AITA for telling my “friend” to mind her own business about my weight loss?

r/

I 38f weighed at my highest 351lbs. Under the care of my doctor, in combination with a few other health issues decided that my habits were the problem. I had/have an unhealthy relationship regarding food. I had never seriously attempted to lose weight, and medications and fad diets will never work for me. So, I decided to do it the harder way…dealing with my issues. Over the last year I managed to lose 54 lbs and am for the first time in 6 years under 300 lbs. I am in no way done with working on myself, but none the less proud that the number is going down. I made a post on my FB just stating “Down 54 lbs, finally moving in the right direction” That was it.

Yesterday, we grilled out and invited some of my husbands friends. I wouldn’t consider them my own friends because if not for my husband I wouldn’t socialize with them. I am extremely uncomfortable eating around people, always have been since childhood (I didn’t start gaining weight until my late 20’s). I am working on eating around people . I ate what I would normally eat if I were alone, I had 1 burger, 1 hotdog, some beans, and chips and a Pepsi and later a brownie.

Here’s the issue, NONE of what I ate is what most people would consider “healthy”. I know that. But where I am, I am not looking to supplement my diet yet. I’m working on the habits, and my attitude about food. (Clearly, still working as this has set me off) The amount I ate however, was perfectly fine. The wife of my husbands friend looked at my plate and said “I guess you’re done with your diet”. I just commented “I’m not on a diet”. She said “According to FB you are, you’re bragging about your weight loss”. I said I wasn’t bragging necessarily, I was just proud that I’m doing better. She replied with a very snarky tone “How is that?” while nodding her head towards my plate. I also get extremely agitated when questioned and am made to feel I have to justify everything I do. Her tone and her accusatory comments set me off, so yes, I snapped a little and said “I don’t see how any of this is your business so don’t worry about it” She got a huffy and said “Yeah, you’re really improving” and walked back inside. Her husband (my husband friend) told me “that was un called for” and I said “so is her questioning me and judging me” He rolled his eyes and that was the end of it.

Maybe I am sensitive (always have been about food) but one of the things me and my therapist talk about is how I think people are judging me when in fact no one probably cares about what I’m eating or am doing. I’m learning to understand that I’m not being judged under a microscope. But her tone, and her facial expressions were EXTREMELY judgmental. My husband agrees with me, (he’s not a big fan of hers though so maybe he’s biased) but I keep replaying it over and over. I just didn’t want to explain it all to a woman I barely know when I was trying to just have a good time….AITA?

Comments

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    I 38f weighed at my highest 351lbs. Under the care of my doctor, in combination with a few other health issues decided that my habits were the problem. I had/have an unhealthy relationship regarding food. I had never seriously attempted to lose weight, and medications and fad diets will never work for me. So, I decided to do it the harder way…dealing with my issues. Over the last year I managed to lose 54 lbs and am for the first time in 6 years under 300 lbs. I am in no way done with working on myself, but none the less proud that the number is going down. I made a post on my FB just stating “Down 54 lbs, finally moving in the right direction” That was it.

    Yesterday, we grilled out and invited some of my husbands friends. I wouldn’t consider them my own friends because if not for my husband I wouldn’t socialize with them. I am extremely uncomfortable eating around people, always have been since childhood (I didn’t start gaining weight until my late 20’s). I am working on eating around people . I ate what I would normally eat if I were alone, I had 1 burger, 1 hotdog, some beans, and chips and a Pepsi and later a brownie.

    Here’s the issue, NONE of what I ate is what most people would consider “healthy”. I know that. But where I am, I am not looking to supplement my diet yet. I’m working on the habits, and my attitude about food. (Clearly, still working as this has set me off) The amount I ate however, was perfectly fine. The wife of my husbands friend looked at my plate and said “I guess you’re done with your diet”. I just commented “I’m not on a diet”. She said “According to FB you are, you’re bragging about your weight loss”. I said I wasn’t bragging necessarily, I was just proud that I’m doing better. She replied with a very snarky tone “How is that?” while nodding her head towards my plate. I also get extremely agitated when questioned and am made to feel I have to justify everything I do. Her tone and her accusatory comments set me off, so yes, I snapped a little and said “I don’t see how any of this is your business so don’t worry about it” She got a huffy and said “Yeah, you’re really improving” and walked back inside. Her husband (my husband friend) told me “that was un called for” and I said “so is her questioning me and judging me” He rolled his eyes and that was the end of it.

