I (20M) live in a 2br apartment with a roommate. He and I are part of a small friend group, which regularly hang out together at our apartment. One of these friends (let’s call him Ben), likes to borrow my Nintendo switch (not connected to a tv), which I keep in my bedroom, to play when we’re hanging out. Sometimes we play games together on separate devices and sometimes he just plays by himself if we’re sitting around not doing anything. I typically have no issue with this, however, recently theres been a few occasions where I was not home and Ben was hanging out with my roommate and other friends at my apartment. He’s started going into my room and grabbing the switch to play with the others without asking me. I knew they were hanging out and might want to play video games, but he did not ask me if he could borrow the switch or go into my room to grab it. This isn’t a big deal, but I don’t want this to become a regular thing where he enters my room when I’m out and uses my things without asking. I told him not to do that and he agreed, but now he’s acting like I turned it into a big deal and implying that it’s a normal thing for friends to do. AITA?
Edit: we are in college, so boundaries and maturity are not a strong suit, take that as you will
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I (20M) live in a 2br apartment with a roommate. He and I are part of a small friend group, which regularly hang out together at our apartment. One of these friends (let’s call him Ben), likes to borrow my Nintendo switch (not connected to a tv), which I keep in my bedroom, to play when we’re hanging out. Sometimes we play games together on separate devices and sometimes he just plays by himself if we’re sitting around not doing anything. I typically have no issue with this, however, recently theres been a few occasions where I was not home and Ben was hanging out with my roommate and other friends at my apartment. He’s started going into my room and grabbing the switch to play with the others without asking me. I knew they were hanging out and might want to play video games, but he did not ask me if he could borrow the switch or go into my room to grab it. This isn’t a big deal, but I don’t want this to become a regular thing where he enters my room when I’m out and uses my things without asking. I told him not to do that and he agreed, but now he’s acting like I turned it into a big deal and implying that it’s a normal thing for friends to do. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) told my friend to stop entering my room and borrowing my Nintendo switch when I’m out or at least ask before doing so.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
INFO: you focused too much on the context and not the actual issue.
How is he acting like you turned it in to a big deal? How is he implying its a normal thing?
Cause up until that point, he thought something was cool, you corrected and he agreed. Its the next bit thats the controversial part.
NTA. It’s your room and your stuff, boundaries matter, even with close friends. You weren’t rude, you just set a clear limit. Ben acting like it’s “normal” doesn’t make it okay. Respecting someone’s space is pretty basic, and any real friend should get that.
NTA. It’s one thing to ask you if he can play with your Switch while you are THERE, and you give permission to go into your room to get it (or better yet, you get it for him yourself). It is quite another for him to go into your personal space when you are NOT there and without your permission. That’s just not cool. Put a lock on your door so no one can enter when you are gone. You have a right to have your personal space NOT be entered without your permission.
ETA: My spouse and I do not go through each others personal spaces without asking first, ffs. If they need something from my office – they ASK. It’s a respect thing. And you are being disrespected. When we are not present in our own space when someone is getting something, what else are they poking around in??? Having had an ex-friend get caught red-handed by me poking around in my personal belongings when they thought I wasn’t home…I take people entering my personal space without my permission very seriously.
NTA…What you’re asking for here is common courtesy and good manners. He needs to respect your boundaries.
NTA. This person should not, under any circumstances, being going into your private space to “borrow” things unless they have your clear, express permission, and permission isn’t blanket it applies to the time they ask, not forever. This person is being incredibly disrespectful and since he is now trying to make you out as being in the wrong clearly has some issues with taking accountability for his own actions. You need to get a lock on your door. Or bar this person from your home.