Okay so throwaway because my gf uses Reddit and I don’t need her to know I hate her mom yet.
So I 19meters (lol) have a gf 19f. She’s the kindest sweetest person in the world, like genuinely.
My problem is my gfs mother. She’s a horrible old lady and I hate her with every fibre of my being. She’s so mean to my gf no matter how much she does for her mom. Like yesterday my gf was sick and I went to go see her. She’s got her periods and the flu so like it’s a war zone. She’s throwing up, can barely walk and crying 24/7. I spend most of the day with her since I work night shift and she had sick leave.
And the whole reason she’s sick is because of her brothers. Her mom literally rubbed her brothers, made them soup and coddled them the whole time they were sick but she gave not one single fuck today. My gf was throwing up the whole day, not once did she ask if she was okay or if she needed anything. She acted like it was an inconvenience and my poor baby was crying. How can you treat your own daughter like this?
Here’s where I may be the ah. As I was leaving, my gf was asleep in her room and her mom was downstairs coddling her little brother. I stopped and I asked her to just check on my gf through the night to make sure she’s okay and she gave me such a dirty look and like it genuinely pissed me off. I told her ‘she’s a horrible mother who for some reason hates the child who does the most for her and treats her lazy unhelpful sons like the sun shines out of their asses’ and then left. My gf hasn’t messaged me yet to berate me so maybe that’s good but am I the ahole?
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Okay so throwaway because my gf uses Reddit and I don’t need her to know I hate her mom yet.
So I 19meters (lol) have a gf 19f. She’s the kindest sweetest person in the world, like genuinely.
My problem is my gfs mother. She’s a horrible old lady and I hate her with every fibre of my being. She’s so mean to my gf no matter how much she does for her mom. Like yesterday my gf was sick and I went to go see her. She’s got her periods and the flu so like it’s a war zone. She’s throwing up, can barely walk and crying 24/7. I spend most of the day with her since I work night shift and she had sick leave.
And the whole reason she’s sick is because of her brothers. Her mom literally rubbed her brothers, made them soup and coddled them the whole time they were sick but she gave not one single fuck today. My gf was throwing up the whole day, not once did she ask if she was okay or if she needed anything. She acted like it was an inconvenience and my poor baby was crying. How can you treat your own daughter like this?
Here’s where I may be the ah. As I was leaving, my gf was asleep in her room and her mom was downstairs coddling her little brother. I stopped and I asked her to just check on my gf through the night to make sure she’s okay and she gave me such a dirty look and like it genuinely pissed me off. I told her ‘she’s a horrible mother who for some reason hates the child who does the most for her and treats her lazy unhelpful sons like the sun shines out of their asses’ and then left. My gf hasn’t messaged me yet to berate me so maybe that’s good but am I the ahole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be the ah for calling my gfs mother horrible for not caring abt her daughter when she’s sick.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
If half of what you posted is true, then you’ve just managed to make your girlfriend’s life even worse because her mom will take it out on her. YTA, congratulations.
INFO
> I asked her to just check on my gf through the night to make sure she’s okay
Okay in what way? What in the world would happen to her while sleeping?
If you’re so concerned, why aren’t you taking care of her at your apartment?
You can’t fix your gf problems. Both of you are still very young and should focus on yourselves.
Not the asshole in my opinion. The mother sounds terrible.
YTA. You overstepped, and I don’t know why you think you get to tell her mother what to do. I’d give that same look to someone who came into my house and tried to instruct me. It’s hard to judge her mother because you obviously are biased again her.
Betting mom was insulted you were telling her how to manage her house or what to do so of course she gave you a look. You definitely just poured gas on a fire that didn’t need it.
ESH (except gf)
I 100% understand your anger and why you did it. Her mother sounds horrible. But abusive parents like this are rarely able to recognize that they’re doing something wrong, their heads are really far up their asses, and instead she will probably act like a victim, and as was pointed out already, take it out on your girlfriend.
The mother is obviously the biggest AH though, and so is the brother (depending on his age) for not calling out his mother’s behavior.
YTA life lesson, don’t talk shit to people’s abusers. You know what happens? The abuser takes it out on the victim
You mean well but you probably just made shit harder for your girlfriend.
YTA. One, “the whole reason she’s sick is because of her brothers” makes no sense, unless her brothers gave her terrible period cramps; it’s possible she got the flu from them but you can’t really prove which exposure to an airborne disease is the one that made you sick. Two, without saying the ages of the brothers, you’ve said a lot. At least one of them is younger, and your gf is an adult. Maybe they were sicker than their sister. Worst of all, three, you just set off a bomb in that house, and the mother surely hates you now. And your sick gf gets to wake up to find out what you’ve done and get berated again by her mother.
Sure ya did…
NTA
“Okay so throwaway because my gf uses Reddit and I don’t need her to know I hate her mom yet.”
OP’s GF: Oh, look a AITA post. Hm, OP’s GF was sick yesterday, just like me. And OP has night shift, just like my BF. Oh, she has brothers who get spoiled. Look at that coincidence!
A few things here-
Sobbing all day because of having the flu on your period is a bit dramatic
Why would the mother be checking on her if you were there attending to her daughter all day? She may have thought it was awkward that you were there to nurse ‘your baby’ back to health and wanted to stay well away (I would have)
You giving care instructions to her mother is completely inappropriate
You really overstepped, and I’ll be surprised if you are welcome there again
Yeah, maybe don’t make your gf’s life at home worse to feed your justice boner.
Tell your gf to ask her doctor about endometriosis.
NTA everyone needs a reality check and I am also a mother. I bet most people saying you are the AH are moms who act similarly
ESH
NTA but your girlfriend’s mother may be even nastier and try to sabotage your relationship. Make sure you tell your girlfriend, as you don’t know what the fall out might be.
NTA but your girlfriend’s mother may be even nastier and try to sabotage your relationship. Make sure you tell your girlfriend, as you don’t know what the fall out might be.
YTA
If you said that to me, you wouldn’t be coming back to my house.
Even if everything you wrote is true, and this woman does have a target child, then you just gave her MORE ammunition to use against the daughter. “How dare he embarrass me like that in MY HOME?” ” What are you telling him?”
Is it possible Mom was taking care of the boys because you were taking point on girlfriend? It’s really hard when everyone in the household is sick.
I can’t tell, obvs, from what you wrote, whether Mom is the cretin you describe. They DEFINITELY exist. But your misplaced “rawr imma defend my sweet lady” energy either made it worse for your GF or wrongfully targeted an exhausted woman who is already under the gun.
How old are the brothers?
As annoying as it is you have to stay out of your relationships family dynamics unless your a permanent member