    Maybe I am sensitive (always have been about food) but one of the things me and my therapist talk about is how I think people are judging me when in fact no one probably cares about what I’m eating or am doing. I’m learning to understand that I’m not being judged under a microscope. But her tone, and her facial expressions were EXTREMELY judgmental. My husband agrees with me, (he’s not a big fan of hers though so maybe he’s biased) but I keep replaying it over and over. I just didn’t want to explain it all to a woman I barely know when I was trying to just have a good time….AITA?

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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > I told someone I am not close to , to basically mind their own buisness when questioned about my food intake. I was rude back to someone who I thought was being rude to me. I got called out, she did not.

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  3. VermilionHeiress Avatar

    NTA. I think this is reflective of how our unhealthy relationships with food are often reinforced by our environments and not calling out that behavior reinforces it.

  4. LabInner262 Avatar

    NTA In fact, you showed more restraint in your responses than I would have. Going forward, anytime husband wants to entertain that couple, make a point of being elsewhere/having other commitments. There is no reason for you to interact with those people.

  5. GontaMan Avatar

    NTA – She’s the one that started out being hostile towards you, then tried to play victim when you rightly called her out for it.

  6. Amiedeslivres Avatar

    NTA

    Nobody should ever make comments like that about another person’s food choices or body, especially at the table while sharing a meal. You socially sharing about your journey is not an invitation for public judgement. Polite food conversation consists of ‘isn’t this tasty, are you enjoying it, I wonder if he’ll give me the recipe for the marinade.’ Period, paragraph.

    Do these folks get invited back? I sure hope not.

  7. Only_Music_2640 Avatar

    NTA- she 100% was along with her husband.

  8. needsmorecoffee Avatar

    Yeah, that whole “nobody’s judging you” thing falls down when people are judging you. Which really does happen, as you well know. NTA at all; you were nicer than I would have been. (I would have been tempted to reach over, take the brownie off of her place, and say, well I guess you must not want this, huh?) I’d recommend answering judgmental comments about your eating habits with “I’m dealing with this with my doctor’s help, and s(he) knows more about this than you do.”

  9. FrontTour1583 Avatar

    NTA. She displayed wildly inappropriate behavior. It’s none of her business how or what you’re eating and how you’re addressing your weight loss goals. She should feel embarrassed and ashamed of her behavior and frankly more people need to be called out for behavior like that.

  10. Mission-Tart-1731 Avatar

    NTA. If your husband didn’t say anything, he’s an ah too. 

  11. MarionberryPlus8474 Avatar

    NTA, what rude behavior for a guest.

  12. yellowjacket1996 Avatar

    NTA. It’s so rude for people to comment on what someone else is eating.

  13. LynnLizzy79 Avatar

    NTA… Congratulations on your weight loss! 🎉

  14. sandstonequery Avatar

    The golden rule about food should be you only pay attention to another’s plate to see if they have enough (in the general sense of food insecurity.) In a grill out or other food setting “eyes on your own plate.”

    That chick probably has some insecurities of her own regarding food.

    NTA

  15. Banditsmisfits Avatar

    NTA at all. I wouldn’t hang out with them again. It’s weird to me your husband didn’t step in though. Like even if he didn’t hear in the moment I feel like he should have texted the husband when y’all left and let them know how inappropriate his wife’s comments were and how uncomfortable they made everyone.

  16. Mayana76 Avatar

    NTA. She overstepped, and became judgemental. Do not let that woman get to you! You do not have to justify your actions to anybody but yourself.

  17. FrankieLovie Avatar

    she was completely out of line

  18. iheartwords Avatar

    NTA and I cannot for the life of me understand her husband’s response.

  19. asamue16 Avatar

    NTA, some people really need to learn to mind their own business. Keep progressing… especially now so you can rub it in her face…

  20. MathiasKejseren Avatar

    NTA

    How rude to behave in someone’s home while she was a guest. Most people don’t get weight gain or loss is mostly a numbers game. That even something as simple as switching from soda to water or diet drastically reduces the calories since there is so much hidden sugar packed in. They think is has to be this grand preformative lifestyle change when in reality doing it that way is almost impossible to maintain. Its really small changes over time that have the most long lasting impact.

    Good on you for losing the weight and shame on her for trying to mock you for it. Honestly I’d ask you husband to ask her husband to leave the wife at home next time if that’s the way she talks to the host.

