I’m moving into a new apartment in a few weeks with a roommate. The apartment has two bedrooms and the rent is $2,600. One room is a little bigger and has more closet space, and my roommate and I are trying to figure out who gets which room and how to split rent in a way that feels fair.
She’s saying she wants the bigger room, but she also wants to put her desk in the living room to work there. I already told her I’m not comfortable with that because I would feel like I’m disturbing her if I needed to cook or j relax in the shared space while she needs quiet or is in a meeting. I also told her I think the bigger room should cost $100 more because it has more space and a larger closet.
She came back and said she thinks the rent should only be a $50 difference and she still wants to have her desk in the living room, and maybe use more of the shared hallway storage than me too. To me that just feels really unbalanced and is way more than I would try and ask for personally – she’s getting the bigger room, an extra separate work space outside of her room and taking over more of the shared space, all for barely more rent.
My two biggest priorities are (1) having a decent-sized room where I can study privately since I’m starting an intense dental hygiene program, or (2) feeling like I can use the shared spaces without walking on eggshells or constantly worrying about being too loud.
I suggested two options that I think are fair:
Option 1:
She takes the smaller room, we split rent evenly, and she can use the hallway storage to make up for the closet size difference and put her desk in the living room.
Option 2:
She takes the larger room, pays $100 more (or $50 more if I get the single parking lot spot), and the shared spaces stay neutral, no desk, we split the hallway storage equally, and everyone can use the space whenever.
I’m not being stubborn about the money and I honestly would be happy to pay $1400 and $1200 if the common spaces were shared evenly and I had the larger room. I just don’t want to end up in a situation where I feel resentful or like I don’t have space to breathe. I’ve tried to compromise, but it feels like she’s pushing for everything she wants without really taking my needs into account.
AITA for holding firm to these compromise options and telling her no?
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I’m moving into a new apartment in a few weeks with a roommate. The apartment has two bedrooms and the rent is $2,600. One room is a little bigger and has more closet space, and my roommate and I are trying to figure out who gets which room and how to split rent in a way that feels fair.
She’s saying she wants the bigger room, but she also wants to put her desk in the living room to work there. I already told her I’m not comfortable with that because I would feel like I’m disturbing her if I needed to cook or j relax in the shared space while she needs quiet or is in a meeting. I also told her I think the bigger room should cost $100 more because it has more space and a larger closet.
She came back and said she thinks the rent should only be a $50 difference and she still wants to have her desk in the living room, and maybe use more of the shared hallway storage than me too. To me that just feels really unbalanced and is way more than I would try and ask for personally – she’s getting the bigger room, an extra separate work space outside of her room and taking over more of the shared space, all for barely more rent.
My two biggest priorities are (1) having a decent-sized room where I can study privately since I’m starting an intense dental hygiene program, or (2) feeling like I can use the shared spaces without walking on eggshells or constantly worrying about being too loud.
I suggested two options that I think are fair:
Option 1:
She takes the smaller room, we split rent evenly, and she can use the hallway storage to make up for the closet size difference and put her desk in the living room.
Option 2:
She takes the larger room, pays $100 more (or $50 more if I get the single parking lot spot), and the shared spaces stay neutral, no desk, we split the hallway storage equally, and everyone can use the space whenever.
I’m not being stubborn about the money and I honestly would be happy to pay $1400 and $1200 if the common spaces were shared evenly and I had the larger room. I just don’t want to end up in a situation where I feel resentful or like I don’t have space to breathe. I’ve tried to compromise, but it feels like she’s pushing for everything she wants without really taking my needs into account.
AITA for holding firm to these compromise options and telling her no?
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NTA she doesn’t get to take over. She can have tbe smaller room and put her desk in the common area.
What logic is it that she gets a special part of the common area, the bigger room AND MORE OF THE STORAGE SPACE!
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action that I took that should be judged is telling my roommate, who will be working from home, that I’m not comfortable with her having her desk out in the living room unless she takes the smaller bedroom and we pay equal rent. I feel like that action might make me the asshole because she will be in the apartment a lot more than me, but now she is asking if she can also have the larger room and I’m getting really frustrated. I’m not used to setting boundaries or standing up for myself, and I guess I feel like an asshole for just not letting her get everything she wants, because that’s what I’m used to doing to avoid conflict.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA-don’t let her put her desk in the shared area. She can have the bigger room and put her desk in it. Maybe $50 difference for just the room.
Is it too late to look for a different roommate? NTA
Both of you need to agree whether the living room is for WFH, and whether anyone can demand quiet in there for meetings or work. I think the answer is no. But the point is that you both need to agree on the same answer. If you can’t agree on that, you shouldn’t live together.
As for the rooms, each of you should write down on a piece of paper the maximum amount you’re willing to pay for the larger room. Then you both show your papers. Whoever wrote down the larger number gets the room, at the amount you wrote down.
NTA.
NTA. She can either have the bigger room with her desk in it or smaller room and the parking spot is permanently hers. Those are the choices and rent split if there’s only 1 assigned parking spot.
She creates the 2 options. You get to pick.
Wait, I saw this movie, I know how it ends!!!
NTA. definitely don’t let them put the desk in the shared space. As for figuring out what the price difference should be. May be a little complicated, but my last roommate and I went by square footage. So ex: total apartment was 1,000sqft, for 2000$ a month. So 2$/sqft. Shared spaces we each paid 1$, private room we paid the 2$ ourselves. So if their room was 50sqft more than mine, they paid 100$ more than me.
