I (23 F) just had a big argument with my dad and he is not willing to listen to me, like always.
Today, I was going on about my day as usual when I suddenly felt so emotional and that I’d start crying any moment, no angry fits just sad and depressed. I shrugged it off as my period is nearing and this must be my hormones acting up.
My father (52? M) planned to take me, my sister and my mother out so we can buy new mattress for MY BED to replace the broken old one (I have been sleeping on the floor for months and it’s not bad. I even got a topper to lay down on and it’s comfy enough so i never felt the need to buy a new one in a hurry). He never informed me of that before so it took me by a surprise.
At that point I feel too emotional to go outside as I’d probably cry. He doesnt care despite me protesting and dragged me out anyway and keep saying that I am weak for not being able to stop crying. Needless to say, I cried the whole trip at furniture store with no real reason. The thing is I can’t stop. I instantly know it’s because my hormones. I would never cry in front of strangers.
He keep saying that I am childish, I never answered back. After we got home, I excused myself to my room so I could sort myself out in peace.
Then he followed me into my room and keep berating me about how I am a disappointment, unable to take care of myself and childish that I cant stop crying. I told him that my period is near and I am unable to control my tears because my hormones are weird right now. He doesnt care though. He keep saying that I use it as an excuse all the time.Which is not true. This is my first time being unable to control my tears like that. I rarely cry in front of him let alone in public.
So I decided to end the argument by telling him to leave me alone if he is not willing to listen to my point of view. I never talked back to him so this is probably new. Now we are not talking to each other at all.
AITA for just dismissing him like that?
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I (23 F) just had a big argument with my dad and he is not willing to listen to me, like always.
Today, I was going on about my day as usual when I suddenly felt so emotional and that I’d start crying any moment, no angry fits just sad and depressed. I shrugged it off as my period is nearing and this must be my hormones acting up.
My father (52? M) planned to take me, my sister and my mother out so we can buy new mattress for MY BED to replace the broken old one (I have been sleeping on the floor for months and it’s not bad. I even got a topper to lay down on and it’s comfy enough so i never felt the need to buy a new one in a hurry). He never informed me of that before so it took me by a surprise.
At that point I feel too emotional to go outside as I’d probably cry. He doesnt care despite me protesting and dragged me out anyway and keep saying that I am weak for not being able to stop crying. Needless to say, I cried the whole trip at furniture store with no real reason. The thing is I can’t stop. I instantly know it’s because my hormones. I would never cry in front of strangers.
He keep saying that I am childish, I never answered back. After we got home, I excused myself to my room so I could sort myself out in peace.
Then he followed me into my room and keep berating me about how I am a disappointment, unable to take care of myself and childish that I cant stop crying. I told him that my period is near and I am unable to control my tears because my hormones are weird right now. He doesnt care though. He keep saying that I use it as an excuse all the time.Which is not true. This is my first time being unable to control my tears like that. I rarely cry in front of him let alone in public.
So I decided to end the argument by telling him to leave me alone if he is not willing to listen to my point of view. I never talked back to him so this is probably new. Now we are not talking to each other at all.
AITA for just dismissing him like that?
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As additional info.
I am asian and it’s normal to live in the same house even after 18. I am working towards getting my degree so I can move away from him.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) Me telling my father to go away
(2) I was emotional when I told him that so I believed I could have been more rational.
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NTA. It’s hard to regulate your emotions when you’re hormonal but what you needed was some quiet space to sort out your feelings. Instead you were dragged into public, berated, and then he violated your space by following you into your room. This was him not reading the situation, not respecting boundaries, and just being an asshole. I don’t even know why I’d want to take someone openly weeping shopping. Clearly today is not the day. It would have been one thing to be mad that you’re crying and you can’t articulate why, he’s out in public, it’s weird. But you’re clearly upset so shouting at you does what? How is this making it better? This was just bad parenting on his end.
NTA, oh my godddd crying is the body’s natural way of releasing stress and emotion. It’s so bad for you to hold back tears, that’s so absurd that he’d call you a disappointment for doing something so natural. I get that he might be annoyed at you for crying in public but he should really get over himself and just let it be
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>I suddenly felt so emotional and that I’d start crying any moment, no angry fits just sad and depressed…I feel too emotional to go outside as I’d probably cry…He doesnt care despite me protesting and dragged me out anyway cried the whole trip at furniture store with no real reason.
Dragged you out? You’re 23, just stay home.
NTA. Your father was obviously an asshole in all this, but you need to seek out a doctor’s advice about this level of emotional turmoil around period time. There are medicines and dietary changes that could significantly help. He won’t be the last person in your life who gets frustrated over this kind of situation.
NTA. Idk your dad sounds like mine and he’s not great. He’s narcissistic and lack empathy. Believeee me I tried to make things work but he js never cared. It’s always about them and always had to be their way. And now I’m almost 30 so I’m tired of making the effort. Some never change.
If you don’t have pmdd, yta.
Your post would make much more sense if you were 14. But you’re an adult. Sounds like your pops wants you to act like it. Can’t fault him for that
You are 23, living with your parents, your father is buying you a new mattress… what are you crying about exactly? You might be TA if you are crying because your dad is buying you a new mattress.
NTA. Your father is a abuser.
Ppl telling ypu to take medicine for being too emotional, have probably never had a period and dont get that sometimes you just have to cry and thats normal and ok. no outbursts?! Proud of you 👏 ❤️
No
Your father is either a sociopath or a narcicist or both
I have toxic people in my family
I keep them as far from me and my kids as possible
Let me be clear
I brought my kids up to be fairly tough
But I was never overbearing and cruel
It is the job of every parent to bring out the best in our kids and make them feel valued loved and that they know we are proud of them
This behaviour is wrong on every level
You have to find a way to get it to stop
How you achieve this is down to you but clearly it might be difficult
Can your mother help you sort this out ?
Good luck
NTA- your father is! He is totally being controlling, dismissive of your feelings and disrespectful to you. Not talking to each other for a while may be a good thing.
NTA it’s not your fault that your hormones decided to make you weepy on the day he decides to take you shopping. He is the asshole for not listening to you and being a total idiot about it. You tried to tell him, but he didn’t care. I wouldn’t talk to him until he gets his head out of his ass and listens when you try and talk to him about it.
NTA
Anyone saying you were too emotional either don’t have periods, or have no idea how they work. I’m sorry your father treats you like that OP.
NTA. sorry to hear all this
About time!! Do it more often, please.