  21. Impossible-Nose3504 Avatar

    NTA. Her feeling free to comment on your food choices is beyond rude. I would never even think to make such a comment to anyone for any reason. I may comment on my own choices but not someone else’s. I’ve also struggled with my relationship with food for most of my life and I applaud your loss and your approach to taking in regard to your behavior with food and situations first. Not just a diet. Hell if those worked, none of us would have excess weight now would we? You handled her perfectly by mirroring her behavior and she didn’t like it how she was behaving apparently 😄. I wish you the very best and applaud you making yourself and your health first. I’m on a similar journey! Here is to us 🥂😌

  22. ughneedausername Avatar

    NTA. She was, however. Your plate is not her business.

  23. Jumpy_Individual_526 Avatar

    Girl I’m 174lbs and I would have eaten more than that 😆 tell them to kiss yo ass

  24. Mom_81 Avatar

    I am so sorry!! She was 100% out of line and you are NTA.  What you had sounds like something I would eat and I’m under the 200lb mark.  Heck my 12 would have eaten more and she is 120 (5’6). People need to mind their own business and not comment on people’s food unless it is actually helpful ex you know a friend is diabetic and low but they don’t have a snack so you offer them something.  Or you tell your (not someone elses only your or the child you are in charge of)child to pick a fruit or veggie for a snack when the are still hungry after chips.  

    People commenting on others eating habits when not asked to help are always the AH. 

    Congratulations on making better choices for you and seeing the results you are working towards!  You are amazing.  I hope you see this.  And I hope that your husband and others involved in your journey are supportive and wonderful cheerleaders for you.  

  25. Unique_Ad_3312 Avatar

    NTA. It’s never ok to comment on someones food or body, it’s no one else’s business.

  26. Amonette2012 Avatar

    NTA, she was mean.

  27. Pr1nc3ssButtercup Avatar

    NTA. That guest deserves a pile of beans to the face. She is rude AF. What other people eat is. One of her business (or mine), but what is more, she was being catty and mean on purpose. It probably sucks to be her.

  28. Mundane-Run6179 Avatar

    NTA. It’s nobody else’s business what you eat or how you go about your weight loss. She started it being rude and commenting about it in a bad faith, snarky manner

  29. Cass_Q Avatar

    NTA. Policing someone’s else’s food is never okay.

  30. Weesa729 Avatar

    NTA, next time someone has the audacity to comment on your body, stop, look them dead in the eyes and say “How exactly does this concern you, or affect your life that you feel you have the right to comment on someone else’s body?”. Then wait, silently for a response while still looking them in the eye. No one, I repeat, NO ONE has the RIGHT to comment on anyone’s body. Make them ashamed of their blunder. Make the request and say NOTHING. Say it LOUDLY so everyone hears. Publicly make them explain their audacity. Girl, you are doing just fine. No one’s journey is the same and no one should ever make this kind of comment about anyone’s body, ever.

  31. spinachmuncher Avatar

    Stop replaying. Im proud of you.
    Shes not a friend. Her opinion counts for Jack shit.

  32. Garden-Fairy-23 Avatar

    Absolutely NTA!!!

    As someone who has also struggled with her weight/ relationship with food and was heavily bullied for it as an adolescent, I do understand some of what you’re going through (although, I realize every situation is different). First and foremost, hear me when I say that what you are doing is an incredibly difficult thing, and you have more than every right to be excited and PROUD of your progress!!! Please, please don’t feel that your accomplishments are diminished because someone had a nasty attitude.

    That being said, she absolutely had no right to make any comments about what you were eating and your weight loss – she knew exactly what she was doing and the effect that it would have. You had every right to react the way that you did and call her out for it (in a very calm way, if I might add). It’s so hard to push back against people like that, but it is so worth it – I’m sure she was embarrassed to be called out, which I hope will make her pause before saying something in the future.

  33. max-in-the-house Avatar

    Geez you ate the same 4th of July junk that we all ate. NTA that person DOES need to mind their own business.

  34. BertieMcK Avatar

    NTA, that is unacceptable behavior for this “friend.” I have one rule in my house: I dont talk about weight, and everyone’s bodies are beautiful. It took me years to get to this point to accept who I am and how my body looks.

