For context, my coworker (36 F) borrowed $40 from me (18 F). I let her, since she mentioned it was for her children. For two weeks straight,
she repeatedly would tell me she would pay me back the next day (which she did not)
A few days ago, I was in the takeaway room (for context, I work at a chain restaurant as a hostess) and a few people in there were talking about their experiences with lending her money. I proceed to tell them mine, to which make another co worker angry enough to take it to management.
I ended up being paid back due to management saying something. The issue is, and where I may be the a-hole, is that she actually told me not to tell anyone nor take it to management. Now, she is telling people that I am lying, so I don’t know what to do. Aita?
Ps: This may be unimportant, but she has made several remarks about my anxiety and a few about my appearance. I remember when I trusted her more, I told her about a crush I had, and she proceeded to tell everyone there, including him, about it.
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For context, my coworker (36 F) borrowed $40 from me (18 F). I let her, since she mentioned it was for her children. For two weeks straight,
she repeatedly would tell me she would pay me back the next day (which she did not)
A few days ago, I was in the takeaway room (for context, I work at a chain restaurant as a hostess) and a few people in there were talking about their experiences with lending her money. I proceed to tell them mine, to which make another co worker angry enough to take it to management.
I ended up being paid back due to management saying something. The issue is, and where I may be the a-hole, is that she actually told me not to tell anyone nor take it to management. Now, she is telling people that I am lying, so I don’t know what to do. Aita?
Ps: This may be unimportant, but she has made several remarks about my anxiety and a few about my appearance. I remember when I trusted her more, I told her about a crush I had, and she proceeded to tell everyone there, including him, about it.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I told another co worker about another co worker not returning money that was borrowed from me.
2. I may be the asshole, since the co worker who borrowed money from me told me to not tell anyone or management.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. This person told you not to tell because they knew you’d learn they have a track record of this. You said you used to trust them more, but it seems like you shouldn’t trust them at all.
omg nta
what 36 yo borrows money from an 18 yr old ???? i am 24 and would absolutely never .
i’m a server and this is so weird. never lend money to your co workers !!!!!!!
this is messy restaurant behavior , i say do nothing about her saying you’re lying, let her tell anyone whatever she wants, it just makes her look silly. trust me nobody including your crush respects her or takes her seriously, even for the fact alone that she’s trying to beef with someone over half her age.
if she continues to make you uncomfortable definitely go to management about her behavior, especially with the comments she makes about your appearance.
NTA 36f definitely is an AH. She sounds like a manipulating bully taking advantage of you because you’re young and nieve. Yeah I’m sure she didn’t want you to tell anyone so she would never pay you back… In fact AH is far too kind of a description for this “woman” … Nah your fine babe. You do you and just try to avoid this 36 yr old trollop.
NTA. It sounds like she never matured, her behavior is juvenile. I’m glad you got your money back. Don’t lend anyone money, especially someone so cruel to you.
NTA. She’s taking advantage of you (and others). There’s an important lesson here. Don’t over share at work. There’s always gossip. Try to avoid being a source of new material. Coworkers may want to vent about needing money (especially in restaurants). You can sympathize without loaning anyone money. Most management will not intervene.
So NTA!
In “The Gift of Fear” (great book, not related to this) Gavin de Becker says “When someone tells you “Don’t Tell!”, TELL. When someone tells you “Don’t Yell”, YELL.
These are signal words that you not telling would serve their interests and go against yours.
Your co-worker told you not to tell anyone or take it to management, because she knew she wasn’t going to pay you back and if you kept your word, YOU would be out your money (goes against your interests) and SHE would be spared everyone learning that she’s low enough to borrow money from a teenager who felt sorry for her kids (serves her interests)
Sounds as though other people have their own experiences with her to set against her claim you are lying. So I would ignore what she’s doing there. But never lend money at work again, unless it’s an insignificant amount you can stand to lose, like lending someone a quarter to get a cart and shop at Aldi or a couple bucks for a soda.
NTA. Your co-worker is though. Next time anyone asks to borrow money be strong and say, “I’m unable to do that”
NTA. You were played by a player. Consider this a learning experience. An important rule for any work environment is coworkers are not your friends or bff. Do not tell them anything about your personal life. Do not ‘do business’ (lend or borrow money). Do not socialize with them outside of work. Keep the two worlds (work and personal) separate. You will be much happier because when one part of your world ‘goes south’ then it doesn’t blow up the other part of your world.