Backstory: I’m 28F, married with a baby, and lost my mom in 2018. My dad (46M) and I were never that close emotionally distant, a bit reckless after Mom passed, and surrounded himself with much younger women. I moved out but still supported him financially (10k/month) even after he met his current girlfriend, Glo (47F), who has 4 kids and 1 grandkid all living with my dad now.
Glo doesn’t work, my dad spoils them all with gadgets and now even calls himself “Daddy-Lo” to the grandkid. Meanwhile, he barely sees his actual grandchild.
We recently went out for a test drive for a new car he bought. Glo came along, complained the whole time (down to my perfume), and later sent me a long message accusing me of not accepting their “new family” and not letting my dad “move on” from my mom. I finally snapped and told her, “You’re not my mother. You’ll never be like her.”
Now I’m enemy #1. She blocked me. Dad hasn’t reached out. I stopped sending money, and I’m just done.
Everyone else says I was harsh. My husband says I went too easy.
So AITA for finally real talking her?
Comments
NTA but why did you continue sending money after Glo and her creatures moved in? Why were you paying for them all?
Who bought the new car?
…why would you financially support your father? Especially when you’re not even close? You would be the AH if you continued doing that. He’s an adult. Let him figure it out.
NTA
Ngl what you said was harsh. I will say the reaction was somewhat warranted but I’m sure she knows that she’s not your mother and I don’t think she’s trying to be like her. Tbh it seems like your anger overall is more towards your father than Glo. I question why she’s thinks your not letting your dad move on (is there a part of the story that I’m missing) cause there must be a reason why she’s saying that. Is this an isolated incident? Or has behaviour over time led you to do this burst.
Just cut him off, he doesn’t care about you or your children. He’s just worried about his new fake family and getting hid dick wet.
NTA.
Even if your dad reaches out in the future, You should cut off your dad except for personal expenses like health insurance and perhaps clothes shopping. He’s obviously taking advantage of your generosity without giving much back and is attracting leeches to boot.
Can I have 10K a month then?
I think if she was trying to be your mother, you would definitely not be the AH. However, I don’t really see how your response lined up with her comment? It didn’t really seem like she was trying to be your mother. And why would she, you’re 28 years old? I definitely think she is the AH for her comments, but this situation feels like we’re missing part of the story. Why do you feel like she’s trying to be your mother? Why does she feel like you’re not letting your dad move on? And for the love of God, why the hell are you sending your dad money every week? Your issues seem to be a lot more between you and your dad.
So you would have us believe that you support your dad to the tune of $120K annually?
NTA. You set a clear boundary with someone disrespecting your grief and space. Glo’s behavior was entitled and manipulative, and your dad’s silence says a lot. You spoke your truth, harsh but fair.
I find it difficult to believe a 28 year old can support themselves AND send 10k a month to someone else.
HUBBY IS GREEN FLAG! U WENT TOO EASY. NTA. Send me their addy
No one believes that you were sending your father $10,000 a month while supporting yourself in your mid 20s in this economy.
Why were you sending your dad so much money to begin with? He’s 46 not 106. NTA. Take care of yourself and your kid.
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I’m sure you meant to be generous, but 10k a month encouraged your dad to be a slacker in middle age. He’s not an elderly retiree. Because he had money, he attracted someone who was looking for someone to support her offspring. How dare she treat you like that. You did the right thing by cutting off the money. Let’s see how long she stays around.
NTA The entitlement is so real with some people! I’m sorry to say but your father doesn’t WANT to be part of your life. We don’t know the relationship your parents had or the circumstances of her passing but he grieved by shutting you out, drowning in women and TAKING money from you when he was probably more then capable of providing for himself (assuming he’s not disabled or anything!) That’s not the actions of a loving caring supportive father! Move on with your life, shut that door, end the chapter, change your phone number, cut all ties! And mute any and all relatives that try to guilt trip you about it! You are a parent now and you have to set an example and expectations of what you will and will not expect! People can only treat you the way you allow them to! Good luck to you!
NTA she wants to erase you from his life. What she didn’t realize is you were helping to support her new lifestyle. She FAFO. Don’t worry about it you did the right thing
NTA – don’t about it. Not your circus and he obviously doesn’t care.
Stop sending money to your father. He’s a grown man, he can get a job.
The money ends now.
How much money are you making OP if you can drop 10k/month to someone else? I call bullshit , if you were paying for your dad this much money, no matter how much of a dick he is he would want his cash cow to stop giving him money. Something is very fishy in this story. And he doesn’t even work? You are only 28? Yta for the fake story, it’s not even a good story.
> I stopped sending money
There you go. “New family” accepted! They can “new family finance” it all on their own now.
And I’m with your husband. I’d send them back invoices going back to when that woman and her brood popped up. You’ll never collect, but you’ll make a point, and scare the living crap out of them seeing how much this shit will cost them.
How bout you stop supporting your father w such an exorbitant amount of money every month? He’s out here buying his fake grandkids devices & a new car for himself on your dime, meanwhile he hasn’t seen his real grandkids?
Dry up his gravy train.
Your dad is not that old and not even in retirement age. Why do you give him money? He can still do some job and earn money. Do not give any money. Spend it for yourself and your kid.
good for you, move on. life is to short to deal with those kind of people like your father and his girlfriend
Are you rich? Or you just have a wild imagination? 120K a year to fund his and his gf’s lifestyle? Suuuuurreee
NTA.
She isn’t, plain and simple.
I could use an extra 10k/month if you need to send money somewhere……
…….just saying
………😁
NTA everyone is wrong. You are not being too harsh. Dad and Glo are taking advantage of your generosity.
Put that money into a savings account for your child’s college or something to that affect as they get older
u/bot-sleuth-bot
Why are you giving your dad 10k a month. If he’s not gonna stand up for you when his girlfriend treated you like crap then I wouldn’t send him anything. He can figure it out on his own.
Why are you sending your Father money?
Curious where you are located.
Good luck!
Wait, you were sending your father $120,000 a year!? Glad you stopped paying him to treat you like shit.
“Everyone” might disagree with you but it’s clear your husband agrees. So listen to him. It’s one of the reasons you keep him around 😂
NTA