Aita for telling my sister I’m not making her kids a birthday cake.
Never understood why people believe they can get their way all the time, definitely not from me even if they try.
I’m a baker and have being doing this for 9 years now, I’m like the family baker whenever they need something made. I don’t mind baking for them but I hope I get my profit because baking can be tiring sometimes. I just had my baby 2 weeks ago but I still try to make orders, my kids help me with orders a lot so they make it less stressful.
My niece and her brother birthday is coming up. My niece is turning 10 and her brother is turning 8, my sister has been planning their birthday for some time now. She wants me to make the cake and treats, such things like cake pops $35, chocolate covered strawberries which is $24 for 12 and she wants 10 boxes of them. etc. I told her okay and give me the inspo picture for the cake, she showed me a beetle juice cake with 2 layers and and spider man cake, I charge $105 for 2 layers. I was up for it because it was a nice looking cake, and I loved beetle juice.
12x cake pops: $35
2 layer cake: $105
12x Chocolate covered strawberries: $24
Per dozen cake pops: $20
Chocolate chip Cookies: $5
When I told her about the price she kinda went silent for a minute and then questioned what I was talking about, she assumed it would be free. I was stunned that she thought that when I’m making multiple things for her especially the time I have to work, I told her that’s the entire price and she still wasn’t believing it, she asked if she could pay me back later because she doesn’t have the money right now since her husband left.
I already knew she was not going to pay me back because I gave her free stuff in the past so I kinda think I made her think like this so probably my fault. I even suggested Walmart cakes for her but she doesn’t like Walmart and she lives 2 hours from there. I even told her she can’t make the cakes for herself because box cake mix is not expensive, I told her the kids should design their own cupcakes/cake so it could be fun for them.
I told her I’m sorry but it would take up my time and I won’t make anything profit when she’s asking for so much, I told her I can just make her a dozen cupcakes and that’s it. it’s crazy family can’t support you without thinking everything is free or a “family discount “ I explained to her but she was pissed even more. I told her I’m not making it unless she pays, she said I’m TA because I’m going to ruin their birthday.
Comments
NTA family does not mean free. If she wants you do make it, at bare minimum she should pay for the ingredients.
NTA
Tell her you will bake the cakes when she provides all the ingredients. If she doesn’t provide all the ingrdients, neither cake will be made.
It is then up to her whether the cake gets made and she can’t diss you to relatives about not baking the cakes for her.
NTA, ask her to go ask Walmart for a free cake and see how they respond?
I’m the family baker too. I wouldn’t charge full price, but they do absolutely pay for the ingredients. Granted I don’t have to ask. It’s just known in our family.
Definitely NTA. If she wants a free cake, make a box cake, slap some frosting and candles on it and call it good.
Maybe it’s time you establish some boundaries with family expectations
Like if you’re happy to make a basic one layer cake or x amount of cake pops or strawberries etc.
Their expectations need to be adjusted. I can only imagine how much time it’ll take for you to make all that, not to mention the price of ingredients
NTA. That’s an insane amount to request, especially for free. Just tell her you will make a basic cake and that’s it. You obviously don’t have to tho.
NTA not exactly the same thing, but i crochet. making shit by hand takes TIME and the materials cost A LOT. people have absolutely no concept of how long it takes to make things and no respect for the effort you put in. sister is insanely entitled to expect you to give her like—what? $500 worth of baked goods??
Tl;dr?
No, you’re not going to ruin anyone’s birthday, your sister did that singlehandedly by not putting money away for cake and stuff. Why doesn’t she bake some cakes herself? It’s not that hard. Cupcakes are not that hard. Cookies are not that hard. Your sis assumed, for God knows what reason, that you would a)work for free b)would pay for all the ingredients yourself. In short, your sis expects you to pay her. That’s insane. Poor planning on her part does not constitute an obligation on yours.
NTA! I’m a baker and my specialty is cheesecake so I feel your pain, but honestly I’m less bothered about the profit loss because you JUST HAD A BABY TWO WEEKS AGO?!?! The sheer unfiltered audacity to ask you for that level of work when you’re not even healed, and FOR FREE?!?
She doesn’t deserve you or your desserts and it would be a hard no from me.
NTA
NTA She ruined the birthday by assuming you’d do it all for free.
I guess my question is: do you charge your other family members the same rates that you listed? If so, then NTA.
NTA. I’ve always had the attitude with family and close friends if they want something small and they are prepared for me to fit them in when I have time I can do it cheaper but if they want something substantial that will take a decent amount of time they are paying full price and treated like any other customer
I get it shouldn’t be free but to say I’m not making “profit” yeh you do sound a smidge of an AH, no it shouldn’t be a free ride but at least mates rates, family should occasionally apply in some instances. Why did you just ask her to at least cover the ingredients!!
