Hello all, throwaway because my main account is too revealing for this lol, I F26 recently had my birthday, A friend of mine M28 I’ll call Jack sent me a text saying (Copy+Paste) “Hey! It may come late but I ordered you something from Amazon as a bday gift I hope you like them!”. I thought this was super sweet at first and gave him a thank you and we continued talking as normal. Today I get home from work and I see the package, I open it and it’s THONGS. I have absolutely zero idea how to respond to this, and at first I thought that maybe it was the wrong order but NOPE, there is a little gift note in the package that says “I hope they fit nicely 🙂 -Jack”. 1) Jack knows I have a Boyfriend and did this 2) I see this as ridiculously creepy and I can’t even wrap my head around how this could be a misinterpretation of a kind gesture.
I blocked Jack on all social media and his number after this and I even sent him a message saying “Hey I don’t think I’m comfortable communicating with you anymore, sorry”. Now the part that I feel may make me the AH is I ended up telling Jacks girlfriend (We’re mutual acquaintances and have spoken a couple times so I have her socials) and she flipped the F out, she profusely thanked me for telling her and that was that. I feel like I’m going nuts with this and I can’t understand why it’s eating at me AITA?? I feel like there’s no way to see this as a “gift” rather an invitation to show him the underwear being worn, am I crazy??
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Hello all, throwaway because my main account is too revealing for this lol, I F26 recently had my birthday, A friend of mine M28 I’ll call Jack sent me a text saying (Copy+Paste) “Hey! It may come late but I ordered you something from Amazon as a bday gift I hope you like them!”. I thought this was super sweet at first and gave him a thank you and we continued talking as normal. Today I get home from work and I see the package, I open it and it’s THONGS. I have absolutely zero idea how to respond to this, and at first I thought that maybe it was the wrong order but NOPE, there is a little gift note in the package that says “I hope they fit nicely 🙂 -Jack”. 1) Jack knows I have a Boyfriend and did this 2) I see this as ridiculously creepy and I can’t even wrap my head around how this could be a misinterpretation of a kind gesture.
I blocked Jack on all social media and his number after this and I even sent him a message saying “Hey I don’t think I’m comfortable communicating with you anymore, sorry”. Now the part that I feel may make me the AH is I ended up telling Jacks girlfriend (We’re mutual acquaintances and have spoken a couple times so I have her socials) and she flipped the F out, she profusely thanked me for telling her and that was that. I feel like I’m going nuts with this and I can’t understand why it’s eating at me AITA?? I feel like there’s no way to see this as a “gift” rather an invitation to show him the underwear being worn, am I crazy??
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my friends girlfriend he was hitting on me, I feel this may make me the AH because Jack may have meant it as an actual gift
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. If my boyfriend pulled some stunt like this I’d like to know as soon as possible.
NTA, she deserves to know he’s sending other women thongs. if he “really meant it as a gift” as you speculate, someone needs to set him straight and she is very well positioned to do that.
it was creepy, and it was not what i would call “faithful”.
Jack is a fkn disgusting creep, and honestly, you’re a hero and not an AH for telling his girlfriend.
NTA you aren’t crazy.
NTA!!!! NTA!!!!
Who does this? Who thinks it’s okay to do this?
I mean, I wouldn’t be okay with him sending you ANY kind of underwear, let alone thongs. This is absolutely bizarre.
NTA
NTA. You’re not crazy either. That “gift” was completely inappropriate, and if Jack doesn’t realize that by now, he’s living under a rock.
NTA. Jack is an idiot.
INFO: Did you bring it out to him before nuking his relationship? What was your standing with this friend prior to the gift?
>my main account is too revealing
This makes me think you do some sort of spicy content. If so:
Does he know? Are you two on some sort of acknowledgement on it?
Would it be too far fetched to guess he made the gift so you could have more “outfits” to wear for content?
I get being creeped out if it was an out-of-the-blue gift from the opposite sex, but I get the feeling there may be a bit of context to the side that might explain things. Still, unless bot of you shared it and were on the same page (assuming you do some sort of sex work), it is pretty weird and could be a boundary breach.
Happy birthday!
INFO: You mean “thongs” as in undies, or G-strings? not the shoes?
I assume that’s the case, but it’s a regional thing. Australian here, if they’re thongs as in the shoes that’d be a welcome gift, cuz it’s always good to have a few extra pairs.
I think you’d need a pretty crazy reason for giving someone underwear if you weren’t looking for sex. Like, unless you’re leaving out the part where he’s a lingerie designer giving you free samples, or it was just an odd way to proposition you for a threesome she’d agree to. That all seems very unlikely.
If you’re feeling bad at all I have a similar story. You can’t feel bad at all because us girls gotta protect our girls you know?
Y’all got some wild definitions of what “friends” mean. In Australia buying thongs for a mate, is not remotely a weird thing, All true Australian own many a thong. Jokes aside how close of a friend could he be? why you refer to him as one? Yeah buying a mate underwear without context and warning is certainly creepy, yeah it likely not a mistake, there next to no valid reasons to defend and/or excuse his gift choice but what is also an odd choice is if he is a mate why you wouldn’t call him out on and at-least see what he has to say like “Uh What the hell mate!? what the fuck is up with this!?” if not for the sake of the friendship but for the sake of curiosity?
Hell I am Curious, based on what you said I’m guessing your other reddit account is NSFW which mean does he know it not NSFW? have you and him ever had a NSFW interaction in the past? you aren’t dumb were you aware if he had NSFW feeling for you just weirded out that he finally acted on it? or was this a complete surprise? I feel like there so much more information that could have been given and gotten before acting. Which is why I think it is a little on the nose to go running straight to his GF you barely know about it. Again if not for the sake of your friendship, for her sake? Maybe if you had delved deeper into his reasoning you could have got a confession out of him and passed it on, as it stands there are ways for him to play off this creepy behavior with her and get away with it.
I guess my point is, yeah it weird. I just also think it weird any one would call such a person a friend and if they were wouldn’t they actually stop and take a second to investigate more before reacting and snitching on him? I’m not saying he didn’t deserve the snitching just you know there 0 chill in this story, it starts off escalated and creepy and then escalates further into “fuck you mother fucker imma ruin your relationship and never talk to you again”.
Let’s take a moment and really give him the benefit of the doubt: let’s say that he genuinely didn’t mean anything by the gift, it’s a type of inside joke that is common in his group, he thought you would find it hilarious, and he just wildly misjudged the situation.
Even in that case, NTA.
See, in that case, telling his girlfriend would be a complete non-issue: she wouldn’t be shocked or upset, she could reassure you that it wasn’t intended to harm you, she’d be able to tell you all about the inside joke (and maybe even reveal that she was the one who picked the stuff out), and she could apologize for the unfortunate impact the misplaced gesture had on you
Which BTW is the non-AH-ish way to respond when a joke/prank doesn’t land as intended… Not blaming the victim for not having a sense of humor, not using the gross excuse “it’s just a joke,” but a sincere, “I’m so sorry, I meant it in good fun and I never would have done it if I thought it would upset you.”