    As a society, we are too open to point out others’ perceived imperfections when we dont feel great about ourselves. This had very little to nothing to do about you and more to do about her.

  35. the_perfect_spatula Avatar

    She was totally judgemental and you were right to be upset.

    Congratulations on your hard work!

  36. unjustified_earwax Avatar

    NTA
    Tbh I wouldn’t blame you fkr avoiding social events with them. At least remove ger from your facebook or limit what she can see in your facebook while remaining friends.

    People judge others all the time but more in a passing way, like one thought in & the other out. She & her husband are just snarky people.

  37. paisley_life Avatar

    Why anyone feels like they get to make a comment about anyone’s appearance and what they’re eating is beyond me. What absolute entitlement. NTA.

  38. Immediate_Shock_1225 Avatar

    NTA. Great response. #1 rule – you don’t comment on other ppls bodies or what they eat.

  39. Creepy_Animal_1226 Avatar

    NTA you were nicer than I would have been.

    Btw, great job on the progress!!

  40. Ca-arnish Avatar

    NTA. She should know better than to comment on other’s eating habits. I would reccomend that you don’t post on socials about your health stuff though, it makes people weird and competitive

  41. vtretiree23 Avatar

    NTA And congratulations on your success and journey.

  42. Flop_total Avatar

    Ew, wtf, that wife’s behavior is disgusting. I felt physically repulsed as I was reading your post. I can’t even imagine what you must’ve felt like. Shame on her. You did good in telling her to mind her business, because she needs a reality check and to deal with her own issues that she’s clearly projecting on you

    Congrats on the weight loss, good luck on your journey

    (Obviously NTA)

  43. labtech89 Avatar

    NTA. It has been proven that diets which restrict food intake or certain foods don’t work. Dealing with one’s relationship with food, exercise and eating healthy are the things that work long term. Cheat days are also okay as long as one doesn’t get sidetracked.

  44. mermaidsgrave86 Avatar

    [ Removed by Reddit ]

  45. julesk Avatar

    NTA, you handled it well! It’s no one’s business but yours and you need to do this your way.

  46. mydogsanausshole Avatar

    NTA. When people make food comments I channel what I’ve learned from Shana Minei Spence (registered dietitian who is fabulous and wrote a great book called Live Nourished) and say things like, “food doesn’t have morality” and “all food has purpose” and “convenient food is accessible food.” The person you had to interact with made comments about you that were inappropriate and uncalled for on so many levels. Good job standing up for yourself and I’m sorry you had to do that in your own home! They are NOT invited over for any future BBQs or food oriented things.

  47. SpanishPen1 Avatar

    NTA, stay your course! It hurts, massively, when people act this way. Know that it is a reflection of their own insecurities.

  48. Tikala Avatar

    NTA
    Her comments were absolutely uncalled for and super rude. You were in no way out of line.

  49. whatsupwillow Avatar

    NTA. Good for you for making changes AND standing up to a food bully. I have been up and down my whole life. It is absolutely no one’s business but yours what you are eating. BESIDES THAT, cheat days exist and should also go un-judged.

  50. -p-q- Avatar

    “I think you should leave now”

  51. SuperPookypower Avatar

    Commenting on someone else’s plate is never appropriate. Brushing her off was warranted. NTA

  52. Pyewacket62 Avatar

    NTA

    You’re going about your weightloss SMARTLY! You’re addressing the issues and dealing with them in a healthy way!

    You should be commended, not criticized!

    Your “friend” can kick rocks. Jealously doesn’t look good on anyone.

  53. Lonely_Midnight781 Avatar

    NTA

    I have spent most of my life gaining/losing weight and for a while worked for a large weight loss programme helping people lose weight.

    Weight and weight loss can bring out the worst in people, and it’s a constant challenge/mindf**k.

    I’ve felt most of my life that society treats being overweight as if it is a moral failing, and I’ve spent a lot of my life believing that.

    I recently had 3 months when, for an unknown reason (doctor couldn’t work it out) I wasn’t hungry much – and I easily lost weight. It made me reflect that perhaps I don’t have less self control than others, I just have more hunger (true or not, it’s helped me to not feel like a failure).

    I’ve also noticed that there will always be people judging, and it’s always to do with their own insecurities or things they fixate on. So instead, of feeling judged, I just feel sorry for them.

    You’re fit and skinny, but so insecure in yourself that you out all this energy into judging others? I pity you that you can’t enjoy your own life

    You have a nice home but feel personally aggrieved that some has a messy living room? Wouldn’t want to be you!

