anyway. Sorry your friend did not act more responsibly and honestly, but that was not on you. Hopefully he is doing well now though.
NTA. If Denis put as much effort into school as he did for his scam, he’d have graduated easily. His Dad deserved to know.
NTA, not your problem if the idiot decides to lie to his parents.
NTA. Denis was lying to his parents. He had been skipping school for months, got expelled, and then tried to deceive his father with a fake diploma and graduation story. His dad had a right to know the truth, especially since he was clearly proud and invested in his son’s education. Plus, The father’s reaction was understandable. He was rightfully upset that his son threw away an opportunity he clearly valued. His disappointment and decision to cut contact were his own choices, not your fault.
NTA. How were you supposed to know what Denis told his parents? And his dad was going to find out eventually. No one forced Denis’ hands in mot showing up for school or lying to his parents about graduation. Denis is living with the consequences of his own actions.
NTA
Slight YTA, it wasn’t your job to tell him, he would have found out on his own anyway it sounds like. And tbh it’s better to be cautious about info like that, you never know who might be hitting their kids when they get mad.
“You’re going to need to talk to him about that.”
That is the sort of lie that is found out sooner or later. You spoke the truth, and did not stick your nose into someone’s business to do it. You were asked. NTA