Aita for telling my sister her kids aren’t mine?

r/

My sister is very annoying sometimes which is why I don’t talk to her on a daily basis, she always finds a way to cause a problem.

My daughter birthday was coming up and I’ve been planning on what to get her, a car because she’s been asking for one since she was 13. I wanted it to be a surprise, my nephew birthday was on the same date as my daughter so they’re both 17. He never tells anyone what he wants so he just gets random stuff, the only time I heard he wanted a car was last year. My sister and his dad didn’t get it for him because they were struggling financially so even they didn’t have a car. I thought getting him a ps5 and a gaming set would be cool because my sister couldn’t afford to get it for him last birthday.

I ordered my nephew things earlier just in case it wouldn’t come in time, since we don’t live close I had the gifts sent to my sister house with gift wrapping. When it was time for their birthdays I made sure to wish them both happy birthday, I was hoping my nephew was grateful for the gift. My daughter was surprised about her gift and I was happy that she liked it, she couldn’t help but to tell everyone. But my nephew didn’t tell me thank you, I texted and asked if he liked my gift but he ignored my messages so i guess it was a no.

That’s when my sister called me, thought she was calling for something but no. She called complaining about my gift, she said how did my daughter get a car and not her son. I was kinda confused on why was she making this a problem, she’s my child and that’s what she wanted. My sister doesn’t even get my kids gifts so I should be mad actually but I don’t go ranting about them not getting a gift.

I told her because I did so she shouldn’t have a problem about it. I don’t know what made her so mad, she went on about how my nephew was upset he didn’t get a car and I could have made it even. That’s when I told her, her kids aren’t my kids. I can’t believe this is real because why would anyone be mad at this? Since my gifts aren’t being appreciated so I’m stopping and no one is getting gifts from me. To her and my mom, I’m TA.

Comments

  1. dr_lucia Avatar

    She thinks you should get her son, your nephew, a car? And yes, of course you spend more on your kid. NTA

  2. Expensive_Onion_5831 Avatar

    NTA you’re allowed to gift your child what you want and her complaining about it is unreasonable

  3. GuyFromLI747 Avatar

    YTA for this rage bait

  4. EmploymentLanky9544 Avatar

    >She called complaining about my gift, she said how did my daughter get a car and not her son

    One of life’s greatest mysteries, solved: her son didn’t get a car because his mother didn’t buy him one.

    How entitled.

    NTA

  5. I_wanna_be_anemone Avatar

    If she can’t afford the car for her son, how were you to know if she could afford to insure it/maintain it/fuel it?

    A PS5 is an incredibly generous gift. Your sister is horrifically entitled to demand you spend your money how she dictates, and incredibly emotionally immature to think that her son expressing disappointment means she gets to project her own feelings of inadequacy onto you. Time to reduce the handouts to sisters family. NTA

    Edited to fix spelling

  6. Silent-Blueberry2983 Avatar

    NTA
    WTF? She and your mom can buy him a car. It’s not your responsibility to buy him a car or make it even.
    A PS5 & gaming set were already a very generous gift….

  7. Ratchet_gurl24 Avatar

    Sister Why didn’t my son get a car?

    OP Because you didn’t buy him one

    Sister (Shocked Picatchu face)

  8. Happy_Plate4406 Avatar

    You’re not the AH and she needed to be told this. Is not your responsibility to buy your nephew a car. And yeah he might be sad but that isn’t your fault and honestly has nothing to do with you

  9. Celestialluna9 Avatar

    NTA even the ps5 is such an above and beyond gift in my opinion. HER son didn’t get a car because HIS parents couldn’t afford one. Your daughter got one because you can. How entitled to think you should be providing for HER child. Your sister is the AH

  10. Bella_9967 Avatar

    Nta you must gift your child what she wants , your sister is talking without any reason

  11. Amara1Graceful Avatar

    You’re NTA. Your sister is acting entitled your daughter is your responsibility, and it’s totally fair that you chose to get her what she wanted for her birthday. Y

  12. Regular_Boot_3540 Avatar

    NTA. Nobody buys a car for a nephew or niece’s birthday unless they’re rich and trying to make a splash. And that would piss lots of parents off. Your sister is acting very entitled.

  13. Agoraphobe961 Avatar

    NTA. A PS5 is an awesome and completely appropriate gift for a relative outside your household, a car is not. Cars come with additional costs like insurance and maintenance which can be a burden on the recipient.

  14. AmericanDogMom Avatar

    No you are not TAH. Unless you are just rolling in it, you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for not buying your nephew a car. Your nephew is 17 and he could work to buy his own car.

  15. forgetregret1day Avatar

    Where do people get the nerve to say things like this? You bought a nice and thoughtful gift for your nephew and an appropriate and nice gift for your own child. Yet she’s so ungrateful and demanding that she overlooks the kindness to gripe that you didn’t buy her kid an entire car? What makes her think it’s your responsibility to make big purchases for a nephew? It’s her own shame at not being able to provide things on that level and I’m sorry that’s her situation but it doesn’t make it your responsibility to shell out thousands of dollars on an extended family member. Tell your mom she’s welcome to buy the kid a car and your sister can feel free to send your gift back if it wasn’t good enough. Ridiculous. NTA.

  16. Careless-Image-885 Avatar

    NTA. No thank you from the kid and his mother is acting like she’s entitled to your money. Your mother is a big AH as well. I guess they believe you should be throwing money at them.

