My (28F) sister Nova (30F) used to be a normal person until a year ago give or take. She entered a new group of friends and she became a life coach. She and her friends basically coach people into everything like relationships, divinity, nature, returning to the origins, feminism etc. They also organize retreats to Peru with their clients doing there for 2 weeks at a time for some spiritual thing. At first I was happy for her because this new hobby seemed really cool, sounded interesting and she was happy. The problem is after some time she started to be really mean to people who don’t share the same views at her. For example she tries to convince me that my life choices are not actually my own but I am in the matrix and all my choices are induced and imposed to me by the patriarchy sistem. And by life choices she means me loving to take care of how I look – going to salons, dressing up, getting my hair and my nails done. Things that I started doing ever since I was a teenager and that I do monthly because hell, life is short, earning money involves having a job which sucks so I believe I deserve to treat myself with my own money. But to her it does not matter that I love doing all of these. Somehow it’s my husband’s fault and he is the one brainwashing me to be like this.
I never had any reaction to what Nova has been saying about me becasuse it doesn’t bother me honestly. If I know something about me it’s not true I don’t feel like having to prove to you that what you claim about my person is false. But yesterday she crossed a line when she made mom cry. She called my mom a breeder who was used by our dad to reproduce and raise kids just because she was a SAHM. For info my mom was not a SAHM because she wanted to or because she was lazy. Mom has an autoimune disease that periodically makes her incapable of using her hands. She can be ok today and wake up tomorrow with her hand paralyzed. And Nova knows it. She also knows this is a big insecurity for mom. After the debut of the disease she had years seeing herself as useless and dad having to reassure her she is not. Dad even started making candles with her at home and selling them after just to help her with her depression. So I lost it, slapped Nova, pulled her hair a little and called her names. I know violence is bad and everything but she was way out of line. Since last evening she is demanding me to apologize to her otherwise she will report me. But me not apologizing is the hill I am willing to die on in this case and I told her what I said in the title. If she can’t understand she hurt mom, why should I care that I hurt her?
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not the ah. your sister insulted your mom knowing her struggles, and that’s cruel. you defended her. while hitting wasn’t great, your reaction came from love. she owes your mom an apology ,not the other way around.
Sounds like Nova needs a reality check. You did what needed to be done.
NTA, fair play.
NTA. Honestly, your restraint is impressive.
I mean is it even violence if you just happen to bitch slap your own sister who offended you mother who carried and cared for her? NTA and your sister is disgusting and cruel for what she said. Without that breeder she would not exist rn
NTA maybe I need to slap nova as well
NTAH deserved
“Calling your sick mother a ‘breeder’ isn’t spirituality it’s cruelty dressed in crystals. You didn’t snap because you’re violent, you snapped because someone you love was dehumanized in front of you. Not your proudest moment, sure but she earned that wake-up slap like karma on express delivery.”
NTA yeah violence is not the answer but in this case I am totally on your side. Women needs a reality check. Being a SAHM also is a job that often goes 24/7. doing this with an auto immune disease like your mom means your mom is badass and amazing.
I think no contact with her is needed till she changes her ways and realises how disrespectful and hurtful she’s become
NTA. But maybe apologize for using violence. Tell her you are sorry that you couldn’t restrain yourself from slapping her when you were overwhelmed with what she had said. But also tell her that should the situation repeat you’d probably wouldn’t be able to restrain yourself again. And then you’d have to apologize again which would suck but oh well. This way she’ll have her apology but you’ll make it clear to her that her behavior is unacceptable.
Not an AH as long as you are happy to take the consequences. No matter how much you (and, I suspect most of us) think she deserved it , the law will not take that into consideration. If your sister reports you, there is every chance that you will end up with an assault conviction. That will have consequences and you can bet she will milk it for all she is worth. Is it worth it for you? Only you know the answer to that.
Tell your sister to coach everyone else but stop being a total c*nt to you and your family because she is stuck in a matrix of her own!
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Honestly worked as an admin for a life coach and they are delusional and rip off their clients. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Use words like life changers, trailblazers absolute dribblers. Can’t blame you for the slap they are narcissistic’s. Hope your mum is doing ok.
NTA, should’ve gave her a 2 piece
Time for all of you, and I mean all of you, to cut all contact with her. She wants to cruelly hurt you like that, she can stop seeing you. That’s what she wants anyway, right? Who would want to associate with people who are related to a horrible MAN? /s
She is lost to the misandrist MLM scheme she’s in. She can stay lost.
ESH (except your mom). You lost the moral high ground when you physically engaged with your sister. Use your words to defend your mom not hair pulling and slapping like some playground avenger. fwiw — who is she gonna ‘report’ you to? The police ? They, imho, wouldn’t bother writing up the complaint unless you left bruises and she had a medical report. Her cult leader?
I mean, if slapping her was your only regret, you were pretty restrained. Maybe next time you can just challenge her to a duel at dawn.
You can’t apologize to Nova because the Matrix isn’t allowing you to do it.
NTA
NTA. Reporting you to the cops sounds like something someone in the matrix under the influence of the patriarchy would do to me…
But all joking aside, unless you slapped her hard enough to leave a mark, then as I see it there isn’t even any proof that you slapped her at all. Even if she did report it, I doubt anything would come of it.
I’d just cut her off at this point.
I mean LEGALLY you probably shouldn’t have hit your sister. But morally? You did good. NTA but if I were you I would delete this, if she does file a police report and she finds your Reddit account this is evidence. Or edit the post like “My sister is falsely accusing me of hitting her after we had an argument, sometimes we don’t get along but I would never cause her physical harm. It hurts me that she would spread such lies.” /s
Nah but for real, hit that bitch again.