I am (23F) and I have a friend (28M) that had an extremely old, underweight dog and he asked me if I could take care of it for a week while he went to his home country in Belgium. He was d**ressed so I really wanted to help him so I agreed even though I am struggling financially to even take care of myself.
At first, I realised the dog wasn’t eating so I texted him asking if this was normal, he told me he was and he already went to the vet, he also said that the dog would be eating the next day so I shouldn’t worry. The next day passed and he still wasn’t eating, I tried feeding him with a syringe as he was barely any teeth and it worked to an extent. He would only eat a certain amount of of wet food or he would just not swallow the rest.
For the third days, I noticed that he was sleeping the whole day and I worried. I knew this wasn’t a good sign so I texted him again, he again said it was normal. The next day the dog wouldn’t wake up. I was devastated and I was having a panic attack, not knowing what to do. My friend was already struggling with mental health so I was scared of what this news could do to him, especially on vacation.
I decided that I needed to tell him. That’s the only thing I could legally do anyways, so I told him. I told him everything. He left me on seen.
Next thing I know his mother who lived next door was at my door to help discard the dog and confirm the passing. She said it wasn’t my fault and that the dog was old and struggling but he just didn’t want to let his childhood pet go even if he was told to put him down.
I’m going to see him in a few days and I know he’s going to be furious, I feel like this was my fault for not taking him to the vet and I could have potentially prevented this.
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I am (23F) and I have a friend (28M) that had an extremely old, underweight dog and he asked me if I could take care of it for a week while he went to his home country in Belgium. He was d**ressed so I really wanted to help him so I agreed even though I am struggling financially to even take care of myself.
At first, I realised the dog wasn’t eating so I texted him asking if this was normal, he told me he was and he already went to the vet, he also said that the dog would be eating the next day so I shouldn’t worry. The next day passed and he still wasn’t eating, I tried feeding him with a syringe as he was barely any teeth and it worked to an extent. He would only eat a certain amount of of wet food or he would just not swallow the rest.
For the third days, I noticed that he was sleeping the whole day and I worried. I knew this wasn’t a good sign so I texted him again, he again said it was normal. The next day the dog wouldn’t wake up. I was devastated and I was having a panic attack, not knowing what to do. My friend was already struggling with mental health so I was scared of what this news could do to him, especially on vacation.
I decided that I needed to tell him. That’s the only thing I could legally do anyways, so I told him. I told him everything. He left me on seen.
Next thing I know his mother who lived next door was at my door to help discard the dog and confirm the passing. She said it wasn’t my fault and that the dog was old and struggling but he just didn’t want to let his childhood pet go even if he was told to put him down.
I’m going to see him in a few days and I know he’s going to be furious, I feel like this was my fault for not taking him to the vet and I could have potentially prevented this.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I was taking care of my mentally unwell friend’s sickly dog and it unfortunately passed in my hands and I feel like I could have prevented it even though it wasn’t directly my fault.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Your “friend’ used you. NTA.
You dont know that hes going to be furious. And really, if he is, it’s just misplaced grief and blame which he needs kicking to the curb for because it sounds like the dog was going to pass away soon, and your ‘friend’ couldn’t bear to watch so left him with you. This was a cowardly AH thing to do to you. You did the best you could to make the pup comfortable. NTA
NTA, it was absolutely not your fault his aging and ailing pet passed in your care. The dog was obviously not doing well, and was on his way out when your friend took his vacation. It’s very difficult to loose a pet, and also difficult for some people to choose to put pets down when their quality of life has declined. He told you specifically they had been to the vet, and not to worry. He was the one that made the choices he did regarding his pet when you told him what was going on.
It’s also understandable to feel guilt. I once pet sat my friends hamster and it passed while I was caring for it. I felt super guilty, and they were out of contact range. I ended up burying it in a field in a nice box, with flowers and a marker on top. Luckily my friend was very understanding and told me she had adopted it when it was older and it was just it’s time. I also had a pet pass in a friendship care due to a hidden health issue, and they felt guilty too, but it absolutely was not their fault.
Your friend might be angry; anger is a natural part of grief and is easily misdirected when people don’t deserve it. You definitely shouldn’t feel guilty for following his instructions and trying your best.
NTA Your friend would have been accepting this and left you to deal with it all
NTA – his mother lived next door but couldn’t watch the dog?
If my dog was so old and sick, I couldn’t imagine taking a trip out of the country. It was clear that the dog was knocking on death’s door, even his mother said that it was recommended that the dog be put down.
The dog’s passing was not your fault. He stopped eating (whether from loneliness because his ‘owner’ was away or illness). That shows that the dog didn’t want to go on.
NTA and this may have been his plan. He couldn’t do it himself. I’ve been given the task before without warning. It sucks, but do NOT blame yourself for this. The dog wasn’t going to live. They have a short lifespan. It’s the worst part about loving a dog but it is what it is.
Do not accept his anger if it’s directed at you.
The stages you’ve described, the dog was dying, and there was absolutely nothing you could have done to change that. Going to the vet would not have changed the end result.
Question: his mother lives next door?
Then why did he ask you to watch the dog, and not his mother?
NTA. You acted out of compassion and tried to care for the dog to the best of your ability. You’re not responsible for the dog’s health issues.
He left his dying dog with you. You are NTA, but he clearly is an asshole. Who does something like that? That’s disgusting. The dog had to die alone and without family and you had to handle the death of the dog. What a selfish prick.
NTA but your friend is, why leave your sick old dog with someone who the dog doesn’t know? He passed away without his human there. That’s really fucking sad.