So my sister and I don’t speak, I don’t see or talk to her kids. I’ll give a backstory so you can know the reason. So last year I had to take my older daughter to the hospital to get her hip surgery, I asked my sister to watch my youngest daughter(4) for some hours, I even paid her. I’m thinking I left her in good hands, because I’ve babysat her kids before. I didn’t know a mother would have to come home to hear what was going on with her child, it makes me sick till this day. My sister has an older daughter(16), she smokes, does whatever she wants because my sister doesn’t discipline her kids.
Why did I have to get a video sent to me of my niece, and her friends smoking, plus alcohol drinks? But with my daughter, they were giving her a vape to smoke but giving her sips of the drink. and yall my stomach was hurting form watching the video because you can’t trust your own family. Mind you in the video my daughter was coughing, they were laughing like it was funny. Seriously put my child in danger, on top of that when I went off my sister defended her daughter so that right there told me that I didn’t want a relationship with her anymore.
Anyways, my daughter now deals with breathing problems so yeah. During that time I did call cps, and the police immediately. The fact is that my sister wasn’t home at the time but she never made me aware of that. Since she was the adult, she was charged. Her daughter and her friend had to go to juvenile facilities. When cps got involved they found other things my sister had in her house so she made it way worse.
So my sister has been going through it, I only know this because my mom has been telling me. She wants me to say something about my sister but I have nothing to say to her. I didn’t realize that my mom wasn’t even on my side because she defended my sister, like it’s ridiculous. Half the family doesn’t mess with me but it’s cool, I’ll always remember that.
So my mother called because she had something to get off her chest, she was telling me that my sister is really going through it, and how it’s my fault she lost the kids. My mom didn’t want me to put charges on my sister, she doesn’t believe that people should go to jail for something so little. I was tired of my mother just being okay with it, I told her it wasn’t my fault but hers.
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Original copy of post’s text by /u/Sweet-Sea5554:
So my sister and I don’t speak, I don’t see or talk to her kids. I’ll give a backstory so you can know the reason. So last year I had to take my daughter to the hospital to get her hip surgery, I asked my sister to watch my youngest daughter for some hours, I even paid her. I’m thinking I left her in good hands, because I’ve babysat her kids before. I didn’t know a mother would have to come home to hear what was going on with her child, it makes me sick till this day. My sister has an older daughter(16), she smokes, does whatever she wants because my sister doesn’t displince her kids.
Why did I have to get a video sent to me of my niece, and her friends smoking? But with my daughter, they we’re giving her a cape to smoke and yall my stomach was hurting form watching the video because you can’t trust your own family. Mind you in the video my daughter was coughing, they were laughing like it was funny. Seriously put my child in danger, on top of that when I went off my sister defended her daughter so that right there told me that I didn’t want a relationship with her anymore.
Anyways, my daughter was fine. During that time I did call cps, and the police immediately. The fact is that my sister wasn’t home at the time but she never made me aware of that. Since she was the adult, she was charged. Her daughter and her friend had to go to juvenile facilities.
So my sister has been going through it, I only know this because my mom has been telling me. She wants me to say something about my sister but I have nothing to say to her. I didn’t realize that my mom wasn’t even on my side because she defended my sister, like it’s ridiculous. Half the family doesn’t mess with me but it’s cool, I’ll always remember that. So my mother called because she had something to get off her chest, she was telling me that my sister is really going through it, and how it’s my fault she lost the kids. My mom didn’t want me to put charges on my sister, she doesn’t believe that people should go to jail for something so little.
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NTA
Your mom is trying to victim blame. Your kid was abused by her older cousins.
NTA. Your sister is clearly an awful parent. You had nothing to do with that. But your mother probably did, so that is probably her guilt talking. It’s a horrible thing when a parent gets her children taken away, let’s hope it’s a wake up call she badly needs.
NTA!
NTA. Your sister is a piss poor parent if she lets her kids do as they like.
NTA
I would cut contact with all of them, including your mother. What scumbags.
I also would have gone ballistic on the 16 year old and her friends
NTA, your sister should have made better choices, she put herself in this situation.
I see so it’s ok when your sister and her kid abuses your child and causes health problems but soon as you call CPS you’re the bad guy? Yeah the math ain’t mathing mom make it make sense! You’re just mad that your golden child is in jail for what she did and you don’t want to admit that OP did the right thing
People like that shouldn’t breed.
NTA your sister is “going through it” because she is a bad parent who allowed her teenager to give your 3 year old harmful substances. If you sister wants to blame anyone she should start with herself and then her daughter.
