AITA for telling my husband to stophanging out with his specific friend?
Hers is some backstory: May husband has this friend, lets call him ‘David’.. so now one day this david came to our house, he looks like a decent man who like to take care of himself. Well, i cooked for all of us and we ate and it was that.
Then next day he texted me on my whatsapp (i am totally unaware of how he got my number) and complimented my cooking, and i thanked him, that ended there.
Almost after 2 days he texted again and told me that he is unable to keep me out of his head because of the way i talked and dressed. I told him not to text me again and i blocked him.
Then again almost after a week i got a message on snapchat and i was shocked to find out that it was David who’ve sent me his nude pics and i immediately blocked him from there too and so i told everything to my husband.
First i thought my husband will get mad at me but as he didn’t responded much, i thought he’ll talk to David and the friendship will end.
But to my shock the next thing i knew that David guy is going to come back for food at my house, my husband stating that he doesn’t gets a proper meal as he lives alone and all. I protested and all but i got totally ignored.
Second time at our place when my kids greeted him he playfully twisted my son’s arm and i didn’t liked it at all, so i pulled my son and asked him to go in another room. While i was with my son, checking his arm, my 4 year old daughter was in another room with my husband and i wasn’t ready what i saw when i went in that room. He picked up my 4-year-old daughter and puts her on his lap and so I snatched her away immediately. And when my husband wasn’t around, this creep tried to hug me forcefully but i put him in his place.
After he left I straight up told my husband that David guy is never coming here again. If he does, I’m leaving with the kids. So my husband stopped inviting him thankfully.
But here’s a thing that is hard for me to wrap my head around. My husband STILL goes over to David’s place every month or two. (Mind you, David now have a girlfriend, and his girlfriend is at really good terms with my husband).
Me and the kids try to stop him from going to David’s place. As my kids ask my husband to spend more time with them instead of going to David’s place but i guess none of it really matters to my husband.. 🤷🏻♀️
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AITA for telling my husband to stophanging out with his specific friend?
Hers is some backstory: May husband has this friend, lets call him ‘David’.. so now one day this david came to our house, he looks like a decent man who like to take care of himself. Well, i cooked for all of us and we ate and it was that.
Then next day he texted me on my whatsapp (i am totally unaware of how he got my number) and complimented my cooking, and i thanked him, that ended there.
Almost after 2 days he texted again and told me that he is unable to keep me out of his head because of the way i talked and dressed. I told him not to text me again and i blocked him.
Then again almost after a week i got a message on snapchat and i was shocked to find out that it was David who’ve sent me his nude pics and i immediately blocked him from there too and so i told everything to my husband.
First i thought my husband will get mad at me but as he didn’t responded much, i thought he’ll talk to David and the friendship will end.
But to my shock the next thing i knew that David guy is going to come back for food at my house, my husband stating that he doesn’t gets a proper meal as he lives alone and all. I protested and all but i got totally ignored.
Second time at our place when my kids greeted him he playfully twisted my son’s arm and i didn’t liked it at all, so i pulled my son and asked him to go in another room. While i was with my son, checking his arm, my 4 year old daughter was in another room with my husband and i wasn’t ready what i saw when i went in that room. He picked up my 4-year-old daughter and puts her on his lap and so I snatched her away immediately. And when my husband wasn’t around, this creep tried to hug me forcefully but i put him in his place.
After he left I straight up told my husband that David guy is never coming here again. If he does, I’m leaving with the kids. So my husband stopped inviting him thankfully.
But here’s a thing that is hard for me to wrap my head around. My husband STILL goes over to David’s place every month or two. (Mind you, David now have a girlfriend, and his girlfriend is at really good terms with my husband).
Me and the kids try to stop him from going to David’s place. As my kids ask my husband to spend more time with them instead of going to David’s place but i guess none of it really matters to my husband.. 🤷🏻♀️
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I stopped my husband from meeting a person my husband calls his friend.
2. Maybe i am at the wrong and my husband is at the right to ignore the fact that his friend harrases me. 🤷🏻♀️
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA but boy is your husband one. David hits on you and sends you unsolicited nude photos and your husband knows this AND STILL invites him over? AND STILL is friends with him? You have a husband problem. This is not reasonable or normal.
NTA! You also have a husband problem! Your husband put you in a dangerous situation by inviting David back over AGAIN and made excuses for him. He knew David sent you unwanted explicit pictures and your husband still invited him over for dinner. I would highly encourage you to get yourself into counseling, you deserve way better than this.
NTA. Good on you for being proactive in protecting yourself, your marriage, and the kids. Your husband’s dismissal of your protests are alarming. Hope y’all can figure it out.
You are absolutely NTA.