    You have new stuff and judge others for having old/mismatched things? I’d rather enjoy my life than constantly compared myself.

    There will always be people judging you for what matters to them. It’s really hard to ignore when they are so outrageously rude to your face – and it would affect anyone. Maybe think of some clapbacks and have them ready if something like that happens again.

    Also, I’m careful about not posting about weight stuff – especially online. It really brings out the trolls and for some reason, people feel like your weight is their business – it’s not. I just share small things to a few people privately if I want to celebrate myself, or to a group that I know is supportive friends.

    You’ve got this, you’re awesome, and it’s going the right direction – slow small changes and not overly restricting yourself is 100% the way to go!

  54. wackylemonhello Avatar

    NTA – that woman is so out of line! Congrats on the weight loss and more importantly, on changing bad habits. Both are incredibly difficult.

  55. skullsnroses66 Avatar

    NTA she was out of line and was definitely judging you and you had every right to stand up for yourself.

  56. Fun-Yellow-6576 Avatar

    NTA she is though and you were right to say it’s none of her business.

    Congratulations on your journey to have healthy eating habits, 54lbs down is fantastic.

    I will admit, I read what you ate and I immediately thought “ she’s having a cheat day because that’s a lot of food” and realized I don’t even know you and judged you. So please forgive me.

    I wish you all the success in meeting your health goals and dealing with your food issues. I hope you update us again in a few months to let us know how you’re doing.

  57. Ich_bin_keine_Banane Avatar

    My initial thought is that she is insanely jealous. She saw OP’s post saying “54lbs down” and then saw OP eating normally and got all bent out of shape. For that amount of weight loss success she wanted to see OP sipping a glass of water staring longingly at the food. She sounds just idiotically shallow and superficial, with outdated views on what healthy eating or a healthy lifestyle actually is.

    OP, first step: get her off her your socials and put your settings to „friends only,“ so she can’t see your information via mutuals. You don’t need that kind of negativity bringing you down.

  58. spids69 Avatar

    NTA even remotely. It was none of her business, she knew that, she chose to be intentionally hurtful to someone who shared a moment of vulnerability, and then tried to play the victim when there was the slightest pushback. She has no interest in your success or wellbeing, and is attempting to pull you back down like a crab in a bucket. She wouldn’t be welcome in my home or life after that, and neither would anyone who came to her defense.

  59. One-Strain3179 Avatar

    NTA your response was quite polite considering her snarky comments. She’s 100% TA and should mind her own business.

  60. Gold-Carpenter7616 Avatar

    NTA

    I had weight loss surgery this year. I get it. I really do. Have to work with a nutritionist and all, work on my relationship to food.

    While my issues are different from yours, I can see what you describe. She wanted to shame you for your food choices. That’s just no bueno. It’s entirely your thing what you put into your mouth, and honestly, at a party you can sometimes eat a bit more, as long as you don’t party daily!

    Special occasions aren’t our issue when we’re so overweight. Every day decisions are the problem.

    Wish you the very best! And: 31kg down since the beginning of the year!

  61. Eastern-Listen5759 Avatar

    I’m sorry you don’t approve of what I eat. I’ll check with you next time. Thanks so much for your concern. I’m gonna get some more brownies if that’s ok with you.

  62. Banzai373 Avatar

    Not the ass. She should stay in her lane. Congratulations on your success on your journey.

  63. Bringmethe_ramen11 Avatar

    NTA that lady can fuck off. You’re doing awesome and managing weight in a healthy way by figuring out your relationship with food and how to manage it. Diet culture is toxic.

  64. 2_old_for_this_spit Avatar

    NTA

    Congratulations! Your efforts are paying off. You seem to have developed a healthy view of food. There’s nothing wrong with what you ate as long as you balance it out at other meals; successful dieting involves knowing how to handle real food in real-life situations. Too bad your “friend” doesn’t understand that. Good for you on standing up for yourself, too.

  65. No_Lavishness_3957 Avatar

    The next time anyone comments on what you’re eating or your body say; “I’m sorry, I don’t understand? Are you hitting on me? You know I’m married, right?” If they scoff & make a comment that you’re not their type, then ask, “Then why do you care about my body or what I eat? It just looks like you’re either jealous of my weight loss or hitting on me.” Say it loud enough for everyone to hear.

