My husband and I have been married for going on 11 years. Been together 13 years in total. Over the last 4.5 years we have really struggled with intimacy. More so on his end. He has given multiple excuses. He’s too tired, too stressed from work, feeling insecure about himself.
I’ve tried discussing it with him. I’ve been constantly shut down and my feelings dismissed. Told that marriage isn’t all about sex. Obviously I know that. But he treats me like I’m a sex crazed maniac. I’m asking for the bare minimum-occasional sex. As time has went on we have had sex less and less. As present, it’s been about a year and a half. We are in our early 30s.
Over the last two years, it has really taken a toll on my metal health. I feel so rejected and bad about myself. I used to feel sexy and confident. But I’ve really lost that. A few days ago, I was coming out of the bathroom undressed and didn’t expect to cross paths with him. I scurried away and made the remark that I didn’t want to see me naked. He was very upset by my comment.
More than I thought he would be. I truly feel like he isn’t interested in me anymore. So what right does he have to see me without clothes? That led into an argument. We don’t have children, but would like to have one. In the last year that topic has been brought up and we are on the same page about wanting a child.
During our argument I made a remark that in order to have a child a couple needs to have sex. He said “of course, if we were getting really serious about a child, then we would have sex.” That deeply hurt me. It gives the implication that he would do it for a child, but for no other reason. He tried to back track and say that’s not what he meant. But it was. We aren’t on speaking terms. I honestly don’t even want to be around him.