I (late 20s F) have been getting irritated with my dad (56M) about something he does, and I want to know if I’m justified.
When we are in public, my dad talks about people loudly, using their full names. It isn’t usually anything bad, just “my friend Jon Jackson bought a lake house up in Minnesota,” or “my neighbor Kelly Garcia just had her first grandchild.” I don’t see any reason to talk about people in public using their full, government names. He lives in a medium-sized town, and there’s a non-zero chance that someone who knows these people will overhear and assume it’s some kind of negative gossip.
My dad’s been like this for years, but his hearing has declined as he’s gotten older, and now he’s a super loud talker.
The other day, I went to my hometown to visit, and we were at the farmers market. He was talking super loud about his friend opening a bar, and he was using their friend’s full name. I told him he should probably either talk quieter or quit saying the full name, and I explained my reasoning.
My dad called me a sourpuss and said it was disrespectful to police him. AITA?
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I (late 20s F) have been getting irritated with my dad (56M) about something he does, and I want to know if I’m justified.
When we are in public, my dad talks about people loudly, using their full names. It isn’t usually anything bad, just “my friend Jon Jackson bought a lake house up in Minnesota,” or “my neighbor Kelly Garcia just had her first grandchild.” I don’t see any reason to talk about people in public using their full, government names. He lives in a medium-sized town, and there’s a non-zero chance that someone who knows these people will overhear and assume it’s some kind of negative gossip.
My dad’s been like this for years, but his hearing has declined as he’s gotten older, and now he’s a super loud talker.
The other day, I went to my hometown to visit, and we were at the farmers market. He was talking super loud about his friend opening a bar, and he was using their friend’s full name. I told him he should probably either talk quieter or quit saying the full name, and I explained my reasoning.
My dad called me a sourpuss and said it was disrespectful to police him. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole because I was micromanaging how my dad talks, which could come across as disrespectful.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Nta
NTA, dude. Not at all. U gotta protect ppl’s privacy these days, it’s a whole diff world out there now. Just try ‘n talk to him again, y’know? Make him understand that it ain’t about disrespect, just about being careful. Good luck fam! 👍🔥
Definitely NTA.
NTA, I hope your dad doesn’t yell out people’s names..
NTA
Why are you visiting this asshole so often? Don’t go, problem solved.
NTA. Fuckin’ dads…
Your dads out there doxing people in the real world
NTA
This, again. When person A does something that person B doesn’t like, it isn’t necessarily disrespectful. It doesn’t become disrespectful because A is B’s child, either.
As you are entirely in the right, yet dad doesn’t want to be criticized, turn it around on him. Insist that he explain how pointing out that he is telling everyone’s business at high volume is disrespectful. Make him reason it through, out loud. He won’t be able to come up with any reason other than “I’m your father”, and it could be entertaining for you, so win-win.
No one’s the asshole. OP being a bit sensitive and petro. If someone wanted to find and harm Ricardo Gonzalez or Bob Smith, etc…. they are already going to find them. Stop with the whole “government name BS”….you’re name is your name…period
NTA
People who claim that your normal request is disrespectful tend to have a case of Main Character Syndrome and literally can’t process another being needing privacy or respect from them.
He literally CANNOT self-reflect.
My parents are like this.
NTA, I work in the private investigative field and your dad could be giving investigators incriminating information… I mean the probability of that is most likely low but maybe it’s something you can use to get him to stop. I would want people talking about me by my full government name like that in public either even if it was just random information and not necessarily bad. A lot of people care about their privacy.. trust me.
NTA, I’m gonna assume your dad is generally a good guy who wants to share what his friends are up to but is just really bad at being quiet when talking. Maybe discuss the safety aspect of it, tell him about how some criminals will use info like that to find targets for potential scams, theft, and other crimes.
NTA but also your Dad’s NTA either.
Good luck living anywhere below Virginia if you don’t want your full name used regularly.
Yeah, YTA. Your dad’s 56, he’s getting older. Let him be. And it doesn’t sound like he engages in negative gossip.
You’re not a teenager. Time to get over your dad being “embarrassing” and give him love and support.