AITA for telling my new Greek neighbor I don’t want his food when he keeps asking me to take it? Is this some Greek culture thing I’m just not used to?

r/

About 6 months ago or so a new neighbor moved in next to me and he came over, rang our doorbell and introduced himself. He said he is a retired air traffic controller from Greece, and then he gave me a big box of canned food. We thought it was a little weird but nice. We had a hard time understanding his English but we welcomed him to the neighborhood and thanked him for the food. At first we were like “no no we are good you are the new neighbor we should be bringing you food!” But he kept insisting and insisting so we took it.

Now literally every time I’m outside washing my car or walking the dog or working on my bike, he will come over, reintroduce himself and offer me canned food again.

I have no idea why he keeps doing this, but just today I said “it’s really very nice of you but I don’t want your food please stop asking.” Now I kinda feel like a dick but just got sick and tired of him always asking. Maybe it’s just some Greek culture thing I’m not used to? Anyone know?

Comments

  1. Expert-Aardvark7419 Avatar

    INFO Has been canned the food himself? Or is it store bought?

  2. frankicide Avatar

    They are, like you said, new to the neighborhood and it sounds like they are newly immigrated as well. Tthey probably don’t know many people from where you live, and are struggling with communicating effectively.

    One of the universal signs of trying to fit in and get on good terms with people is food. I am guessing they are bringing you this for in an attempt to bond with you in a positive way, and they are probably scared in their new environment.

    If I was you, I would cook something nice and bring it over to them, and say something like, “I figured it was my turn, and wanted to say thanks for all the food I l that you brought us.”

    I can not state how important it is to get along with your immediate neighbors. It’s hell when you don’t.

    They seem like they are good folks, and I’m sure they would welcome your show off appreciation.

    Good luck!

  3. Kooky-Perception-871 Avatar

    He’s trying very hard to make friends and possibly where he’s from they do bring food all the time. Just keep telling him you can’t eat it all you can’t use it in a nice way.

  4. Willing-Anteater-251 Avatar

    It’s a Greek thing they love to share food, or even a shirt off their backs. He is being nice, but I understand the frustration of having to smile for canned goods.

    NTA, and this is someone who knows the culture but detests the constant eating thing.

  5. KeyPop5792 Avatar

    How lucky. I love canned food

  6. valr1821 Avatar

    Greeks do this – it’s just part of the culture to offer food to neighbors, etc. My mom (I’m fully Greek, dual citizen) often sends food to her neighbors – although in her case, it’s usually home cooking and everyone loves it. They’re just trying to be friendly, but you don’t have to accept every time. Just say, thank you so much, but it isn’t necessary. Occasionally, you can just accept it with a “thank you” and return the favor. They will be good neighbors to you (i.e., do things like keep an eye on your house or water your plants while you are away, for example) if you cultivate a relationship.

  7. WhyAmIStillHere86 Avatar

    NAH

    Just smile and thank him and donate it to a homeless shelter

  8. No_Bluebird7716 Avatar

    That’s a BIG Greek thing – nobody ever lacks for food and they get forceful about it.

  9. Prestigious_Sea6684 Avatar

    Greeks are amazingly generous. Offer something in return and be gracious if they offer you again. You could do far worse than have friendly Greek for a neighbor.

  10. [deleted] Avatar

    You’re not the AH but neither is he, he’s just trying to be kind and connect with you. Befriend him! He’ll be a great neighbor. I like a previous commenter’s suggestion of taking the food and donating whatever you don’t need to a homeless shelter.

  11. Twig-Hahn Avatar

    You could always accept the food and then take it down to the food bank shalom you’re loved 💔

  12. CuteProfile8576 Avatar

    Seeing as I just came home for my Yiayia’s with four bags of food (some store bought and some homemade) for a stop that was supposed to take 3 minutes and be completely unexpected (I was in the neighborhood and my mom asked me to drop off something) … Id say yes it’s a cultural thing. She was literally pulling food from her cabinets and fridge fretting at not having time to “properly” feed me and I was “wasting away” plus a bunch of mumbled Greek that my childhood Greek lessons didn’t prepare me for … I’m pretty sure she was sweating some 😂

    Greek people feed people.  The entire Greek festival in our town is food … Like they don’t know what else to do.  They’re like Italians … 

    ETA she came over as a young bride, but she lives in a Greek section of town, so I swear she didn’t Americanized 😂

  13. firemeup18 Avatar

    I wish I were in your shoes! Yummy food incoming. Greek people believe everyone should eat, eat, eat! And honestly, they’re probably just trying to make friends in their new community.

  14. Monotask_Servitor Avatar

    Just Greeks being Greek. Does he love to hose the concrete on his front path/driveway in summer too?