You can also calculate the actual cost per square foot (divide the total cost of the apartment by the total square foot. That gives you cost per square foot.) Then do the math on the size difference of the room. If Large Room is X square feet larger, and you know the cost per square foot, you can argue how much more that space should cost compared to the Small Room. The rest of the apartment is shared space and cost covered equally. You can also use the same logic is she wants extra Common Space and you ultimately agree to it. How much more Common Space square footage does she want for herself, and do the actual math on what that costs. Just a suggestion!
As far as who gets the bigger bedroom, y’all need to have an auction. Tell her that you’re willing to pay $1310 for the bigger bedroom and then ask her if she’s willing to pay $1320. Then you counter with $1330, and y’all keep going until somebody bows out.
NTA – did u by chance already sign the lease? if not – immediately find a new roommate, she will continue to try and take advantage
If she’s using the living room as her work from home office she’s effectively taking over two out of three rooms in the house.
I get it, it sucks no one wants to have their workspace in their bedroom but that’s what happens when you rent and your in a share house
Bigger room, desk in that room for her, no extra cost
You smaller room and car spot permanently no extra cost. You both have a decent benefit .
Though I’d argue the parking spot is worth more than a bigger bedroom
Nta
Find a different roommate.
NTA your options sound fair
tell her you accept, will take the larger bedroom, will pay $50 extra per month, and will use extra storage in hall and put your desk in the living room.
be a hardass, imo, unless you really need this roommate (like you will be homeless instead).
i like option 2 the best. in option 1 she is still putting her desk in the LR. is that worth the parking spot? you guys have a lot of negotiating to do. the only good solution will leave you both slightly unhappy (or in less common cases, both happy).
NTA
Does she want the other bedroom too? Maybe you can just sleep on the couch. After all, she should have as much space as possible.
One cuts, the other chooses. One of you sets the rent differential, and the other one decides whether or not they will accept the larger or smaller room based on the figures set by the other.
NTA. But $50 a month for the bigger room is clearly not fair when shes also monopolizing the living room for her work space.
I would either not move in with her, or find a different apartment. She a;ready sounds unbearable to live with. Personally theres no reason she needs her desk in the living room with the bigger room lmao.
Does your apartment have like a dining room area, like where you’d put a kitchen table? The one time I had a roommate, she got the big bedroom with attached bathroom and so I got the dining room area for my desk.
Your suggestions are fair, but even if your roommate agrees to one of them, I see a future of the roommate passive-aggressive comments/pushing boundaries in your future. A different apartment or different roommate may be your best option.
NTA.
Use square footage to split bill
NTA
Don’t compromise on the desk in the living room. First, it will become an increasingly greater annoyance as times goes by because she will ALWAYS tell you that you can’t be there when she is “working.” Second, it’s a foot in the door for her to keep taking more.
Here is an arrangement I think would work for you both:
Good luck!
NTA.
It sounds like she really needs 2 rooms, one for her and her stuff and a second room for her at home office and storage needs.
I would not be ok with someone having their desk in the shared space.
Generally it works better to have your own storage closet, even if its a shared storage space. Because then it is really clear whose space is whose and you can lock it if someone decides to help themselves. I would lock mine anyway.
I would nor be splitting food bills with this one either and have a small fridge in my room. She sounds pretty entitled.
Has she lived with a roomie before?
It’s always hard to house break a new roomie., especially one who feels entitled.
She has a lot of junk, so she pays more for the bigger room, desk goes in there. She gets 1/2 the rest of the storage. If stuff won’t fit she can rent a separate storage locker like the rest of the world does.
Or, if the parking is of interest to you, you get the parking spot, she gets the bigger room, and the rent stays even.
Really think about whether the place really suits you both or if you need a different roomie. This one sounds like she’s trying to have a 2 bedroom lifestyle in a 1 bedroom space, using you to subsidize her.
Try Splitwise ?
https://www.splitwise.com/calculators/rent
I just popped some estimates in and it thinks your roommate should be paying more like 100 more just for the larger room.
NTA for keeping things like desks in bedrooms instead of shared space.
Community space is for community only. Personal goes to personal spaces only. If this is not the agreed terms then living together is untenable.
NTA but DO NOT agree to her desk in your living room. It will become her office and her space. If she’s this selfish now – I can’t imagine how it will be once you move in.
Info: if you’re taking the larger room, why are you not agreeing to pay more since you will have more space than she will? Because regardless of her being able to have extra storage, she will still have that storage outside of her room and you won’t.
NTA, for what she’s asking for I’d suggest $50 per week, not per month. Definitely don’t let anyone have their workspace in the common use spaces, you’re right, that’s a recipe for disaster!
This isn’t going to work in the long run, you know that right? No one this obtuse is going to stick to anything you agree to once you’re locked in and can’t easily get out of the lease.
Don’t move in with her. She is already trying to takeover the apartment and act like she lives alone. Like seriously don’t move in with her.
grow a spine
NTA, and I wouldn’t move in with her. Even if you come to an agreement you feel is fair, she is 100% going to push boundaries and make things uncomfortable for you. At the end of the day if she wants the bigger room she needs to pay more unless you get the car space. And common areas should remain usable for both people, meaning her desk needs to go in her room.
aita is the dumbest fucking sub
can anyone think for themselves anymore without validation from strangers
youre going to school to be a professional.
grow up and act like one
Set rent by square footage and let her know that you’ll let her rent the extra desk space but won’t be accommodating her desire to use the living space uninterrupted, you won’t be giving her special privileges
It’s going to be a miracle if you two make it through 1 lease.
This should have all been decided BEFORE the lease was signed.
If it’s not too late, back out now. If it is, good luck.