  66. 2McDoty Avatar

    NTA, and as soon as HER husband said, “that was uncalled for.” Your husband should have said, “No, your wife’s words were uncalled for.” But I’m assuming your husband did the exact opposite and is trying to make you feel like the villain to his friends, or you probably wouldn’t be here questioning yourself.

    Congratulations on the weightloss. And yes, baby steps, making little changes (that you can maintain for the rest of your life) are the best and healthiest way to do it. Is what you ate something that most people would eat on a normal day for a normal meal? No, obviously, but it wasn’t a normal day, and your “normal” meal: it was a holiday BBQ, there is nothing wrong with living life and celebrating, even when you are healthy or trying to be, trying to be healthier or lose weight does not mean that you have to make yourself suffer all of the time to do it… and it was most likely an improvement on your old habits anyway, so her comments were not only rude, but just wrong on multiple levels.

    Your husband should have defended you, I hope he did, and you just haven’t included that part in the story.

    edited to Add: Also, remove him and her from your FB and social media. Block them even. If they have a problem with it. Your husband can simply tell them that their previous behavior regarding your social media posts gives an obvious reason why they will not be allowed to view your profile anymore.

  67. slp1965 Avatar

    Congrats to you!!!!!

  68. reallybirdysomedays Avatar

    So here’s the truth that your therapist didnt tell you. Yes, some people do judge. Those people are assholes and their opinion doesn’t matter.

  69. letuswatchtvinpeace Avatar

    Off topic

    But how did you find the right therapist? I can’t figure out what to look for in one so I just give up.

  70. Dangerous-Variety-35 Avatar

    NTA, at all. Your therapist is right that normal, kind people aren’t judging you or thinking about you half as much as you may think they are. Unfortunately, there’s rude assholes everywhere who are judging others every chance they get, but that’s because they’re jerks who need to put people down in order to feel better about themselves. You don’t need to concern yourself with people like that though, because who cares what judgmental jerks think?

    You keep your the work you’re doing to be mentally and physically healthy, and ignore anyone who tries to get in the way of that ❤️

  71. SEK2208 Avatar

    She had the audacity to say these things aloud? In your home? I’d have told her and her husband to get off my property and never come back.

    NTA.

  72. lisavieta Avatar

    NTA

    She was WAY out of line and you were more polite than she deserved.

    Please block her on social media and be done with it.

  73. Akasgotu Avatar

    NTA. The guest who is judgmental and demeaning is always the asshole.

  74. Taisiecat Avatar

    NTA – I think you were remarkably polite. And congratulations on your weight loss!

  75. Novel_Fox Avatar

    NTA that lady was rude as hell. 

  76. greyskiesev89 Avatar

    NTA; she was being judgemental. Why? Because she was seeing you winning & being happy, enjoying yourself, and decided because SHE is miserable with her own life that she needed to tear you down so that you feel the same or worse than her.

    Please OP, know that you are doing AMAZING! Over 50lbs?! Just by habit alone?? That is so incredible! Because in the end, fad diets never work and changing the diet doesn’t work unless your relationship with food and exercise is already healthy. 

    And people like her all about restriction when it comes to pleasures in life, especially food, but that sets you up to fail. She’s probably not getting any from the husband 😝 

  77. Independent-Sir7516 Avatar

    NTA at all. She is definitely not your friend, and I think your responses were completely appropriate. She on the other hand was very inappropriate and can’t read the room. 1) she should have never made the first snarky comment at all, and 2) she has a very limited idea of healthy eating and as you say was very judgmental, both inappropriately and incorrectly.

    There was nothing wrong with what you ate, and it was none of her business. Even if you were “dieting”, diets come in all shapes and sizes, and a lot of people factor in cheat days.

    The fact that your hubby already isn’t a big fan of hers, indicates that she has other bad qualities as well. She’s not worth your time. Sounds like a bitter human being that wanted a chance to put another woman down to make herself feel superior. She’ll bury herself one day in all her own bullshit.

    Also, congratulations on all the progress you’ve made! A lot of people are going to have a lot of different opinions about it, but what is most important is how you feel, and looking out for yourself. I’m glad that your husband agrees with you and I hope that he’ll have your back if it ever escalates with her and her husband. If she’s that nasty of a person, she will likely eventually destroy the friendship between your husband and hers.