  15. SaltySnail22 Avatar

    Tell him you’re allergic

  16. MissHollyTheCat Avatar

    In this our troubled world, I’m sort of delighted to find such a gentle problem. “I haven’t finished the canned goods that you gave me before Neighbor. You are so generous. I’ll be done washing the car/walking the dog soon. Could you come by in about 30 minutes? I’ll make coffee for us and we could talk?” He probably has jaw-dropping stories of air traffic control and life in Greece. Since English is the language of airplanes and air traffic control, he probably also wants to keep up his English as well as his Greek… and probably is feeling the need for a community.

  17. Living_Ad62 Avatar

    OP, this is a blessing. Good neighbours are ao hard to find. Bring some food over and share, your neighbour wants community and maybe someone to have a chat with.

  18. Playful-Childhood-15 Avatar

    I was so jealous that you got Greek food until I found out it was just canned crap lol.

  19. personality635 Avatar

    “You’re so kind but I’m all stocked up. How about you come over for a meal next time? My turn to feed you!” He’s probably just lonely and looking for a friend.

  20. whitneyscreativew Avatar

    I don’t think you were mean at all.

  21. birdtummy717 Avatar

    yes. Middle eastern people are born with a gene that forces them to feed everyone…and their camel.

    ask me how I know this.

    NTA–but say yes from time to time if it’s something you’re okay with. it’ll make them happy.

  22. FlaxFox Avatar

    NAH but you might want to smooth things over with a friendly gesture soon so he doesn’t think you’re at odds. It’s part of Greek culture but it also sounds like they really want to have a good relationship with you. That’s such an unspeakably fortunate blessing. Don’t burn the bridge; set the pace.

  23. MsTossItAll Avatar

    NAH, but you can always just accept the cans and then donate them to a food bank so you keep a friendly relationship with your neighbor and ensure that it gets to someone who can use it.

  24. Divinityemotions Avatar

    I think he keeps introducing himself because he doesn’t think you remember since he’s the one who always keeps coming to you. I believe the canned veggies are just something he grabs as an excuse to come and talk to you. In Greece people are very friendly and when they come and talk to you, they are open to friendships. Were here you introduce yourself say hi and then that’s it so I think he’s trying to be your friend.

  25. AcceptablePea262 Avatar

    You’re not an AH for saying it, but you are a bit of one for how you said it.

    It’s a cultural thing. Greeks have a thing about sharing Greek food with everyone. And, they WILL make sure neighbors have plenty of food. Neighborhood and community is important to them.

    It’s kind of like if you visit an Italian who has his Nona over. You’re going to get fed. No, you don’t have a choice.

    Honestly, the best thing you could do, is go over, apologize for how it came across. Explain, politely that your pantry is well stocked. Tell him what you would really like is to learn a dish from his hometown, that you could make and share with him.

  26. The_eldritch_bitch Avatar

    As a Greek, Greeks is freaks. It’s def a cultural thing ones who aren’t as Americanized do. Say thanks and just donate it. If he ever brings by some homemade stuff like spanakopita you’re in for a treat. 

  27. LighthouseonSaturn Avatar

    He comes from a VERY social culture.

    I’m from the Balkans, right next to Greece. Our culture is the same, very community focused. Your neighbor is doing what is normal in Greece.

    Americans find it overwhelming. Which I totally understand as I was raised here. It’s a double edged sword…

    Become friend’s, and yeah, him and his family will be over all the time, or invite you over all the time. They will be in your personal space, and it will be a lot.

    However, they will be there for you through thick and thin. They will go out of their way for you in big and little ways. They will consider you like family.

    As overwhelming as it can be, it’s good.

  28. vaniecalde Avatar

    My neighbor was a pastry chef at Disney world. He was also diabetic so he couldn’t test too much of his creations. He would pssst pssst and pass cookies over the fence. I never complained 😅

  29. Opposite-Ad-9209 Avatar

    Only had to read the title, just accept it, they love feeding people and them giving you food is a way of saying, let’s be good neighbours, care for each other etc. Just take it. I really dont see why anyone in this economy wouldn’t accept free food

  30. MealMedical5668 Avatar

    Just take the food and donate it if you don’t like it or need it it is a Greek thing

  31. MiIlFlWi Avatar

    Next he’ll windex everything.

  32. seamstresshag Avatar

    Invite him over for dinner! And drink some orzo! You’ll have a friend for life!

  33. Diligent-Plane-7877 Avatar

    Growing up in a Greek household i am familiar with many customs and practices.. Greeks are very similar to Italians. You’ve all seen or heard Ray Ramono talk about his mom. Greeks are the same way. Sounds like he’s a single guy as you’ve not mentioned his wife. If he had one he would be bringing over desserts like baklava, koulourakia, & Kumblrves. This is his way of sharing his table with you. Be humble accept his gifts maybe invite him to dinner. Sounds like he is lonely.