My younger brother (22) is at uni and for the past month has been borrowing my car every single weekend. At first, I didn’t mind, I was helping him out so he could go see his girlfriend who lives down in Bristol.
But now its become an every weekend thing. He just assumes he’s having the car from Friday night to Sunday evening. I get a text on a Thursday saying “need the car tomorrow” not even asking. It’s doing my head in. I’ve got my own life, I need to do a big shop, see my own mates, or just be able to go out if I want without having to plan my entire weekend around him.
Last week I told him no, I needed it. He properly kicked off, said I was being a selfish prick and that I knew he ‘had’ to go see his girlfriend. He thinks because I’m not using it every second of the day I should just hand the keys over.
I told him to look at the train or a National Express coach but he says its too expensive and a faff. I get that, I really do, but am I meant to just be his personal car service until he graduates? The tension is a bit mad now and my mum is telling me to just let him have it to keep the peace.
Comments
Lol come on you’re the big brother if he bothers you stick his head in the toilet.
You need a car? Buy one. I did. And if mum wants to keep the peace, she can give him her car.
Time to charge him a rental fee plus he has to return the car with a full tank of fuel.
NTA Tell him to save up and buy his own car if he needs one so badly.
Howzabout little missy in Bristol hustles her ass up to where YOU live?
Your car is yours. Period. And any future favours went out the window with the “selfish prick” comment. FAFO little brother. Enjoy hitchhiking!
NTA. Ur car, ur rules. Hes acting entitled, not asking, just demanding. Its not a rental. Helping once is kind, but being used every weekend? Nah. Let him figure it out like an adult
Somebody told him that that was y’all’s car. Your little brother is delulu. All bets is off after he called you a selfish prick because he didn’t get what he wanted. Instead of running down every weekend to go see your girlfriend how about you get a job so you can put it down payment on a f** car
go out on the weekend more. he can get a bus or train. I assume he’s not paying for fuel either.
if mums so fine with it he can drive mums
Mum can give her car or buy little lord entitled one. If someone needs to sacrifice to keep the peace, it should be the person that forced everyone in the room into existence
So if he hasn’t got his own car then clearly he wouldn’t have any insurance, if he’s on someone else’s as a named driver then he won’t be covered on other vehicles. Does he buy that temp cover shit? Because that is definitely waaay more expensive than any train or coach ticket. If you let him drive your car without cover then YTA but outside of that you’re NTA.
The bus is only more expensive and a faff because he gets to use your car for free with no strings.
NTA. Stop letting him use it if it’s making your life harder. He’s an adult. He can do what every other adult does and use public transit or buy a cheap old car for himself.
Don’t let him use it any more.
NTA
If he wants a car, he can save up and buy one or use your Mum’s car.
I would be finding something that needs to be every weekend “nope, I’m visiting Bob this weekend, sightseeing in Xxx the following weekend, doing a big shop the weekend after, and then I might go visit Bob again. I might be able to let you borrow it again in January”.
Your mum and your brother sound stupid enough to convince ice that they are conceited Americans regardless of what your passports say.
Tell them to stop being c_nts.
Your car, your life, your mobility as you both choose and see fit.
Do you hsve him on your insurance as a named driver?
Bristol has a train station
As a uni student he gets discounted bus tickets esp when booked in advance cheaper anyway right? daughter was paying £15 regularly for cheap bus tickets from Plymouth (devon) up to Cambridge and beyond, which was a round trip of 300 miles, with a few hours wait at a London airport, ..throw it to him, isn’t this girl worth a little inconvenience?
Sounds like you don’t live at home (big shop indicates that) so why the fcuk are they insisting you do this at great inconvenience to oneself ?
One thing, is the car something your parents bought you or all off your own back?
Otherwise their unspoken expectation was for you having been given a let up to get the car help out, if not they can go whistle.
What costs is he contributing and what mileage is it covering in his hands and what alt transport options do your arm my expect you to endure when he’s got it, ..how about mum gives you / him her car and she can sit at home?
Suggest you throw this into the mix also, you have a date / weekend event and will be needing your own car, no they aren’t particularly local either.. what does mum say now!?
Paintball, pre-booked, car full of lads who are.divvying up the petrol costs too.