    Pull back on the amount you spend on “not my kid”. His parents need to take care of “big” gifts for him.

  17. TheFairyQueen420 Avatar

    NTA. Your sister is one tho for expecting you to buy HER kid a car. I bet he liked the present you sent him & it’s your sister trying to make an issue out of it. I mean, let’s be real. ANY teenage boy would LOVE to get a brand new PS5 for their birthday. If y’all’s mom thinks you’re such an AH, why don’t you suggest she help your sister get a car for your nephew.

  18. Oddly-Appeased Avatar

    Damn that some next level entitlement. Getting your nephew a PS5 is not a cheap gift and in my experience only something a parent would do, unless the family is very well off. She has no reason to expect you to give your nephew the same thing as your daughter. Your sister and mom and out of their minds.

    NTA

  19. llamafull98 Avatar

    NTA.

    And your daughter was excited she wasn’t like rubbing it in their face. It’s understandable that maybe her kid was a little bummed but that’s not your problem or your responsibility it’s his parents. A good parent and reasonable adult would have explained to their child that while they weren’t able to gift him a car the gifts he DID receive were given with love and should be appreciated and maybe that they can work towards getting him a car in the future.

    Your immediate family is your spouse and kids, your sister mom and nephew are now extended family, in what world would they get the same benefits as your child?

  20. Head_Photograph9572 Avatar

    Lady, WHY did you post this nonsense?!

  21. Professional_Rule305 Avatar

    I’m in shock! Who in their right mind would expect their Sister to buy their child a car just because you bought one for your own child??The entitled stupidity is unreal!!

  22. Lizzydeathstar Avatar

    I’m also mad that you didn’t buy me a car. And a pony too.
    This has to be fake…

  23. dwantheatl Avatar

    NTA. Your sister is acting like a child. Why on earth should you buy her child a car? Ridiculous (how would insurance, gas, maintenance be paid)?!

  24. lovescarats Avatar

    I see no contact with sis and mom starting now. Such bold entitlement. NTA

  25. Sheera_Power Avatar

    NTA! Like you said, not your kid. They should appreciate what you got him and he should like it since they couldn’t afford to get it for him. I would agree, no more gifts!

  26. Chloe_Phyll Avatar

    NTA. What did your sister give as a birthday gift to your daughter? Same as she got her son? Yeah, didn’t think so.

  27. Admirable_Spray1291 Avatar

    Ain’t no way she wanted you to buy HER son something as huge as a car. The PS5 was enough man. 😭

  28. BraveWarrior-55 Avatar

    It is NEVER ok to tell someone their gift was unsatisfactory; what you do is graciously accept the gift, thank the giver, and then do with the gift what you want. That your sister demanded you gift HER child the same as you did YOUR OWN child, is Entitlement with a capital E, and a huge helping of RUDE on the side. Simply ignore this outburst and never give any of them a gift again. They don’t appreciate it.

  29. Admirable_Spray1291 Avatar

    Your sister is mad ungrateful.

  30. LucyLovesApples Avatar

    Nta and a PS5 gaming system is more Han generous from someone that’s not a parent towards a gift.

    It’s not your responsibility to buy big gifts like that

  31. Infinite_Hat5261 Avatar

    NTA –
    Question: what did your daughter receive from her aunty and uncle? A PS5, or equivalent?

    I’d hazard a guess here that the son appreciates the PS5 from his aunty (if I got anything like this growing up from an aunt or uncle I’d be over the moon). His disappointment is definitely toward his parents. Why does my cousin get a car from his parent/s? But mine don’t get me one?

    His mom is embarassed because the PS5 is probably still better than what his parents got him, and how dare you get your daughter something you are able to.

    What’s wild is that she expects you to get HER SON a car? What?! That is some next level entitlement, what next, pay for his college, his first apartment etc.

  32. angelicak92 Avatar

    Wtf… why would you give her kids a CAR? I’m sure he appreciates the ps5, that’s an epic gift – your sister is the greedy little cretin who thinks you should fund her family. Nta

  33. DanaMarie75038 Avatar

    NTA. That’s a pretty awesome gift you got him. He has learned being unappreciative from her disgusting mother. Stop giving gift to people who don’t appreciate what you can give.

  34. ValentinaBerries Avatar

    You are absolutely not the asshole here. Your sister is being completely unreasonable.

  35. Dazzling_Note6245 Avatar

    NTA. Your sister is being ridiculous.

    But I think you should keep in mind that isn’t her son’s fault and still get him gifts.

  36. Master-Manipulation Avatar

    NTA

    A PS5 is a generous gift. That’s at least $350 if not $400+

  37. grayblue_grrl Avatar

    NTA…

    Your sister and mom can get her kids what they want to.
    You don’t have to get them anything at all.

    Meanwhile did the nephew thank you for the PS5 etc?

  38. MilesianLion Avatar

    You did a really nice thing for both kids. Your sister is obviously not dealing with the realities of life well and is being unreasonable as a result. It’s very immature of her and certainly not your problem. NTA.

  39. Careless-Ability-748 Avatar

    nta they’re ridiculous, why would you but your nephew a car?

  40. DasBleu Avatar

    NTA but you should talk to Nephew. He actually might be happy about the gift but disappointed his own parents couldn’t get him a car, or anything, which makes them look bad.

    I’d even check it make sure he knows you got him the ps5.

  41. GullibleNerd88 Avatar

    How entitled!!! Good that your not gifting them. They don’t deserve it!