If your husband won’t break off his relationship with a person who hit on you and sent you nude pics, I think you have to consider that there may other things going on outside your knowledge.
It would be completely reasonable to ask your husband why he continues to have a relationship with this person.
NTA. You are protecting your family and being a good wife and mother. He needs to know the love of Christ and change his heart to want to protect you and the children. I would be very mad if this was my family.
NTA. It’s bizarre that your husband seems so blasé about someone hitting on his wife (after repeatedly being told NO!) and sending her nude pics. And expecting you to cook for him!
This is a husband problem, not a husband’s friend problem.
I got some adult vibes here…. so NTA
Why are you staying with your husband?
I am not going to say you don’t have a David problem. The guy is a prize creep with no respect for no. And we all know what that sort of entitlement can lead to.
But you were worried your husband would blame you…. WYF?
And then he wants to continue being friends with the name harassing his partner. A man who sends nudes to his partner. There are two competing assholes here. Your husband and David.
They say birds of a feather flock together.
You are NTA
NTA. Good on you for standing your ground and protecting yourself and kiddos. Are you sure nothing nefarious is going on when he goes over to David’s? Plus, I’d side eye the whole “husband being on really good terms” with the girlfriend. It also might be time to tell the girlfriend about the unsolicited text messages and behavior towards the kids.
NTA
Lawyer up. You have a serious husband problem. He keeps hanging with a creep; it might be time to start looking for divorce options to keep you and your kids safe.
If your husband doesn’t care that his friend is actively hitting on you then you have a husband problem.
NTA sounds like your husband offered to share or something
NTA But it sounds like your husband has no respect for you. I am wondering if your husband is trying to open up your marriage. David is a total skeeve and I am wondering about your husband.
NTA.
Your husband is an idiot. There’s more to the whole David thing than you know.
>Then next day he texted me on my whatsapp (i am totally unaware of how he got my number)
Your husband gave it to him.
There’s something weird about your husband’s relationship with this guy. if you have money, I’d suggest investigating it. If not, tread carefully – your husband is 100% being weird, too.
NTA he’s gay
Sorry to say this but……. I think David and your husband are fucking the girlfriend. I believe your husband had David to try to fuck you so they could both get it on with you… wouldn’t be surprised if the two guys play around with see each other too…
If I were you, I’d check hubby’s phone and GET TESTED
The thing is there’s two reasons a man might be angry about a dude acting the way this friend did:
The husband loves his family and doesn’t want that disrespect around his family
He’s weirdo possessive of said family and doesn’t like extra attention on them (this is more malicious but definitely something I’ve seen).
Since your husband literally didn’t care what his friend did that means he doesn’t care about you or the kids AT ALL. Especially if the kids are begging him for more time but he decides to hang with a creep. Leave.
NTA.
The last time, you should have told your husband that since David keeps hitting on you, you’ve been wondering what sex with him would be like. Let that swirl around in your husbands empty head for a while. Ask your husband if he fanaticizes about you and David having sex since he doesn’t care about him hitting on you.
nta but do what you said you’d do, your husband is probably going behind your back bc he thinks you won’t do nothing substantial about this david character & also it’s quite odd that david has made the family feel indifferent but dad still wants contact with david
Your husband wanted you to sleep with David, and now they’re having a 3 some with David’s new girlfriend.
Your husband doesn’t respect you at all. The second the line was crossed he would have put an end to that friendship.
Your husband had absolutely no problem with his friend sending his wife d*ck pics and trying to pick her up.
Your husband is now spending time with that same friend and his girlfriend alone.
Any chance they aren’t just fine with both guys going after you?
Assuming your husband isn’t completely oblivious, then I’d say there is either sex or drugs going in here.
As others have pointed out, it could be some kind of sharing situation he is trying to initiate, or he is getting something (most likely drugs) from this David guy.
Either way, sorry this has happened to you. Stay protected and keep records of things in case this escalates.
Finally, the best course of action to start in any situation involving a partner is open and honest communication. Good luck!
NTA.. if my friend sent my wife nudes our friendship would be over the moment I learned of it. Lets not even get to the subsequent invitation to your home because this grown man apparently doesn’t eat well enough just because he was alone. That is total BS from your husband.
Do your husband not have many friends because that is the only conflict I can see even remotely coming between me and my wife. At the end of the day though, if its bad enough that the kids recognize that their father doesn’t spend time with them, he has a bigger problem than this friend. Doesn’t sound like you have a co-parent at all.
NTA
Quite Frankly, I’d drop a friend for sending unsolicited nudes to anyone. Creep behavior.
But sending nudes to my wife?
We have an issue.
NTA, something very sinister about your husband.