Tell him tough shit. You’re not fucking his gf so tell him to piss off. It’s your car and you need it. Now you need it every weekend 🤗
The minute a sibling calls me a selfish prick is the absolute end of the car lending NTA
No, he’s the AH that should be keeping the peace. He doesn’t own the car.
When people say “keep the peace” what they really mean is that you should shut up and eat it because they prefer the other person‘s point of view.
It would be a cold day in hell before he drove my car.
NTA
It’s your car , family or not you have the final say on who uses it and when , NTA lil bro is just a entitled brat , stand ya ground op
He’s 22. He’s an adult who can sort out transportation himself. I’m guessing he didn’t pay for petrol either did he. NTA.
NTA. Start charging him for the weekend hire of your car. Is he contributing to maintenance, the insurance, petrol? It all costs money.
If your mum wants to keep the peace, she can lend him her car. If she doesn’t have one, she can hire one to drive him with
“Just keep the peace” – Ask your mother whose peace it is, because it’s not yours.
Tell him no then don’t even drive it all weekend. The little gug can make love to his warty hand.
Isn’t it rich how the ones behaving in the most selfish fashion are the first ones to throw words like “selfish prick”? You using your own car is not selfish. Your brother monopolising your car and acting all entitled IS.
NTA
Too expensive !!! wtf. Guess he better plan better it get the cheap deal or just don’t go until he can afford it.
He’s an entitled little douche… needs to learn the world does not revolve around him.
If your mum thinks it so important why doesn’t she drive him or lend him her car? Or if she doesn’t have one – give him the money.
Is he even on the insurance? What would happen if he wrecked the car? Make him fork out the deductible BEFORE loaning it out again so it’s kind of like a down payment ahead of time. If he doesn’t have the deductible, don’t lend the car out!!
Explain to your mom that it’s YOUR vehicle, he doesn’t pay for gas, maintenance, or insurance. Explain that if he needs the vehicle 12 days out of the month, he will need to pay for that time. Or she can loan her vehicle out to her son and keep the peace that way.
Does the girlfriend not have a vehicle to use or borrow to pick up the boyfriend? Absence makes the heart grow fonder….
NTA. I really thought car lending was just an American thing. Presumably having a 22 year old on your insurance is pushing the premiums up and the risk of ridiculous premiums for 3 years if he has an accident is not worth it.
National express is only more expensive than car because you’re covering the hidden costs. Even then unless you have an electric car I’d say he’s lying.
NTA If National Express is too costly, then I aasume he’s notpaying for his fuel, or contributing to the insurance.
Your car, you get priority.
Nta
You’ve been more than generous, he’s being an entitled twat
He can figure out his own transport
NTA, tell him to buy his own car
You’re British? Tell him he needs to stop being an entitled little prick. Also, take him off your insurance.
Well he could rent a car. Wait. No the problem is he’s broke and any money he has he’s using on the girlfriend so basically he’s just being a freeloader
If your mom wants him to have a car so bad, why doesn’t she let him use hers or better yet why don’t they buy him one?
Keep the peace, yeah not even you need to set a boundary occasionally using it but no not demanding it every single weekend
And I agree, has he put any gas in it? Has he contributed to the fact that it’s going to need an oil change sooner because of his use? It’s going to need tires sooner because of his use. What about insurance? Is he even covered on your insurance?
Let’s be honest, you need to set a boundary and you need to enforce the boundary. If you really don’t mind letting him use it then maybe once or twice a month but not every weekend
“Just let him have it?” SHE can give bro HER car.
Eff “keep the peace.” That’s what people say when they’re too chicken to take a stand.
No, bro, it’s MY car. Done.
NTA. Charge him rental car rates, and make sure your insurance covers his usage.
Go to your mom and say “hey since you feel so strongly about it why don’t you give him your car. I was kind and inconvenience myself so that he could do things but now he’s taking advantage of it and assuming that my car is now his. So, I’m taking my car back, And he needs to find a way to get his own. Like perhaps, shock maybe saving money to buy one like I did.”
NTA
Does he think owning a car isn’t expensive? No, he just doesn’t give a shit because it’s your money and not his that goes toward the car
I’d stop loaning it entirely if this is how entitled he’s going to act