I told my mom that my food timings aren’t fixed because of my work schedule, and that she doesn’t have to keep food for me all the time. I prefer doing things on my own terms. My parents live about 10 minutes away, but if I calculate the whole process of leaving, going there, eating, and coming back, it takes me roughly an hour. On top of that, I have to mentally shift gears every time, which isn’t always easy.
Yesterday I asked her to save a particular dish for me because I planned to have it today. But I woke up late and honestly don’t feel like going home, doing the whole process, and then coming back. I feel like I should just grab something nearby instead.
The problem is, my mom often gives me emotional guilt trips about it, saying things like “you’ll miss this when it’s gone” or reminding me that “there are people starving out there.” It makes me feel like I’m being ungrateful or selfish, even though I’ve already explained my situation to her.
So, AITA here?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
I told my mom that my food timings aren’t fixed because of my work schedule, and that she doesn’t have to keep food for me all the time. I prefer doing things on my own terms. My parents live about 10 minutes away, but if I calculate the whole process of leaving, going there, eating, and coming back, it takes me roughly an hour. On top of that, I have to mentally shift gears every time, which isn’t always easy.
Yesterday I asked her to save a particular dish for me because I planned to have it today. But I woke up late and honestly don’t feel like going home, doing the whole process, and then coming back. I feel like I should just grab something nearby instead.
The problem is, my mom often gives me emotional guilt trips about it, saying things like “you’ll miss this when it’s gone” or reminding me that “there are people starving out there.” It makes me feel like I’m being ungrateful or selfish, even though I’ve already explained my situation to her.
So, AITA here?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I asked my mom to save a dish for me, but then I didn’t go to eat it even though she made the effort. It could come across as inconsiderate of her time and care.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Wanting control over your schedule and meals doesn’t make you ungrateful. Your mom’s cooking is a gift, not an obligation, and you’re allowed to say no when it doesn’t fit your life. Her guilt trips are about her own feelings, not about you doing something wrong. You can appreciate her effort and set boundaries at the same tme
If she makes the food and you’re not there to eat it, that’s one thing. But if you ask for food and don’t get it, it’s another.
INFO: How often are you asking her to save you a dish that you plan to have and end up not having it? her response about “people starving out there” is usually the line moms pull when you’re at the dinner table and won’t eat, or food goes to waste.
So your mother was sad and upset because you specifically asked her to make and save a specific dish for you and then you stood her up, not because of an emergency, but because you… couldn’t be bothered? So like? A completely normal reaction?
Yeah, YTA. You sound like a grown ass man, why are you acting so entitled to your mother’s service anyway?
Cook your own damn food and schedule times to see your family that makes them feel that you will show up to see them even if they don’t serve you. This is giving “I never asked you to do that” as a response to being called out for being entitled and ungrateful about someone’s gift.
?? you specifically asked your mom to save a dish, then couldn’t be bothered to go over there and eat it.
YTA for that.
But you asked her to save the food and then up didn’t eat it? That would make you TA. However if she saves every meal and always expects you to come grab it, that would be different. I would love your mom cooking for me, but that’s just a personal opinion.
YTA – you asked, she saved it.
Considering your own words, you knew it would be a hassle, but you still asked to save it.
It makes me wonder if you just felt lazy and are now looking for a reason not to feel bad by blaming her.
Have her freeze them then do a pick up once a week.
Yta i wish my parents could do dis for me my father die 2023 an my mom suffer from alzehiemers an u did asked for d food