The cupcakes are generous. NTA at all.
You just had a baby. The audacity.
she wants to you go get ingredients, spend hours on your feet, decorate, while dealing with a new born.
she can make a cake. She will cope with wallmart or find another baker
NTA. Home baker here (no LOs in my house and retired). My view is if I volunteer to make something I don’t expect to get paid, even ingredients. But if someone asks me to bake I expect at least my ingredient costs to be covered.
The most I would offer your sister is 2 dozen cupcakes (1 for each nibling) unless she’s wanting elaborate decorations.
Is anyone surprised husband left the sister? The entitlement is strong in that one.
NTA Tell her she can go to the grocery and buy a cake. Family does not spell free
NTA. A birthday isn’t ruined just because the cake doesn’t come with a family discount. If she wants a luxury bakery experience on a dollar store budget, she might need to start preheating her own oven.
NTA. Not even going to comment on her wanting complete freebies, but you just had a baby. NTA!
She wants a lot for a free loader. The only way you can survive is to draw a hard line now. This is what it is, this is what it costs and this is how it’s always going to be from now on. Anyone expecting anything less is stupid. And with a two week old? Tell her to try Walmart.
NTA. Question: 120 strawberries? How many people are coming? Overall, it sounds like a lot of food. You are not in the wrong because the time you take to make her stuff could be used to make stuff for people who will pay.
I wonder if your sister is trying to overcompensate for the breakdown of her marriage.
What happened to the old days of cheap pizza and a sheet cake?
NTA
Congratulations on your new baby, I hope you are able to sleep at least four hours a night.
My friends and family know that I love and value them. I always expect to pay full price for anything they make, that’s how I support their business.
a grifting sis, must be hard with self entitled relatives, she is horrible besides being cheap. using your talent, your ingredients, your time and since you have an infant she is doubly twunty to ask for free anything.
You have given her free baked goods in the past. She is trying to provide a nice birthday party for 2 children whose father has left their home.
Maybe you can compromise. Buy a sheet cake and use your decorating skills to make it special. Cake pops are not necessary when there is a cake. Strawberries can also be omitted. The children will be delighted.
Set boundaries for future events, but don’t assume that sister should have assumed that you would charge her. Maybe your sister can come to your home and provide child care while you work on it.
NTA. Make it clear that with the price of eggs and all the other ingredients required that you require payment up front. If she can’t afford that then it’s a gift of a dozen cupcakes. Apparently she is a complete mooch, or doesn’t do any grocery shopping if she thinks you can afford to gift her all of that food for free.
Maybe she should figure out other cheaper ways to celebrate since it’s apparent she’s of the single mother designation now….Seems like she’s trying to keep up lifestyle after her husband peaced it on them…not a good way to carry on
NTA. She is entitled.
I baked my oldest sister’s cake for her 40th birthday and she knew it wasn’t for free. Countless text messages were ignored so I finally put an invoice through her letter box. She eventually paid me but never asked me to bake anything for again
NTA especially since this is your business. If you were in a place to do it for the cost of the ingredients that’s one thing. But people don’t get that the time taken to do this big of an order means you can’t take a paying customer.
I’m the family baker, and I don’t mind most of the time. I enjoy it and love making things people enjoy eating. HOWEVER…I was asked to make 2 very large cakes (different flavors) for a 100+ person party taking place at a venue. The cakes were different flavors and the ingredients I had to buy to make them were imported specialty ingredients and not cheap. I just asked for money to cover ingredients as I had recently lost my job. I was told I’d get the money and it would be sent to my BF’s cash app (I don’t have one). It will come as no surprise that this never happened.
Recently, my SIL had a birthday and we were doing a belated celebration. Her kids were going to get her an ice cream cake. Great. I had made a couple other things to bring. The kids got into it with each other, and no one got the cake. I ended up going out to get it for her. No one offered to reimburse me for it. Mind you, they make more money than I do. 😝
You’re not going to ruin their birthday she’s trying to guilt you into giving her a ton of cakes and cake for free. She’s an opportunist. Let her sweat in a kitchen for hours on her own dime.
I don’t ask for a friend/family discount bc people are running a business, and I want their business to succeed. Do I suspect I’ve gotten a discount? Absolutely, but I never ask for one. It’s beyond ridiculous to not at least offer to cover costs. NTA
she’s asking for way too much. imo if she’d asked you to make just the cake and pay for ingredients that needed to be bought specifically, that would be a normal request; i’m also a baker and would be thrilled to do something like that for my brother’s kids, if he had any. not for everyone, but for my brother, for sure. but all of that goes out the window knowing you’ve just had a baby of your own two weeks ago?!
By that metric family should pay full price to support your business. Foe how many days does she think your children should go without food while you earn nothing cooking cake for hers?