NTA. “Something so little”? Your sister who you entrusted with your 4 year old daughter left her with her 16 year old daughter and her friends, who were smoking and drinking and forcing your daughter to participate. A 4 year old CHILD. She deserves to have her daughter taken away from her and your mom needs a reality check. Your daughter now is suffering breathing problems and will probably have issues with that for life, and your mom thinks what your niece did was “minor”? Really? Time to go NC with mom too, until she realizes what kind of danger your daughter was in due to your sister’s negligence.
Nta- I’d go a far as I could with it. Make her face her charges. She clearly shouldn’t be around kids. Literally a danger to herself and others. Neglect, abuse, giving alcohol to minors etc. I’d also screen shot all of your mom’s messages, because we all know she’s going to try to back pedal and scream “grandparent’s rights”.
Your sister should not be charged with any children. She seems to be incapable of supervising.
NTA at all
Your mother is insane! So, for her it was “little” to give alcohol to a 4 year old? And vaping?
If your sister hadn’t committed a big fault, she hadn’t lost custody of her kids, period. Its absolutely not your fault. CPS found other things at her place that made her case worse
I think you have to consider go LC with your mother. If she feels it’s “little” to put a 4 year old in danger, she’s also a risk for your kids
NTA your sister lucky all she got was in legal trouble 😩 i cant legally hit a 16yo but I can an adult for failing to raise her kid. Who in their right mind gives a 4yo vape and LIQUOR jesusguckingchrist
So your mom is okay with her 4 year old granddaughter being abused and possibly given lifelong breathing problems?
NTA. Quit talking to your awful mother.
NTA, but your sister & mom are
Something so LITTLE!!
Your mother like your sister is delusional.
Your sixteen year old niece should know better.
I sincerely hope your daughter’s breathing situation improves.
Btw, who sent the video to you?
Update,please.
NTA. Your sister was the one entrusted with your child’s care, and not only did she neglect her, but she allowed her to be abused by your niece. Now she may have life long-health issues.
You did the right things. Your sister and mom are horrible people who shouldn’t be around children.
Protect your kids.
NTA – Your sister left your daughter in a dangerous situation.
OP, NTA. who in their right mind would make a 4yo child vape
Hold your sister and her daughter accountable for everything they’ve done.
I hope you have shown the video to the police and CPS, and any person defending your sister or niece. Don’t let it go.
NTA. They were giving alcohol to a four year old and making the toddler vape? Are you serious?? That’s beyond fked up, you were right to call whoever. That’s truly shocking.
What did they find in the house that made things so much worse?
Oof…my mom smoked up until I was around 3-4 years old. I remember her having the windows open and it still would blow back in my face. It’s not like she was intentionally giving me secondhand smoke.
Fortunately, as a single mom, she had an epiphany of “omg what happens to her [aka me] if I die from smoking?” And somehow she quit, cold turkey. I am now 30, and she hasn’t smoked since. But my mom still carries some guilt about it to this day. I, too, have breathing problems – but I was born with pneumothorax, that did heal shortly after.
You are 1000% NTA about this, especially because your own child is 4. Your children are your priority, and I’m sorry that the two of you had to go through that. Hoping your other child who got surgery is healing!
Your mom and sister are mad because you didn’t “let something go” and they now have to face the consequences of their poor parenting decisions. It might be difficult, but don’t back down.
NTA. I would have been in prison for manslaughter if I had walked into that situation.
UPDATEME!
NTA
I’d cut your mom off too.
And designate a guardian for your children in case something ever happens to you. You don’t want your kid being raised by either of those two terrible people.
Jesus Christ it was only a joke plus she liked the drink or she wouldn’t have drank more than one sip so it wouldn’t surprise me if that kid was used to alcohol
Quote from your idiot family members (I’m 100% percent sure something like this was said) NTA, they are trash
I’m sorry, your daughter was FOUR?! NTA and I’m glad you reported them.
NTA. They engaged in abuse of your child. Nothing you have done is wrong.
NTA – Your sister lost her kids because she’s a shitty and neglectful mother.
Your mother is also shitty AF if she thinks it’s okay for your sister to leave your daughter unattended with her pothead alcohol drinking 16yo daughter and her friends who got your daughter to vape and drink whatever they were drinking.
I’d report your mother to CPS too incase she tried pulling some shit with grandparents rights. It needs to be on file somewhere that she can’t safeguard your kids because she’s minimising what your sister and her daughter did. She can’t be trusted to not allow your sister/niece to have any contact with your kids.
Nta
So possible permanent breathing problems is just a minor thing in your mother’s eye? Your sister isn’t the only one you should be NC with. Your mother should never be allowed near your kids either. She is just as bad as your sister. NTA. Your primary job is to protect your kids and that is what you did. Anyone who says otherwise doesn’t deserve to be in your life.
She’s paying for her actions and those of her child..which again is her responsibility. She’s an unfit parent. It’s sad but it’s all her doing!
But where the fuck does your mother live? They were hurting a little girl and she defends them, but go fuck herself