    But enough about her! You’re amazing and keep up the great work addressing your issues. The weight loss is just one benefit. I hope your happiness and wellbeing grow more and more every day.

  78. SoonerRed Avatar

    Nta

    She is though

    She had no call at all to comment on what you were eating, your diet, your body, or any of it.

    I’m thrilled your husband is on your side, for whatever reason. You deserve that.

    Ignore her. She’s bitter and hateful and you don’t need that energy in your life.

  79. butybrainbrawn Avatar

    This internet stranger is proud of what you have accomplished. Keep it up.

  80. talking-tired Avatar

    Would have told her to get TF out of my house..blocked them all on FB and told anybody who had a problem with it to kiss your slimming ass.

    Bragging… who does she think she is..

  81. cori_2626 Avatar

    She’s TA but all of us really need to remember and take to heart that when something is no one else’s business, posting about it on social media then makes it everyone’s business who can see the post. If you really feel like it’s something you’re doing for you yourself alone, then you shouldn’t be posting details like that, because it invites commentary. That’s the point of social media. 

    You can celebrate wins on your own or within your family instead, where they won’t turn sour like this. 

  82. ApprehensiveBook4214 Avatar

    NTA.  She’s the reason a lot of people losing weight don’t tell anyone.  Because she somehow thinks losing weight means judgement on your body and food choices are now ok.  They’re not.  Congrats on losing 54 pounds! 

  83. mmarmarbinks Avatar

    nta. 1. congrats on losing that much weight! it’s rlly hard losing weight and im v proud! 2. you’re wayyyyyy nicer than i would’ve been if that says anything at all. you took the high road saying it’s not her business!

  84. who_can_ Avatar

    NTA of course.

    She was just being judgmental, as in actively looking for things she could judge which isn’t the same as you being judged. She picked that topic because she was trying to be mean after your post on Fbook, not because what you were eating warrants any judgment or even notice.

    Carry on the excellent work, I genuinely believe you are approaching it in just the right way and you will be able to make lasting change by addressing the issues and habits before anything else. Don’t let someone just out for a fight have any impact on your journey.

  85. VStarRoman Avatar

    NTA. The other woman is. In some weight loss groups, people are encouraged to keep other people on track/accountable. The thing is, she cannot assign herself this task unsolicited and not be seen as an AH.

    As long as you’re losing weight in a healthy way, she needs to keep her nosy self out of your business. Her husband needs to not defend a bully.

  86. ConsiderationFew7599 Avatar

    NTA Congratulations on your weight loss. How you go about it is entirely up to you. Random people offering opinions on your personal choices is never ok. As someone who is on her own journey, I get it. Between therapy and a dietician and now adding a Semaglutide medication, I’m on the right track. I’m eating better, exercising, and feeling better about myself, and the weight is slowly coming down. I discovered my thyroid was part of the issue. It is/was low and is being treated. So, I had other obstacles to weight loss I was fighting in addition to food issues and I didn’t even know about it. So, if someone had made those same comments to me, I might not have handled it as nicely as you did. If your interaction is just as you described, you handled it perfectly. She was more rude than you were and you were simply standing up for yourself. Kudos to your husband for letting you take care of it yourself while still supporting you.

  87. kayleitha77 Avatar

    NTA. That couple, though…. 100%. You’re completely correct.

    There’s probably a reason your husband already doesn’t like her: her behavior is consistent with her personality in general–churlish, rude, entitled, judgmental, and generally unpleasant. He’s backing you up because you are right, and because he knows what she’s like.

    Take this situation to your therapist, and work through it together. Honestly, you did great! You stood your ground and pushed back against a jerky person on a subject that is really difficult. You need to reflect how well you did there! And as for your feelings: that’s why you’re doing the hard work, because of those feelings. All that internalized shame is telling you she’s right, when she’s not. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about, she should have STFU to begin with, and you made her do so in the end. Victories like that are hard when you’re used to being the person who’s wrong.

    To reiterate: NTA! 🙂

  88. furkfurk Avatar

    I think your therapist and everyone else would agree that this woman was in fact being extremely rude and judgmental.

    Your body, your health, what you eat, how you interact with the world: all absolutely none of her business. Congrats on the lifestyle change, you are allowed to be proud. NTA.

  89. Nervous_Insurance_41 Avatar

    NTA i would hope they aren’t invited back in the future. What a wild interaction to have at a function you hosted …