So I (17M) have a cousin Emily (16F) who’s honestly always been a lot. She constantly needs to be the center of attention — at birthdays, holidays, even funerals (not joking, she cried louder than the widow at our uncle’s😭).
Last weekend we had a family BBQ at my grandparents’ house. My older brother just got accepted into his dream med school, so everyone was kind of celebrating him. We were all congratulating him, taking pictures, etc., and Emily kept interrupting with stuff like “Well I got all A’s this semester” and “Ill get into a better college soon just watch” Nobody was really reacting, and she kept pushing it.
Finally, when she interrupted again while my grandma was trying to do a toast for my brother, I just said, “Emily, not everything is about you. You’re not the main character like you dumbly seem to think you are” or something along those lines.
She went totally silent, then got up and left. Her mom (my aunt) called me “cruel” and said I belittled her in front of the whole family. My parents think I could’ve worded it nicer, but they also say someone had to say it eventually(good to know someone agreed). My brother said I’m a legend. She hasn’t spoken to me since, and now some family on my mom’s side are acting weird toward me.
So Reddit… AITA for finally snapping and saying what I said?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team.
So I (17M) have a cousin Emily (16F) who’s honestly always been a lot. She constantly needs to be the center of attention — at birthdays, holidays, even funerals (not joking, she cried louder than the widow at our uncle’s😭).
Last weekend we had a family BBQ at my grandparents’ house. My older brother just got accepted into his dream med school, so everyone was kind of celebrating him. We were all congratulating him, taking pictures, etc., and Emily kept interrupting with stuff like “Well I got all A’s this semester” and “Ill get into a better college soon just watch” Nobody was really reacting, and she kept pushing it.
Finally, when she interrupted again while my grandma was trying to do a toast for my brother, I just said, “Emily, not everything is about you. You’re not the main character like you dumbly seem to think you are” or something along those lines.
She went totally silent, then got up and left. Her mom (my aunt) called me “cruel” and said I belittled her in front of the whole family. My parents think I could’ve worded it nicer, but they also say someone had to say it eventually(good to know someone agreed). My brother said I’m a legend. She hasn’t spoken to me since, and now some family on my mom’s side are acting weird toward me.
So Reddit… AITA for finally snapping and saying what I said?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I told her she’s not the main character and she’s dumb for thinking it (2) It was a mean thing to say not knowing her background and why she may be doing it
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Your not the ah but you could’ve said it a bit nicer
A bit of an asshole maybe.
Have you sat down with Emily ever? Do you see she is maybe a bit insecure and just needs to be heard and seen?
Is your family possibly a bit patriarchal and maybe Emily feels like she needs to do twice as much to be half as important?
These interruptions all sound like a cry for love and attention and maybe checking in on Emily versus calling her the main character is the kinder way to go
NTA- Sounds like her parents enable her behavior.
YTA, public humiliation was the first time you mentioned this to her?
NTA. Don’t sweat this, yeah you could have worded it better but, it wouldn’t have had the impact that it seems the situation required. Personally, I feel like you used exactly the right approach but, I am kind of an AH. People like that need to be made aware of their actions so that hopefully she can improve herself and not continue to be like that forever. She sounds insufferable.
LOL, good for you and great line.
NTA. If people really didn’t want someone to say something to her in public, they should have talked to her in private
NTA. It’s actually perfect, by being mad she can now feel
justified to make the whole event entirely about her.
YTA but worth it. And also a legend :^)
NTA
She sounds really selfish and spoiled. It’s a bit unbalanced for you to answer your aunt, but someone should have answered, “well, she hasn’t stopped trying to steal borther’s thunder all day, and wouldn’t shut up and let grandpa talk. She was being rude and inconvenient and it got to the point where it needed to be addressed.”
NTA. Should you have said it nicer? Yea, but like she had it coming. I feel like sometimes you just need to be straight up for someone to finally get a hint. Also she’s 16 I think she will survive.
NTA – I’ve met a few of her in my life and that sounds like a certified W on your part.
Teddy Roosevelt’s daughter once said that he wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding, and the baby at every christening. Maybe get a t-shirt made for her with that quote.
NTA her parents are enablers of her actions its sickening
NTA. Mentioning that she got straight As (If it is true) is okay, but she “earned” your comment with “I’ll get into a better college, just wait and see!”
Sometimes people need to be introduced to reality. You did that. NTA
NTA. If not you, someone who’s not family and who’s a lot meaner would’ve told her soon enough. She’ll get over it as will other family. If not, good riddance. Seems the 16 years you’ve all dealt with this was quite enough if family is agreeing with your words. Who wants that attitude for the rest of their life?
NTA, maybe you could of worded it a bit better but someone needed their ego dropped like a rock.
If she acts like that I can’t imagine she has to many friends.
Some times you gotta be the @$$ hole. It hits home better. Being nice can be dismissed easily by a fair hunk of the population. Stop handing out kindness like its unfinite because it’s not. We all have our limits and you reached yours and she will be fine despite the small public embarrassment.
NTA, from the sound of it this isn’t new activity. It’s just unfortunate that you’re the person who had to say something and not her parents.
The only thing here that borders AH is the way you responded, maybe you could have waited till after to say something but I can understand your frustration.
YTA for the wording. You don’t have to call her dumb to call her out.
Jesus not fucking Emily. She’s the worst! NTA
I love how your family put up with her undermining other people’s grief / achievements / family events but the minute someone upsets her with a dose of reality it’s somehow unacceptable. I wonder why she is the way she is…?