I (23M) and my wife (25F) are originally from the Midwest currently live in a large northeastern city but have been looking to relocate. We are looking to have kids in the next few years and both of our parents live in a large retirement centric town in Florida. My wife works remote and I found a job to match my current pay and in effort to get closer to family we thought it might be a good move.
My parents are snowbirds and are only in Florida periodically, when we first mentioned the idea of moving they said we could stay in their house so we could save up for one of our own. Now that I received a job offer things changed. My mom is entrepreneurial to a fault and is always looking for ways to make a quick buck. When I told her I got the job she mentioned that we could pay rent to stay in their place. I thought it would be our own expenses but she came back and said that she thought paying half the mortgage would be fair.
I responded saying that while I appreciate the offer it may not work out as the whole point of moving in is to save some money. My mom went ballistic saying how expensive the house is and “wouldn’t you rather pay us than a land lord?” I finally snapped and said that maybe it would be better if we lived further away from each other and that she completely switched up the idea when I found a job.
AITA for not chipping rent in and blowing up on my mom?
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I (23M) and my wife (25F) are originally from the Midwest currently live in a large northeastern city but have been looking to relocate. We are looking to have kids in the next few years and both of our parents live in a large retirement centric town in Florida. My wife works remote and I found a job to match my current pay and in effort to get closer to family we thought it might be a good move.
My parents are snowbirds and are only in Florida periodically, when we first mentioned the idea of moving they said we could stay in their house so we could save up for one of our own. Now that I received a job offer things changed. My mom is entrepreneurial to a fault and is always looking for ways to make a quick buck. When I told her I got the job she mentioned that we could pay rent to stay in their place. I thought it would be our own expenses but she came back and said that she thought paying half the mortgage would be fair.
I responded saying that while I appreciate the offer it may not work out as the whole point of moving in is to save some money. My mom went ballistic saying how expensive the house is and “wouldn’t you rather pay us than a land lord?” I finally snapped and said that maybe it would be better if we lived further away from each other and that she completely switched up the idea when I found a job.
AITA for not chipping rent in and blowing up on my mom?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I refused to pay rent in an empty home after being told to stay there 2. I blew up and said I should live further from a person and refused to pay rent.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. She changed her initial offer and while she’s free to charge what she wants to live in her home, you’re free to reject her offer if it doesn’t fit your needs and goals.
NTA. They can rent out to someone else and you can live your own lives.
INFO: how does half the mortgage compare with how much it would cost in rent for a place that suits your family’s needs?
NTA. Do you want to live with your parents? It’s a good deal if it allows you to save money. But if you’re paying, I think you’d rather live in your own place with your wife. Your mom is in her right to change the terms and you’re in your right to then change your plans. Good thing this all came out before you moved in because it sounds like as soon as you got a job, rent would have been expected
NTA. Mom’s shown you she’s not reliable as a family member or as a person t do business with. Whole thing will be toxic from any angle. Keep everything totally separate.
NTA. When you rent from a landlord you won’t have manipulative conditions to uphold and a micromanaging mother preventing you from using the property as you want. Landlords control property use too, but it’s spelled out and not conditional. What you’ll save in rent, you will pay in other ways.
Sounds like my (N) mom. She wanted me to pay rent while I lived at home and she was going to save it for me, like she used to save my gift money in a coffeepot but was never there.
NTA – Better watch out mom looking to make a buck? When she’s not there you’ll end up paying the whole mortgage. You 2 find your own place and do your own thing. Stay away from this. Far far away.
NTA. She wants you in her house to control you
NTA and if you move DEFINITELY pay a landlord, not her. Don’t mix business and family with this one.