My little brother has very curly/frizzy longish hair. Basically 3B with very tight curls. Possibly even more curly than that I’m not entirely sure. He normally has to go to a black barber because it is so curly and we’ve had negative experiences with other barbers in the past that haven’t known how to cut his hair. It gets very knotted and hard to take care of when we go swimming, in the ocean, etc. All he wanted for his birthday was to get braids done while we were on vacation so it would be easier to take care of. He’s 13. After discussing it and researching, my parents decided to allow it. He talked to several of his friends before hand that have had braids before so he knew what to get and how to take care of them. He went and got them done last night and LOVES them. He’s so excited to not have to stress about his hair on vacation. Well where the problem comes in is, he’s white. He’s not trying to be disrespectful in any way, and it was a very educated decision for him and my parents.
Well, last night I was talking to two of my best friends in a group chat and I excitedly told them that he had gotten them done for vacation. My one friend let’s call her Alyssa, got kind of upset when I told her. She’s black and said it was cultural appropriation. I never responded because she completely killed my excitement for my brother and I just didn’t expect her to say that. Now I’m worried that people are going to judge my brother or my family and people might be angry with him. It was never his intention to upset anybody, it was a genuine need for his hair. The lady who braided his hair said she has all types of people come in to get their hair braided and she didn’t seem to have a problem with it at all. So, AITA for telling my friend my brother got corn rows or for “allowing” him to get them?
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My little brother has very curly/frizzy longish hair. Basically 3B with very tight curls. Possibly even more curly than that I’m not entirely sure. He normally has to go to a black barber because it is so curly and we’ve had negative experiences with other barbers in the past that haven’t known how to cut his hair. It gets very knotted and hard to take care of when we go swimming, in the ocean, etc. All he wanted for his birthday was to get braids done while we were on vacation so it would be easier to take care of. He’s 13. After discussing it and researching, my parents decided to allow it. He talked to several of his friends before hand that have had braids before so he knew what to get and how to take care of them. He went and got them done last night and LOVES them. He’s so excited to not have to stress about his hair on vacation. Well where the problem comes in is, he’s white. He’s not trying to be disrespectful in any way, and it was a very educated decision for him and my parents.
Well, last night I was talking to two of my best friends in a group chat and I excitedly told them that he had gotten them done for vacation. My one friend let’s call her Alyssa, got kind of upset when I told her. She’s black and said it was cultural appropriation. I never responded because she completely killed my excitement for my brother and I just didn’t expect her to say that. Now I’m worried that people are going to judge my brother or my family and people might be angry with him. It was never his intention to upset anybody, it was a genuine need for his hair. The lady who braided his hair said she has all types of people come in to get their hair braided and she didn’t seem to have a problem with it at all. So, AITA for telling my friend my brother got corn rows or for “allowing” him to get them?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I might be the asshole because I allowed my little brother to get cornrows while my friend said it’s “cultural appropriation” and I ignored her water she said that.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Nah, she’s the asshole. Let kids be kids. Not everything is a race issue
NTA the reason white people normally shouldn’t get cornrows because STRAIGHT hair doesn’t need it, your brother has the type of hair that needs protective styles so i see 0 problem with him using them
Vikings used braids. Also, very little of what is called cultural appropriation actually is cultural appropriation, if any. Maybe wearing a native american war bonnet might qualify, since it has a cultural significance, but braiding curly hair definitely not.
This is such a 2019 opinion to have. We’ve all learned that certain races can’t own a hair style, any more than they can own a hair texture. Sure, there is a significantly higher percentage of black people who have very curly hair, but that doesn’t mean that nobody else in the world who has that type of hair texture can style their hair in ways that work for that texture.
NTA, your friend needs to get in her lane.
eta: I’d also like to highlight the fact that your brother goes to a black barber to get his hair cut and styled. That’s the exact opposite of appropriation – that’s support for black owned businesses.
Ask your friend what she’d suggest your brother do instead then to take care of his hair. I’m betting she won’t have an answer.
NTA. Braiding hair is a big part of many cultures, like the Vikings, celt, and other Scandinavian/European cultures, going back thousands of years. It is not an exclusively black cultural practice. If it is best for your brother’s hair, then that is what he should do.
Your friend is gatekeeping braiding and finding insult where there is none.
It’s not cultural appropriation. Black folks dont have a monopoly on braids.
Nta. Tell your brother that this black southern auntie says to wear them proudly…and put some beads on the ends. 😊
NTA
I can see how you’d be worried based on your friend’s response. Being that your brother has unmanageable hair that needs extra attention, this seems like a good choice. Plus, he spoke with several friends who didn’t seem to care, and offered good advice to him.
I hope your vacation is a great time, and you don’t hear anything about it on your trip.
Your friend is the AH. She is gate keeping hair. If your brother had straight hair it would be different conversation, but he has a tight coil pattern and has chosen a protective hairstyle for that pattern. Why is it cultural appropriation to have a protective hairstyle for your hair type? Ask her that.
NTA your friend doesn’t know what cultural appropriation is. That hairstyle is for anyone who’s hair can take it.
NTA. I understand your friend’s pov about cultural appropriation because I’m sure plenty of ppl get braids not for a genuine need but just for the aesthetic. But this is your brother, I assume she must’ve met him and must know what his hair looked like and the issues he was having with it which led to this decision?
NTA on either count.
Cornrows type tight braids have been are in many cultures that have strong hair, Vikings are notable for this and there are ancient European statues with tight braids . For many people with thinner hair. tight braids can damage their hair and shouldn’t wear them for that reason. But you got the locks, they should feel able to rock them.
Might want to call them tight braids, as the term “Cornrows” is tightly tied to black history.
As a black African, NTA. Your brother can get cornrows and I don’t see anything bad about it.
NTA anyone who has an issue with isn’t worth your time
NTA. if his hair is made for the protective nature of those braids and it won’t damage his hair then it’s the furthest thing from cultural appropriation.
if anything it’s appreciation because those styles are going to improve his day to day if he has trouble with managing his hair on his own.
>the problem comes in, he’s white
this isnt the problem, your friend is the problem. what a weird reaction from them. ignore your problem friend until they go away. hopefully they grow as a person.
nta
NTA. Your friend doesn’t understand the actual definition of cultural appropriation.
My white husband loves food that doesn’t mean he’s appropriating Mexican culture.
I love K dramas, anime and manga this doesn’t mean that I’m appropriating Korean or Japanese culture.
For your brother it’s about maintenance. He’s not trying to pretend that he’s black.
I also understand that she may feel sensitive because there is a lot of cultural appropriation of black culture but if she is really your friend she should know that you mean you disrespect.