I (18F) moved out of my parent’s house a little while ago as soon as i could. To provide some context, my parents were both emotionally abusive and have wronged me many times in my life, including threatening to get rid of my dog (which i have a whole post on). Since i moved out, I’ve been working a job and paying rent for an apartment i share with my friend and have had enough money left to save up a bit to go to college in a few years. I am the youngest in the family so after i moved out no one was left at home, both my siblings moved out as well. So their financial support from my brother paying them rent for his bedroom has been cut off. I am completely independent and have told my parents multiple times that i want nothing to do with them and even blocked their numbers completely.
Earlier this week, my grandmother called me and explained that my parents desperately need money for rent and asked if i could spare money from my college savings (which i saved up on my own so far) to help them. I outright refused and told my grandmother I would not be helping at all since every penny in my savings is gathered by me working hard and supporting myself. I love my grandmother and told her that if she needed help herself i was willing to help but would not help with my parents. For this entire week, my aunt has been calling me repeatedly saying my parents really needed this and deserved it for raising me. My mom’s side of the family threatened to cut me off if i didn’t help which is honestly so petty because i’m only 18 years old they should be helping instead. I told my friend about it and she said that i was taking it too far and i should’ve helped. Now im wondering if I am TAH.
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I (18F) moved out of my parent’s house a little while ago as soon as i could. To provide some context, my parents were both emotionally abusive and have wronged me many times in my life, including threatening to get rid of my dog (which i have a whole post on). Since i moved out, I’ve been working a job and paying rent for an apartment i share with my friend and have had enough money left to save up a bit to go to college in a few years. I am the youngest in the family so after i moved out no one was left at home, both my siblings moved out as well. So their financial support from my brother paying them rent for his bedroom has been cut off. I am completely independent and have told my parents multiple times that i want nothing to do with them and even blocked their numbers completely.
Earlier this week, my grandmother called me and explained that my parents desperately need money for rent and asked if i could spare money from my college savings (which i saved up on my own so far) to help them. I outright refused and told my grandmother I would not be helping at all since every penny in my savings is gathered by me working hard and supporting myself. I love my grandmother and told her that if she needed help herself i was willing to help but would not help with my parents. For this entire week, my aunt has been calling me repeatedly saying my parents really needed this and deserved it for raising me. My mom’s side of the family threatened to cut me off if i didn’t help which is honestly so petty because i’m only 18 years old they should be helping instead. I told my friend about it and she said that i was taking it too far and i should’ve helped. Now im wondering if I am TAH.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Not helping my parents with rent should be judged
Not considering their financial situation makes me an asshole because they’re struggling with it
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA they dont get to treat you like shit and then expect to get paid for it
Tell your family mbers that they’re more than welcome to help your folks out if they’re so concerned. Otherwise they can all f off!
NTA
“They deserve it for raising you.” Um, no. That’s what is legally required. You have children, you raise them. They don’t owe you for doing that.
Your aunt and your mom’s side are all welcome to contribute to the rent if they are so concerned.
You? Save up for some therapy as well, and good luck!
NTA
NTA
Your mother’s family should help them if they want your parents to be supported. They shouldn’t rely on you to pay everything. You’re only 18 and just getting on your feet yourself.
Also, there are plenty other of options, like getting a job or going on welfare to help pay bills. Perhaps next time someone calls you to help your parents, you can just give them the phone number to the local welfare office. Or to a temp agency if there are any in your area.
I hope you are able to go to college/university and do well in school and succeed in life. Work on yourself and live well. That will be the best revenge for the abuse they put you through.
NTAH , if they were abusing you, don’t feel shame on what tou did. most people just cut off their parents completely when faced in this situation
Nta
You are doing fantastic. Moved out, saving money for college (on your own!), cutting off your abusive family.
Keep it up, don’t let anyone drag you back into that situation with their petty manipulations. You got this.
NTA. Keep your college fund for your education. You aren’t living at the home, you do not ‘owe’ your parents financial support. Tell the family members and the so-called friends that are pressuring you that you are so happy to hear that they will be paying your parents rent since they are so concerned. Then beat them to the punch on cutting people off and go NC with the lot of them.
Never tell anyone you have money saved. This happens. And it really sucks they are trying to make you feel bad. NTA.
NTA. You should not be expected to bail out your parents. As your aunt is so keen to get involved then maybe she could help out instead. Alternatively, now that your parents have successfully driven all their children away perhaps they could move to a smaller house and save some money that way.
NTA. Grifters gonna grift. Tell granny and auntie to give them free money — it certainly isn’t rent that you’d be giving them — and if they keep hassling you, block them too.